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robfrommi
USA
34 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 05 2013 : 07:20:54 AM
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I looked at the AYP writings and looked at the forum but could not find a number for those who are low to moderate in there sex life. I know it might be hard to say how many times as a concrete number because everyone is a little different. I would consider once a week low, few times a week moderate and every day high but that is me.
This question is from this lesson
http://www.aypsite.org/T2.html |
Edited by - robfrommi on Mar 05 2013 07:22:44 AM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2013 : 11:00:53 AM
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This is one of the most interesting questions! When doing research on this type of questions it turns out the range is VERY WIDE! For some High would be 3-4 or more times/day, and low for some would be every second year...  |
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robfrommi
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2013 : 1:19:45 PM
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| It would be nice if we could get some clarification on the subject by someone! |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2013 : 1:57:39 PM
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Hi Robfrommi,
As emc mentioned, the answer you are looking for is completely subjective so there is no set answer. For me, sex approx. once a week would be moderate, approx. once a month would be low, and once a day (or more) would be awesome, er, I mean, high.  For someone else this would be completely off.
Love,
Carson  |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2013 : 3:38:39 PM
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| According to ayurveda there is a 35 days cycle for semen which is similar but slightly off from a womans 28 day cycle (one would think that they would be the same but I am sure that many have noticed the challenges of male to female sexual compatibility). According to Ayurveda anyway it takes 35 days to fully replenish sperm so for health they say that every 35 days is ideal. I would say that that is very infrequent for a young healthy male, and if he is in a relationship very infrequent to satisfy him and his partner. That is how tantra can be a great help. For serious full time yogis that cycle is considered a minimum but very difficult to follow. For ordinary non yogis I would say that it would count as very low. |
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robfrommi
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2013 : 07:16:15 AM
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| Thanks everyone for your input. I do have some serious decisions to make, and this will be very helpful. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2013 : 2:40:54 PM
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I remember frequency was up in this old thread:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=6068#54950
Ejac sex is a mixed blessing IMO (even when adhering to the Taoist or Ayurvedic cycles), making it a little more difficult (for about a week that follows) to stay away from the "plain" ejac orgasm while making love.
It seems to let the steam off at the cost of making the whole long-term journey more zigzag.  |
Edited by - HathaTeacher on Mar 09 2013 2:41:42 PM |
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robfrommi
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Mar 11 2013 : 09:52:30 AM
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| I am married, and a big part of how my wife and I connect is through lovemaking. I am on my path and she is happy on her path (no interest in meditation). When I first started AYP it wasn't a big deal to make love and go all the way. We got two kids both work full time she goes to college so we were lucky to go at it once a week but lately I feel the loss of Prana and it is heart wrenching and spins me off on a downward spiral. Even though I was resistant in trying tantra, I wanted to preserve harmony within the family and make love to my wife so I decided to try Tantra sex. When I told my wife I wanted to try and make love without Ejac she cried. Well that night after we talked and after my nightly meditation one thing lead to an other and we had the most magical spiritual tantra sex. She was happy and I wasn't feeling that loss and it worked out great. I know she could feel the bliss and had a spiritual experience and so did I. The next time we tried I wasn't so lucky and waited too long but I realize everything hard takes dedication and practice. |
Edited by - robfrommi on Mar 11 2013 11:03:40 AM |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Mar 11 2013 : 12:55:51 PM
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Thank you for sharing, robfrommi. Sounds like you're on track. The basic AYP advice which you might have read here (in Yogani's Tantra lessons) is to have as much sex as before (good news - given work, family etc.), not making sex a big deal, and to acquire the tantric techniques and mindset in steps, in your own pace. Detaching from musts, stress, or rush toward goals to achieve, and just doing it, makes it actually easier. It's much more similar to learning yoga than to training of "western" sports:
Too little of will (tamas, in yoga) is like "TV-sofa sporting", it leads nowhere. But, interestingly, excessive will and desire to control life in detail (rajas) doesn't really take it much longer, one can get stuck in the opposite ditch (more ejac-control robot than lover). An open-minded, free attitude (sattva) just enjoys the long path of learning, no matter what happens underway.
The old forum link above was about the proportion of "traditional" ejac sex in one's intimate life under various circumstances (by and large, the less the better - but, self-pacing is essential in AYP).
Enjoy! |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2013 : 9:45:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by robfrommi
I am married, and a big part of how my wife and I connect is through lovemaking. I am on my path and she is happy on her path (no interest in meditation). When I first started AYP it wasn't a big deal to make love and go all the way. We got two kids both work full time she goes to college so we were lucky to go at it once a week but lately I feel the loss of Prana and it is heart wrenching and spins me off on a downward spiral. Even though I was resistant in trying tantra, I wanted to preserve harmony within the family and make love to my wife so I decided to try Tantra sex. When I told my wife I wanted to try and make love without Ejac she cried. Well that night after we talked and after my nightly meditation one thing lead to an other and we had the most magical spiritual tantra sex. She was happy and I wasn't feeling that loss and it worked out great. I know she could feel the bliss and had a spiritual experience and so did I. The next time we tried I wasn't so lucky and waited too long but I realize everything hard takes dedication and practice.
So glad you hear you had a good tantra experience! It does take practice to get used to the technique and be comfortable with the energy, but it is well worth it. Once you get used to it, you won't want to go back to "ordinary" sex. I'm sure your wife will appreciate the benefits.
As for the "frequency" question, it is very subjective. My husband and I only manage to get together on weekends these days due to our work schedules, which for us really does seem "low," but on those days we will have sex for a LONG time, like hours sometimes, so does that count? If our schedules allowed, we would probably do it every day but for shorter sessions. The nice thing about tantra is that since you are preserving your prana, you can do it as often as you want and not detract from your spiritual practice. |
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DoctorWho
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2013 : 7:12:06 PM
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quote:
but lately I feel the loss of Prana and it is heart wrenching and spins me off on a downward spiral. ... I wanted to preserve harmony within the family and make love to my wife so I decided to try Tantra sex.
I know exactly what you mean. The only reason Tantra is on my radar is because as a happily married man, celibacy is out of the question.
In all honesty, if I would have figured all of this out years ago, I just might be a celibate yogi/monk today. But...such is my karma. I don't resent my karma...though I confess I may have a bit in the past. But what I've learned from sharing my life with someone and being a dad has probably done more to cultivate patience, compassion and cut my self-importance down to size than any isolated, celibate, monk-like existence. I actually feel quite blessed. A householder yogi am I.
So, here I am investigating Tantra. All the while trying to gently show my wife the wonders of this whole process of yoga. One works with the tools at hand. As I learn to surrender more and more it seems like I am guided to what will work best for me anyway...regardless of what "I" may think works best. Yeah...because relying on the ego has worked so well in the past right? haha. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2013 : 11:30:33 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by DoctorWho
In all honesty, if I would have figured all of this out years ago, I just might be a celibate yogi/monk today. But...such is my karma. I don't resent my karma...though I confess I may have a bit in the past. But what I've learned from sharing my life with someone and being a dad has probably done more to cultivate patience, compassion and cut my self-importance down to size than any isolated, celibate, monk-like existence. I actually feel quite blessed. A householder yogi am I.
I was celibate for 14 years before I got together with my husband nearly 8 years ago. I was extremely happy in my celibate life, but I share your observations as far as cultivating patience, compassion, etc. Sharing your life with someone definitely provides more "opportunities" for spiritual growth. My life is much more difficult now but I feel very blessed by the Love that we share. |
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DoctorWho
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 5:09:37 PM
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quote:
I was extremely happy in my celibate life, but I share your observations as far as cultivating patience, compassion, etc. Sharing your life with someone definitely provides more "opportunities" for spiritual growth. My life is much more difficult now but I feel very blessed by the Love that we share.
I know, right ?
In the past, when life got "difficult"...I would often think how much "better" life would be if I were meditating in a cave somewhere and roaming the earth like Caine in Kung Fu.
Bah! Those hermits are up against it too. They have their own 14 piece luggage set of karmic baggage to deal with...how I thought otherwise I can't figure out.
I often tell my wife, it is our mutual karma to have each other. Her practical, kind, "grounded" nature is a perfect compliment to my creative, artistic, spiritual bent.
We're just beginning reading the Tantra lessons along with some of Yogani's interviews. There's no way I could have made these venerable spiritual concepts accessible to her without Yogani's gift for breaking it all down in such clear, understandable ways. Yogani and AYP are a blessing.
Thanks for the reply Radharani |
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How much is low and moderate in their sex life?
