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Assorted Vibrations
USA
25 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 03 2012 : 04:27:06 AM
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I find myself feeling depressingly frustrated by my seeming lack of control over being able to help people. I can be friendly and people appreciate it, but I feel a terrible need to be doing something more, including in my work. I don't know what to do with my seemingly unbearable compassion. Does anybody else relate? What have you done to address it?
Or, should I just focus on changing my mindset? |
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amoux
United Kingdom
266 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2012 : 04:51:52 AM
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It sounds like a heart opening phase - it's very natural to help others - it's what love does. In my experience, it's wanting to help and not allowing yourself to do so that's unbearable 
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2012 : 08:49:57 AM
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You help by working on yourself. No one else can really be helped. It's object attachment. Just as some objects make one person happy and the next person afraid. The happiness or fear are not in the object. This is the same with the need to help others in a direct sense.
That's not to say you shouldn't do that as well, it's just down to your particular nature and development so no need to deny doing good works, just realise it is attachment and the belief that you are performing an action.
It's funny, but you can never know if you are helping or hindering. I don't know if you ever saw the cartoon of a boy scout helping an old lady across a road. She was protesting, but the boy scout insisted. Unfortunately the boy scout was taking her to the wrong side of the road.
It's impossible to see the complexity of actions. You might well create another Hitler. So, it's worth knowing that all belief in helping others is for your own happiness and no one else's. |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2012 : 4:02:41 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
You help by working on yourself. No one else can really be helped.
Yes I observe this as well, karl.
Ever had this happen to you?: Someone in desperate need of help comes to you for advice. You give them excellent advice that would genuinely help them if they followed it. They resist it, debate you on it, and ultimately don't follow it. Later on, in their own time, they find their own solution. Maybe they even come back and tell you that you were right.
People will often help themselves if you just be available to them with love, without judging their situation as being wrong or needing to be fixed.
Also, when I changed my motivation from wanting to help others to wanting to serve others, beautiful changes started happening. It's a liberating mindset change that I recommend.
Peace |
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LittleTurtle
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2012 : 10:17:09 PM
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Well you certainly can help others. And you can work on yourself as well. You'll find that helping others is working on yourself and you are the one being helped.
If you have so much driving compassion I suggest that you find a karma yoga type outlet for it. Something physical where you are directly helping others without red tape involvement - no one owes you and you don't owe them. For example volunteering in a difficult environment. There are places in the world where people, individuals have NOTHING. No food, no shelter, no prospects. Go ahead and get you hands really dirty so to speak and see for yourself how really helping some one can change a life as well as your own. Use your imagination and dive in. |
Edited by - LittleTurtle on Jun 03 2012 11:33:04 PM |
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Assorted Vibrations
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2012 : 02:11:45 AM
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| This is great advice, thanks all. I will definitely be looking for a good volunteering opportunity, while staying mindful of my self development and associated motives. |
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How can you bear unbearable compassion?
