|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
bratybint
United Kingdom
2 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 23 2012 : 01:13:17 AM
|
I am not involved presently in any kind of spiritual activity although like most people I have that sort of a yearning. Life though is very short, theres debates on that, most people on this site probably assume such things as reincarnation or what have you but I being the average ignorant soul have no such knowledge.
Life being short it is hard to make choices about what to do with it or what to prioritise. Prior to meeting a boy I was very interested in religion (although I was focusing on Christianity then) and considering maybe one day I would become a nun. Then one day this boy said to me that if I couldn't love him he must be unlovable and I caved. I knew full well he wasn't unlovable, I knew I could love him, I just didn't like the idea of sacrificing my freedom in order to love him, but in the face of his being all sad I decided his not being all sad was a good site less uncomfortable for me (at least in the short term) than my having to, heaven forbid, make compromises and not do exactly whatever I want whenever I want.
And it worked out well so far. But it completely killed the draw to religion. That was a big struggle it seemed like. Before I felt very loosely tied to life, very loosely involved in "the world" which is why I went out looking for other things to do. Maybe religion could be something to do since I had nothing else to do. Now I have things to do.
Its true, love for a boy ties me very much to the world. Makes me care about the future, makes me care about people when I'd never have reason to care before. Makes me care about a specific place and specific things. Makes me a lot more specific in my affections all round. Makes me less detached, less abstract and more concrete. And I think this has been good in some ways.
Before I sort of thought "maybe one day I will become a nun" now I feel like "I will make money to buy at least 8-10 acres but ideally more like 40-60 acres, I will buy a Yurt to live in with a wood stove in the middle and then I will plant a food forest on my land and invite our families to live there off the land and have some children, I will work to improve local food security and try and strengthen the local language against the invading language of English (which is MY native language - but my boy is local and his children will be local)".
It's weird.
And sometimes I think "maybe I should look into religion and spirituality again" - my boy is against that stuff. He has very modern sensibilities about religion (its the ebil oppressor and at the same time superstitious nonsense followed by women and the uneducated). Do I have time though? When I need to prepare the ground for my family to thrive in an uncertain future?
How do most people handle the issue of time and how little of it we know we have before we are gone? I think all the time I have no idea how things will turn out, that my best laid plans will turn to naught, that Diogenes couldn't tell the corpse of Alexander the Great from the corpse of a slave, but I still want to try and prepare and make plans and build a world within the world, because I want to provide - as much as I can - a good life for my family.
It's weird. When I was being a Christian I heard all about God loving us. And I couldn't really understand. I only understand what love means now that I have someone I love, not just cupboard love like to my parents (I dunno, I do love them but its not a very selfless love, its very "yay me!" and at best "let me repay you a little for the lots you've given" - I've promised to take care of them when they are old though, so hopefully I can make it up) - but I more and more understand all the stuff about God's love now, even if I find it hard to believe in God, because I can see love in reality.
I only found this forum by accident looking for something completely different (the phrase "loss of free will" on google) but I was struck by curiosity to ask this question. |
|
|
Swan
India
256 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2012 : 02:07:27 AM
|
Bratybint, welcome to the forum 
Here we perceive spirituality as another layer over normal life to make life meaningful, and AYP does not at all require anyboby to give up/ignore normal family life, rather it is a set of practices meant for people with normal life with job, family, and love for people.
Believing in any particular form of god is totally the choice of the practitioner, even if you are a non-believer at a particular point, you may take up the practices as a scientific mean to to grow closer to your real self. only if you believe that there is more to the life than we can see, more than the apparent zero sum game of the cycle of birth and death, that is a firm enough ground to start exploring yoga or AYP I think.
Best starting point to explore is going to the 'main lessons' link and starting from lesson 1. If you think those makes sense to you, you can always discuss this with your husband. He is a non-believer, but then who knows may be he is waiting to hear the right approach! I can say because I was kinda non-believer and some day found this forum in Google - like you. I was looking for yoga by the way, however, was full of scepticism
Wish you a geat journey, whatever path you choose (or whichever path chooses you!  ) |
 |
|
|
bratybint
United Kingdom
2 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2012 : 02:26:13 AM
|
I guess it's not just the time thing.
It's the dichotomy between the whole idea of "just being" or trusting in god or whatever way you want to put it, between letting go and trying to take control, to plan and map things out.
I spend a lot of time rushing ahead to the future and making plans and considering the consequences of things (the other day I was considering what effect primogeniture would have on my descendants hundreds of generations in the future, I can't force my children's, children's children's children's...children to follow the customs I teach them anyway so why even sweat it... but I still do wonder about it).
Investing massive import into every single choice and thinking that it will change the world is a lot of fun, but it wastes a lot of energy. Maybe it is better just to "trust in God" or whatever. But then people trusting in God that he will find a replacement for oil, or not let climate change wipe out the human race or whatever are causing people serious problems. "But God promised he wouldn't flood the world again!"... did he? Are we sure?
Dunno. Do I take responsibility for all the minor consequences of my choices and impart massive import to every decision (or lack of one)? Do I accept that I am so small and insignificant those choices could be made any direction and it would have no real effect on the grand scheme of things? Makes me think of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyf3gqQILco
Ah well. I better make the choice to do some work before my assignment deadline, even if that seems pretty insignificant to the grand scheme of things.  |
|
|
|
AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2012 : 1:32:56 PM
|
Hi bratybint,
welcome to the ayp forums!
If I could suggest something, it would be to not overlook the importance of questioning the many assumptions running in the mind. Look at each proposition and follow it down to whatever principles seem to be maintaining it. Follow through as deep as it takes, and then try the same about related ideas to also broaden out. Then, see if a clearer picture emerges and how you personally feel about it. I suggest this because from my experience, being naturally drawn to building conceptual models of everything, I've also realized that the models themselves take a course and life of their own (on top of taking part in maintaining a misperception of self and world as those with insight reassure us) when the unquestioned mind is left unchecked.
Other than that, you can look through the lessons like Swan suggests, found under Key Lessons, start lessons here. You stumbled here and posted for a reason, after all. |
|
|
|
Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2012 : 6:49:21 PM
|
Hi bratybint,
if there is no outer god loving you, than become yourself a goddess of love, the god everyone is seeking. Love is what you are and the quality of your life and your family relates to it 1:1.
Bringing more of yourself, more of the love that is you into this world, will affect everything, from the smallest to the grandest scheme of things ;) more than anything else.
This and similiar places are a hint for the potential of expressing this inner essence of yours for the benefit of everyone including you.
You are welcome to explore what is possible :)
Love
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Choices and Priorities
