|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Sapere Aude
Canada
4 Posts |
 Posted - May 22 2012 : 5:27:52 PM
|
| I would be interested in feedback regarding the following problem. Anytime I read or study spiritual and mystical writings or practice my pranayama and meditation, I find my attention taken over by sexual fantasy. The fantasies are not new to me but have been with me since some premature exposure to sexual activity as a child. They are not normal male fantasies but obsessive and tend to disassociate me from reality, particularly during stress. They are an addiction in that way, and I have struggled with them all my life. It’s like some demon or parasite within feeding off of my life force. There seems to be some particular connection between them and my spiritual studies and practices. The latter trigger the fantasies in their full force and they split my attention and cause an intense struggle to stay focused on studies or practice. I understand from reading the lessons that prana and sexual energies are interconnected. This strikes me as the case. It seems to me that, whenever I active spiritual energies, they are being hijacked by lustful energies to generate the fantasies. The fantasies seem to be a tool of the ego to maintain its foothold, which is at a lower level and is threatened by the letting-go that occurs during spiritual practices. There is a point at which, if I can stay focused on the mantra long enough, I can settle into silence, but this is the exception. I would appreciate if someone could comment on my theory. Are there any techniques to redirect sexual energies to spiritual energies? |
|
|
AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2012 : 6:51:57 PM
|
The readings here do suggest that the sitting practices bring about this redirection automatically because they approach such transmutation through purification and opening from a number of angles simultaneously. From my experience, ever since starting the practice over a year ago it has become easier to maintain brahmacharya and tantra even if it has come with its share of problems (persistent testicular sensitivity). In the past I could not even get a night's sleep after only a week of brahmacharya, and struggled despite cycles of poor sleep and occasional flare-ups of varicoceles (clinically diagnosed as being moderate) with associated pain, worry and exhaustion. So the sitting practices combined with tantra has been a great help so far, even without a clue about what this ecstatic conductivity deal is about, meaning there can't be any vajroli happening.
I cannot relate to such a compulsion, but have you tried sticking to the routine you have so far, and repeatedly returning to it whenever your attention wanders? If there has been even the slightest bit of progress doing that, it would be greatly encouraging. Deep Meditation done consistently can definitely increase mental resources to cope while also weaning prior addictions, even the simple apparently harmless ones like reading the news online. |
 |
|
|
cff
Canada
40 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2012 : 9:49:21 PM
|
The purer you get, the more you can deal with.
The more you can deal with, the more all your subsconcious tendencies surface so you can deal with them. |
|
|
|
AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2012 : 08:44:34 AM
|
As an update, no sooner do I feel more comfortable with tantra and my condition that I experience the worst varicocele ever following two sessions. I have been keeping a log of all incidents to see if any pattern emerges, but my condition just makes it so much harder to preserve when seemingly at random tantra sessions I get pain almost equivalent to a light physical injury in the region which incapacitates me for an hour or two (if lucky) having to lie down with legs elevated, all the while knowing the tissue is probably experiencing hypoxia-induced atrophy.
I have tried one natural formula for the condition but find its mode of action flawed, and it was not surprising to experience how it aggravated the situation. The other alternative is a physical method of obstructing some of the blood flow to the region, which I imagine is easily reversible.
I'm not sure how this update relates to your original post, other than perhaps sharing the ongoing struggles with tantra in desperate efforts to make the sitting practices as effective as possible. |
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2012 : 09:09:41 AM
|
Hi Sapere Aude,
Welcome to the AYP forums.
What you are experiencing is purification. All of the fantasies that you experience are stored in you as blocks. So they will all have to come out and when they do, it is like re-living them. The thing is though, the more you label them as bad and fight them, the more you are adding to the block.
Since this is a childhood trauma, it runs very deep and gets woven into the fabric of our being... so unwinding such blocks takes time. Don't get frustrated or overwhelmed by these... if you can, next time observe them and don't fight them... experience them as something that is happening and it is not you, it is something that you are carrying from the past and has nothing to do with the current you. If you can stay aware and conscious through these phases (not get sucked into the fantasy), you will soon see you can observe without becoming a part of the fantasy. In time, you will see through this.
If at first it seems hard to do, just continue with your practices, esp. meditation... if spinal breathing is increasing these thoughts/purification, reduce the amount of time you spend doing the spinal breathing practice or cut it out completely for a bit, just meditate and increase your access to inner silence, that is where we dissolve all the blocks that come up, and as inner silence grows you will come to a point where it will become easy to observe them and let them go.
There is a topic I had started that may have some techniques that may be helpful to you. http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=1756
The most important thing is to not add any more labels to this. We have done it for a life time... now it is time to start dissolving them so we can become free of it. (I know what you mean by it becomes an addiction, but fighting anything keeps it more in place, the idea is to completely accept it and continue with meditation and let the addiction dissolve)
I hope this helps.
Thanks for sharing.
PS: Just found a lesson by Yogani on something similar: http://www.aypsite.org/272.html |
|
|
|
Sapere Aude
Canada
4 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2012 : 7:35:39 PM
|
| Thank you everyone for your responses. I had assumed (as AumNaturel said) that the right way to deal with these fantasies was to continue practices. After reading Shanti's response, I realized I had not maintained the connection between the current fantasizing and the childhood trauma, although I know it as their source. That is because the fantasies keep regenerating themselves so they always seem new to me. In addition, although I dislike their effect on me, I also enjoy them. Thus, I referred to them as an addiction (I am a recovered alcoholic, so I know the pattern). I like what Shanti said about them still being childhood trauma and therefore coming up from a deep place. That is very helpful for me to reframe them. Although the content of my fantasies may be new, the source, energy, and power of them is old and runs deep. So, I agree that to be patient, not resist them, and just observe them is the way to dissipate their power, and that I will try to do. I agree it will take some time and perhaps that is what frustrates me most. |
|
|
|
sumit Bhardwaj
India
1 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2012 : 02:24:53 AM
|
| Dear, the purpose of any Yoga practice is to unite with the god.The word "yoga" originating from the sanskrit literally mean "to unite" means to unite with supreme person. There are different practice and levels of yoga there is Gyan Yoga (mainly related to knowledge), astanga Yoga (mainly controlling the the breaths and the air with in -mainly patanjali yoga sutra), Hatha yoga (deals with different seating postures to awaken your cakras) and finally there is Bhakti yoga (Loving relationship with the supreme personality of godhead). The Bhakti yoga is considered to the culmination of all form of yoga practice as the ultimate goal of all the yoga practice to re-awaken our real position with almighty. A bhakti yoga practitioner engaged in the devotional service of the lord is continously absorbed in the thoughts of serving the lord and His devotees and thus mind get very little time for ones own sense gratification, this practice is very very beneficial when practiced in the association of people who are following the same. I even know young buys in down town mumbai those who have taken up the practice seriously and on the strength of it leading a celibate life. If you wish you can visit there site http://celibatemonk.com/ |
|
|
|
sivasambho
USA
136 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2012 : 10:51:05 AM
|
| Thanks Sumit. I have heard about Radhanath swami too. Hope to keep visiting the website.... |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Sexual and Spiritual Engeries
