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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - May 20 2013 : 11:39:20 PM
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I am only describing what I see, and what I sense. I am lost in my imagination, and only my imagination is real right now. And my imagination contains all that I have gathered from the past, and probably much more. The present moment in time is only the past moving forward, and I can freeze it and call it "now", but the moment never stops moving. But "now" actually contains all the past, present, and future, and these elements have merely been spread out in increments so we can experience the phenomenon of change in many forms. I can't prove this assumption; I only know it to be true on a deep, intuitive level.
Part of me will never change. My body, my mind, my feelings and perceptions--these will all change--but the "me" that is perceiving these things will not. That "me" I cannot point to, cannot show, cannot identify. That "me" simply is, beyond containment. It's just an invisible awareness, listening to my personal story and experience of individuality. But the individuality and invisible awareness can never be separated, nor have they ever been separate. So, actually I am BOTH that which changes and does not change--merged. This I cannot prove either, but writing those words rings incredibly true nevertheless.
Always discovering, always becoming, always reaching beyond limits that have been set in place, we, as individuals forever joined as a whole, communicate and redefine our roles in existence for the purpose of genius manifestation. The genius wants to come into being. The potential wants to be actualized. The lost story wants to be told. So it is. And so it is fruitless, pointless, insane and stupid to try to escape the individual story each seed of the whole must live. And the more the individual becomes aware of his/her/its relationship to the whole, the more the story becomes enriched, enlivened, and illuminated with the latent genius of becoming and being. Every leaf on a tree grows in proportional patterns that stretch from the root seed. There is an inherent design at work that allows for malleability, but again, the source of the design is invisible, and yet this source produces vast intricacies and interconnected webs of reality for the mere purpose of demonstrating endless possibility.
The point isn't to deny individuality in becoming the whole. The point is to embrace individuality so the whole can become many--joined in a dance.
So, what's the rush? All will unfold in due time, and all will be fulfilled in accordance with the secret and hidden design of the source, which is beyond genius. Yet, the desire to know the source will propel the individual at a certain pace, and therein lies the freedom of choice to participate in the unfolding design. |
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apatride
New Caledonia
94 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 01:35:53 AM
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| Nicely said and food for bakhti, can't wait to live That in my own flesh. |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 08:37:15 AM
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Hi Bodhi,
Thank you for you beautiful description. Very profound. 
How much malleability do you find? From your perspective, is there free will?
Thanks again,
Jeff |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 12:35:25 PM
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Thanks Bodhi Tree for your personal insight and inspiration.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
the individuality and invisible awareness can never be separated, nor have they ever been separate.
That is a great line. We see it written in many forms, but sometimes it just takes that personal touch to have it get across to us, and become a subtle statement in self-inquiry; it is this in combination with having the ripeness for it here and now that's surely part of anupaya (non-way/pathless path) that can come alive (more accurately, the aspirant tuning to it's omnipresence) with the inner & outer gurus and satsang.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
So, actually I am BOTH that which changes and does not change--merged. This I cannot prove either, but writing those words rings incredibly true nevertheless.
To follow up on your last sentence, do you mean that it also takes part of what you see and sense? I do not meant to and hope not to introduce doubt with my curiosity about whether that sentence is something that now is always present and true to you, or a method of inquiry ringing true.
Related to that question, and stepping a bit out of the reluctance to share and objectify subtleties I like to leave to themselves in practice, there is the emerging sense of that backdrop during DM and Samyama, visible maybe only due to the tendency of the mind to divert it to itself 'on sight' by way of shared enjoyment (bliss?). It seems more firm with respect to the otherwise alternating cycles of mantra or sutra, absorption by mental wandering (and hopefully in micro-samadhis somewhere in there), and silence- whether artificial effort-by-habit or by quieting of subtle pre-thought impulses. It is still too early to say ayp-textbook-perfect beginner micro-insight of silence pairing with energetic accents, but cannot deny this consistent observation either. But to have that at least begin to permeate daily life, much less start to serve as a foundation for one's being, that's still not within reach.
For that reason, your inquiry about the individual and this "invisible awareness" is really fitting. Consistently seeing how the mind (and/or samskaras of mind?) always bends and diffracts that awareness to the point of feeling like it is operating independently, one can only be faced with the archetypal question of 'who am I?' if that goes on apparently without me at all. The inner answer to the inquiry you wrote helps begin to 'see through' some of the accumulating obstructions during the day by recalling the mind to its source, help keep the mirror as clean as right after a sitting, and to bridge the effects of practice outwards. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 1:44:22 PM
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Well, Jeff, if I pause for a moment in stillness, as I type these words, I can recall learning language, and using my body as tool to make sounds...because this has been necessary and so important from my earliest memories in this life. Furthermore, I learned letters and written words, and how to shape them and align them with inner thoughts, desires, perceptions, and so this skill was a combination of free will and the acknowledgment of existing things. So, to me, the free will and malleability are present all the time--at least during the waking state. During dreams, I don't seem to have any free will currently. Though, during adolescence (my pre-drug and alcohol days), I could be aware and make conscious choices during dreams. I'm hoping that comes back with increased purification and opening.
The more still I am, the more I can be aware of the flow of programming that is running through the body/mind. So, it seems to me, that an increased presence and foundation of stillness will actually increase my ability as an individual to make free-will choices. And the more I play music (solo and with friends), I realize that life is a rhythm of vibrations. And samyama takes advantage of that inherent dynamic. We pick up a sutra and release it in a rhythmic way. So, I have a free will choice in picking the sutras that are released, but I don't have a choice in the exact effect that will occur. I guess that free will falls under the domain of cultivating causes--rather than manipulating effects. If I use my free will to attend to the causes, then I don't worry so much about the effects (over which I have no control).
What do you think, Jeff? Any of this resonate with you?
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 2:03:23 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by AumNaturel
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
So, actually I am BOTH that which changes and does not change--merged. This I cannot prove either, but writing those words rings incredibly true nevertheless.
To follow up on your last sentence, do you mean that it also takes part of what you see and sense?
Exactly. I cannot grab hold of who I am, yet who I am is present and participating in all the sensory experience of life. Isn't that the paradox where the intellect has to resign? I can't figure it out. I can only surrender to the flow and make the best of what can only be considered a miracle. For me, the body and mind are still in play. Maybe I'm not as heavily identified with them, but I certainly haven't nullified or annihilated them! Maybe if I progress, then the body and mind will disappear (before death)? And then maybe all semblance of individuality will vanish as well? That's what the hardcore non-dualists seem to say. But, I e-mailed Yogani recently and he confessed to having some sense of individuality still present...though he says it's more about the whole now...which makes total sense.
Non-identification is not annihilation. |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 2:24:00 PM
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Hi Bodhi,
Your words definitely resonate, and for me, there is a true beauty in them. While many talk about being lost in the divine, you capture the balance/integration in your description. The merging of "thy will" and "my will". Also, the "potential that want to be actualized"...or as I think of it as the "purest desire that causes a flower to grow and bloom"...the story that wants to be told.
On free will... My belief is similar... That our free will/choices grow with our clarity... From autopilot ego responses to co-creator.
Thank you again for your profound words. I hope you write more about it.
Best wishes...
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 2:53:40 PM
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| Thank you, Jeff! Co-creator...love that word choice. Your writing is equally profound to me as well. I will catch you in Michigan, yes? I'm super-stoked about meeting all these electronic AYP personalities I've been rambling on with....ahhh, nothing like sharing physical space. |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 2:57:51 PM
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Hi Bodhi,
Thank you for your beautiful words. They definitely resonate here.
Much spirituality of the past seems to have contained concepts that somehow reject the wonder of creation (with all its multiplicity): In Christianity you have original sin, mortification of the flesh and so on, in Buddhist and Hindu religions there is often the idea that life is suffering, and ultimate goal is to end the cycle of death and rebirth. There's also the reference to the world as being "Maya" - illusion or ignorance.
It seems a lot of saintly figures moved towards withdrawal from or rejection of the world.
I can't see creation, individuality, ego or any of these things in a negative light and I have no interest in rejecting them or withdrawing from the world. Especially as spiritual openings have increased the sense in me that even the "bad" stuff that happens isn't perhaps actually as terrible as it seems. I find myself just becoming increasingly open to experience, and realizing that things that I previously judged to be bad were not necessarily bad, I'd simply imprisoned my perception of them with the judgments I made.
The manifest world of seeming separate individuals and duality is a wonderful and "awe-inspiring-beyond-words" cosmic drama and I for one have no interest in ending the cycle of death and rebirth! I rather like it here - and waking up out of the heavier states of identified awareness just makes it all the more enjoyable. |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 3:13:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
...
I will catch you in Michigan, yes? I'm super-stoked about meeting all these electronic AYP personalities I've been rambling on with....ahhh, nothing like sharing physical space.
Sorry to say that I will not be able to make the retreat, but I will pick you up at the airport... to share that physical space for a little while... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 10:07:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
I can't see creation, individuality, ego or any of these things in a negative light and I have no interest in rejecting them or withdrawing from the world. Especially as spiritual openings have increased the sense in me that even the "bad" stuff that happens isn't perhaps actually as terrible as it seems. I find myself just becoming increasingly open to experience, and realizing that things that I previously judged to be bad were not necessarily bad, I'd simply imprisoned my perception of them with the judgments I made.
The manifest world of seeming separate individuals and duality is a wonderful and "awe-inspiring-beyond-words" cosmic drama and I for one have no interest in ending the cycle of death and rebirth! I rather like it here - and waking up out of the heavier states of identified awareness just makes it all the more enjoyable.
Brilliant. Thank you. That's exactly the kind of affirmation I was looking for. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2013 : 10:12:50 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jeff
Sorry to say that I will not be able to make the retreat, but I will pick you up at the airport... to share that physical space for a little while...
Splendid. See you then. |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2013 : 11:15:00 AM
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Hi Mr. Anderson,
I know you are talking from your experience, and it prompted me to write about my understanding of the older views, why I think they came about, and how they can still be relevant today.
I'd say it's about perspective. Back then, and even now really, not everyone had/has easy access or equal opportunity to various spiritual and philosophical teachings, gurus and masters. At one point, I imagine nothing was really known other than the world seen as it appears (as maya, saturated with all experiences that can be summarized as pain and suffering), permeated mostly by a waking state of sleep, little memory or insight of the stages of sleep, with the occasional glimpse of grace seeping through.
This distant past is anything but, since it is still a perspective encountered by everyone, including those who have the ripeness to transcend it soon or eventually in their lifetime. Rejecting the world, asceticism, even self-mortification, I see these as truly sane responses - with respect to - the first emerging glimpses of maya for what it is (first arising of self-reflection from undifferentiated sleep of infancy or waking states) in the absence of anything/anyone else above that other than the inner guru and nature as it appears to the physical senses.
In such a scenario, does it not sound like do or die, ascend and escape from the world of limitation or waste the only opportunity one seems to have in the attempt. From such a view, even a concept like reincarnation would be a luxury to have direct access and verification to. Those that began to have success and insight and who bothered to take disciplines along the way would naturally teach within that world view and based on those exact methods; it makes perfect sense.
It is from those very old roots I find certain paths emerging, particularly Buddhism and Hinduism, both originated in India. Although conveniently regarded by scholars as religions, one would find more diversity and openness and less dogmatism than one would expect out of ordinary cults and sects that become widely adopted over long periods of time. Shaivism too arises out of India, and some claim Tibetan Buddhism traces its roots in it. It parallels but also contrasts Vedic-Vedantic views, and borrows or adopts much found in yoga, and indeed it is an emphasis on embracing inherent divinity (immanence) as a means of transcendence.
I have read about some gurus (Sri Atmananda) that have certain lines that are essentially Shaivite, or others who take a more eclectic approach (Sri N Maharaj) to include both poles in a perfectly coherent blend. Even Shaivism relies on methods that essentially reject aspects of the world, containing references and explanations about 'the fall' to ignorance. Maya too is found in the AYP glossary where it is contrasted to Lila from a progressively more enlightened view. I see it as forming a pillar of bhakti, a driving force in aspiring towards the spiritual by lower upayas or means as a result of recognition of maya, ignorance, and inherent limitations in the tools (ego, physical health, opportunities, etc.) used in such a pursuit.
In the absence of such recognition, and explicit acknowledgement of suffering, pain, ignorance, illusion, bondage (to karmas/vasanas and reincarnation, loss of Shakti and samadhis..), there is the risk (and reality) of chasing an illusion life after life, amplifying these obstructions in oneself and especially others (living in a virtual bubble at the expense of others/nature and wholeness), and in the end, withholding enlightenment based on the principle that Yogani introduces (which I've quoted here).
These are just some thoughts, stored in memory and residing deeper to a place that's practically inaccessible without specialized training. If direct access was lost, what would be left is the true measure of one's practices and experiences. Though regardless, because such knowledge is recorded, passed on, preserved, and available, those enduring qualities are becoming much more prevalent. The success of the teachings I see happening when there is no more need for them, as when such insights arise spontaneously without prior knowledge of such concepts.
It is wonderful to see it happening here on the forums. |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2013 : 5:42:33 PM
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Hi AumNaturel,
I think I understand what you are saying. I can only speak from personal experience because I'm largely ignorant of the history of spiritual traditions, my only connection with teachers who aren't alive today is the great resonance I feel with certain quotes of Nisargadatta, Ramana Maharshi, a few other non-dual teachers/sages, and some ancient texts such as the Ashtavakra Gita.
My personal experience is simply:
-I draw much inner bliss from the ground of being, inner silence, recognition of my nature as awareness, or whatever you like to call it.
-As a first consequence of this for me, attachment and aversion tend to gradually disappear, and life becomes easy as it's increasingly lived without preferences and agendas (although in my case at least, some strong vasanas/attachments/aversions still remain, but they are easy ones to manage, and maybe they too will go with time)
-As a second consequence of this for me, identification with the body-mind decreases, in a way that frees one from psychological suffering that derives from identification, but simultaneously allows us to enjoy our individuality and personal, human aspect of experience
-As long as I remain connected with the ground of being, and act in a way that is true to that, life is very joyful and one is free to enjoy the play of forms, whilst being "in the world, but not of it". In fact, even sensations I once would've called "suffering" are suffused with peace and I can no longer call them suffering.
The result is that in my mind there can be no labeling of experience as "suffering" or "not suffering", as though these were objective labels. All sensations, emotions, images, sounds, smells & thoughts (which is all that the waking experience consists of) are neither inherently positive or negative, good nor bad, suffering or not suffering. We either react to them with resistance or craving depending on our vasana, or if connected with the ground of being, we gradually come to meet them openly and without resistance, which allows us to realize their ultimate neutrality, whilst the experience is suffused with our own inner bliss. The former way is leads to the experience of suffering, the latter the experience of freedom. Or something like that anyway!
To me when Jesus said "the kingdom is at hand" he meant here, now - but only once you've cleansed your own perception.
I also think that creation, maya is too wonderful to look upon as something to be transcended, escaped or otherwise: to me it's a great gift, and we were put here to love it, care for it and enjoy it - just as much as were put here to know ourselves as that which is entirely beyond it and free from it.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2013 : 07:14:09 AM
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| Well said, Mr. Anderson. The Jesus quote is very fitting. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 07:54:06 AM
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“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.”
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 8:16:21 PM
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Love that quote, Karl. I remember first reading that when I was teenager and starting to explore consciousness. Thank you.
Unity. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2013 : 10:03:36 AM
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Blake's poetry has a really special feel to it. Its mysterious and mischievous at the same time. It hides its puzzle in plain sight and hints that the key to understanding is not where we would normally look.
To see a World in a grain of sand,
And a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.… |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2013 : 3:34:09 PM
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| Thank you, Bodhi Tree. Very beautiful! |
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Individuality
