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Ananda
3115 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 22 2013 : 10:57:57 AM
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Love that expects something in return is not love, but prostitution.
"Francis Lucille" |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2013 : 11:40:37 AM
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Kind of a harsh way of describing it, but gets to the true essence of the point.  |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2013 : 12:32:28 PM
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It's sort of a reply for me... I was thinking about this subject today... I tried so hard and was really dedicated to my spiritual quest... Yet no result... I feel like a mess... It was a disappointment... Plus now I can't even do a little practice without overloading... Whereas for others it was too easy. I really love God but I am angry and disappointed in God and many of his saints because of this. But my love is a form of prostitution to an extent. I don't just love him for the sake of love... I have expectations.
So this was His reply. |
Edited by - Ananda on Sep 22 2013 1:01:49 PM |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2013 : 2:07:27 PM
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Hi Ananda,
If that is what he sent to you (or you interpreted it as meaningful), then you seem to only have one side of the equation. As the quote says, true or unconditional love is an "out flowing" with no expectation of return. But, our understanding of love grows as we drop attachments that we associate with it.
Rather than attacking "love", consider looking at it from the inverse. Contemplate "forgiveness". When you truly forgive, the attachment drops, and you get the out flowing of love naturally.
This may sound very corny, but if you can forgive everyone and everything (including yourself), you get enlightenment for free.
Peace, love & light Brother. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2013 : 3:14:51 PM
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Yes, i agree it is a harsh way of describing it. Just because your love is not as perfect as God's, doesn't mean it needs to be classified as dirty and immoral.
Many people have relationships where each one satisfies the needs of the other, and they are quite happy. I would classify it more like symbiosis rather than prostitution.
PS It is not much of a reach to change your expectations of God to "He always does what is best for me", rather than a specific thing. You just need to wait longer to find out why he did what he did. if it is not what you expected; just wait some more. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Sep 22 2013 3:21:03 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2013 : 5:43:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
But my love is a form of prostitution to an extent. I don't just love him for the sake of love... I have expectations.
So this was His reply.
Hi Ananda,
Maybe it is time for you to take a step back (remove yourself from the struggles) and look (witness) at what is going on.
Look at what you are saying, thinking, writing... Watch how this is your pattern... Look at what keeps this pattern in place. Accepting that this is who you are and instead of putting labels or trying to explain who or what you are and/or change to what you think the perfect "you" should be, accept that this is who you are, and there is nothing wrong with it, because God does not care if you are a prince or a prostitute, he loves them equally.
The love experienced by us is directly proportional to how much we love ourselves. God loves us all equally, but unless we learn to love ourselves, we cannot experience God's love... we will always feel we are not good enough to be loved, experience the love through our own filters. An example of this is walking in a beautiful place, one day we appreciate the beauty and feel at peace when walking here, another day we are stressed and upset and the same place does not help us feel at peace. The place is the same, our filter makes us feel the peace or not. Similarly, god's love is the same ... When we love ourselves, we have dropped the filters by which we judge ourselves, we experience the love... When we are hard on ourselves and can't accept who we are, we don't.
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2013 : 01:20:29 AM
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| Thank you all |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2013 : 07:39:10 AM
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That's a good answer Shanti, got me thinking. If we don't love ourselves unconditionally, then are we prostituting ourselves? Who is sacrificing what? It boggles my mind. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2013 : 12:55:27 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
But my love is a form of prostitution to an extent. I don't just love him for the sake of love... I have expectations.
So this was His reply.
Hi Ananda,
Maybe it is time for you to take a step back (remove yourself from the struggles) and look (witness) at what is going on.
Look at what you are saying, thinking, writing... Watch how this is your pattern... Look at what keeps this pattern in place. Accepting that this is who you are and instead of putting labels or trying to explain who or what you are and/or change to what you think the perfect "you" should be, accept that this is who you are, and there is nothing wrong with it, because God does not care if you are a prince or a prostitute, he loves them equally.
The love experienced by us is directly proportional to how much we love ourselves. God loves us all equally, but unless we learn to love ourselves, we cannot experience God's love... we will always feel we are not good enough to be loved, experience the love through our own filters. An example of this is walking in a beautiful place, one day we appreciate the beauty and feel at peace when walking here, another day we are stressed and upset and the same place does not help us feel at peace. The place is the same, our filter makes us feel the peace or not. Similarly, god's love is the same ... When we love ourselves, we have dropped the filters by which we judge ourselves, we experience the love... When we are hard on ourselves and can't accept who we are, we don't.
Dear Shantiji,
What you shared is beautiful... Unfortunately for many years on the path I was on it was mostly about contradicting my own self... or shutting down the ego or looking at it as no good or a demon even... I undertook this line of thought in all the practices I did. My guides recently told me not be hard on myself but treat it as a child who doesn't know it's own good. I have made so many mistakes and misunderstood many things.
As for the pattern it's there I've noticed it before. I take a break then I come back and burn.
It's all in our own filters as you said.
Namaste |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2013 : 2:33:31 PM
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| It's strange how those of us who are hard on ourselves are split into two opposing personalities, and neither one is our true self... |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2013 : 7:33:33 PM
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| I wonder how many times I've heard and read this talk. So what or who is my true self? I can't seem to find it on my own. God knows I've done spiritual practices for years alongside a lot of non relational self inquiry... Which sadly I am realizing now. So please enlightwn me dear ETher. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 07:46:41 AM
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I'm sure there are lots of opinions on this.
IMHO, it is the part of us that is already enlightened and we don't know it because we are so busy with ego-mind. It is the part of us that isn't attached to everyday concerns or mortality, and automatically loves unconditionally because it has no fear.
It's the part that would be left if we were able to give up all negative emotions. Some would say it is the part of us that is united with God already, but I don't like those words, and I think we are always separate, but with an unforgettable connection. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 08:02:09 AM
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| Beautiful words dear brother. Salam |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 08:53:41 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
It's strange how those of us who are hard on ourselves are split into two opposing personalities, and neither one is our true self...
It's not just the ones who are hard on themselves, it is also the ones who think they are special or "chosen". God loves everyone equally, if we think "we" are special or not worth anything, we are adding a layer that keeps us from experiencing the love. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 09:00:52 AM
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quote:
As for the pattern it's there I've noticed it before. I take a break then I come back and burn.
Hi Ananda,
Is there anyone you really trust? If there is, maybe use them as a sounding board and tell them the patterns you see. You are not going to them for answers... you are going to tell them the patterns you see, and they will send you back to yourself with questions to look within for answers. This is not easy, the ego/mind hates it.. hates putting light on what it thinks are our weaknesses... but if you can trust and start opening up, you will be able to loosen the knot.
If you'd like to try it with me, send me an email... or if there is anyone else you trust, try it with them. Few here at the forum can help.
Much love!
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 09:26:22 AM
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I trust you. I will send an email your way.
Love,
Ananda |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 09:27:41 AM
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Thank you!
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yogani
USA
5242 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 11:05:07 AM
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Hi Ananda:
You know, you have really come a long way over the years. You used to be absorbed in the drama much of the time, and now you are talking about your identification with the drama. That is a big change, perhaps not noticed as much by you as by others. So there is growing awareness, but the practitioner may not always be the first to notice it (a common situation for meditators). It can creep up on us like that.
The loosening of identification will continue as your efforts on your path do, and awareness continues to grow. Not to worry. There is a big difference between being totally caught up in a fist fight versus noticing that we are in a fist fight and wondering why. It's big progress!
The guru is in you.
PS: With rising awareness, we also gradually notice our tendency to over-think things (the mind machine), and in time come to judge less and relax more within the ups and downs of our outer and inner life.
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2013 : 11:43:19 AM
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Beloved Yoganiji,
You are always a great support. Thank you for chiming in. These words coming from you mean a lot over here. In your infinite gratitude
Much love and namaste |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Sep 25 2013 : 04:46:59 AM
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| i am available too |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 25 2013 : 05:06:07 AM
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| Shokran |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2013 : 2:13:37 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
...accept that this is who you are, and there is nothing wrong with it, because God does not care if you are a prince or a prostitute, he loves them equally.
Thanks for this tender reminder, Shanti. |
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Prostitution
