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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 09:43:45 AM
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I have a step-sister Jennifer that was killed a couple days ago. Some man murdered her (and one of her friends) and then burned the apartment in an attempt to cover his tracks. He has turned himself into the police.
When my dad first told me, I got angry. But, it was strange, it was like an ecstatic anger. As my dad was speaking his words through the phone, I felt energy leaving my body and going to him, as he was crying. My ego-mind was making mental assumptions about the circumstances of the death which turned out to be not true, but the whole time, I remained inwardly calm...very steady and poised in my normal emptiness/lightness of being. The anger and disbelief was just a surface-level emotion that was not nearly as deep as the inner knowingness and acceptance that life is unpredictable, that nothing on the temporal plane is guaranteed, and that even so, all is well, and all is better than well, actually.
Last night I saw much of my extended family that I hadn't seen in quite some time, and there was a wonderful reality of UNITY that was undeniably present and palpable. It was a mixture of shock, disbelief, laughter, crying, joy, confusion, tension and relief. It's a full-spectrum deal.
I shared this news at an AA meeting, and there was an outpouring of support from people who had experienced very similar events: tragic losses that occur unexpectedly. No one came up to me and said "Oh, poor Bodhi..." as a way to coddle any self-pity on my part. Because there was, and is, no self-pity on my part. Instead, people said matter-of-factly, "Sorry for your loss," with compassionate words and hugs and holding-hands prayers. But above all, they shared their "experience, strength and hope" about enduring these events and continuing to remain in the constant awareness that we're on God's time, not our's. I guess in AYP terms, that's the abiding witness--the inner silence that remains unshaken by the curve balls of life. And that condition flows through the nervous system--I can attest to that.
Anyway, for me, it's just another reminder to value and take full advantage of my time on earth. I won't waste it on escapism or trying to deny the fullness of life--that includes through spiritual bypassing or waiting for a better life after death. It's all HERE and NOW, even as the temporal hologram of earth reality is projected on an infinite ocean of awareness. I don't believe anyone ever runs out of time; we just keep coming back until we fulfill our utmost potential so we can experience the richness of our individual stories--always collectively tied to the whole.
My main concern is for Jennifer's twin sister, Jessica, who is probably feeling the most pain. Being a twin myself, I know how deep and intimate the bond is. If it had been my twin brother that had got killed, I would be emotionally crushed on a level that touches to the core of my psyche. Inner silence may be untouchable, but the tendrils and heart-strings within relationships always feel the sensory data, as we adapt to changes in the karmic matrix.
Also, Jessica has been struggling with drug/alcohol addiction, and she may use that option as a coping mechanism, so I'm reaching out to her (in a non-invasive, non-preacher way) to show her that there is a better solution in the way of sobriety, spiritual practices, and non-attachment. Any samyama-vibrations that can be sent her way will be greatly appreciated.
It gets real. 
Love. Unity. Strength. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 11:40:49 AM
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Hi Bodhi Tree,
I'm stunned... and in need of my meditation sit. Sending out a letting go vibe. The heart knows such sorrow.
Be
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 12:31:30 PM
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| I am very sorry for your loss and that of your family. You are all in my prayers. |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 12:34:49 PM
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Love you, Bodhi! Yes, yes, yes and yes for all of it.  |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 1:02:57 PM
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Wow, thank you for sharing this experience and serene reflection. This really touches me...
Love |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 1:28:38 PM
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| Thank you, bewell, jeff, whippoorwill, anima! You're all fine comrades and I greatly appreciate the resonance and strength in stillness. |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 1:49:53 PM
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| Bodhi, my love and prayers are with you and yours always. Love you, my dear. |
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Will Power
Spain
415 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 2:54:43 PM
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Sorry for your loss, brother. My samyama prayers for you and your family.  |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 3:18:29 PM
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Bodhi,
I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find the strength to overcome this tragedy. My prayers are with you and your family.
Love,
Sunyata
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 5:24:36 PM
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Bodhi
Love and hugs for you and your family.
PKJ |
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Parallax
USA
348 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 7:01:05 PM
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Bodhi
So sorry to hear...sending love and prayers your way
Much Love to You |
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apatride
New Caledonia
94 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 7:44:01 PM
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| My thoughts go to you and your family, Bodhi Tree. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 8:40:17 PM
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| kami, will power, sunyata, pkj, parallax, apatride...thank you so much. This is a huge help. A wonderful outpouring of divine love from a wonderful community. |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2013 : 10:50:18 PM
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| Words never seem to be enough. My prayers are for you and your family. |
Edited by - jonesboy on Oct 14 2013 10:49:25 AM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 04:03:07 AM
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 04:57:02 AM
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Will include Jessica in samyama
Sorry to hear about your tragedy
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 09:45:39 AM
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Shocked, loss for words, so sorry dear Bodhi, will send samyama on guidance and healing to you and family affected.
Love,
Albert |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 1:08:43 PM
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| ((((())))) |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 2:15:52 PM
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Best wishes to you Bodhi, and your family, during this difficult time
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 4:17:34 PM
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| You and your family are in my prayers. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 01:20:32 AM
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| jonesboy, maheswari, sparkle, aumnaturel, shanti, mr_anderson, billinl.a...the swell of gratitude is immense...life eternal in stillness... |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 03:16:44 AM
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Much Love
Sey |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 08:23:10 AM
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Hi Bodhi Tree,
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
It gets real.
Love. Unity. Strength.
Yes - Love, Unity, Strength.
I've added Samyama per your request, and, as always, I'm here with fully open heart in love and friendship as you're living all this.
Your post is moving and profound in many ways -- thanks so much for sharing all of it with all of us.
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 11:01:52 AM
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2013 : 12:25:22 AM
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| No words. Love to you, Bodhi. Stay strong my brother |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2013 : 2:08:43 PM
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| Thank you for sharing fellow twin. Sending love and healing to you and your family. |
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Tragedy, Coping, Endurance
