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yogishankar

USA
83 Posts

Posted - Jun 23 2012 :  4:47:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
What are the methods you use to forgive your ex and also to forgive yourself. Appreciate if you or any one can eloborate.
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Will Power

Spain
415 Posts

Posted - Jun 25 2012 :  2:51:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks for the hook tool, Karl.

Yogishankar to drop the attachment to actions and desires, reading the Bhagavad Gita is a good reminder.
As has been said, The Work, is a good tool. Someone on the forums (sorry, I don't remember the name) suggested the book The Presence Process, which I am reading end enjoying, so thanks.

And the yoga practices of course.
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sivasambho

USA
136 Posts

Posted - Sep 13 2012 :  4:23:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by karl

quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish

Karl,
is that like Bandler and Grinder "Re-Framing"?



It's not exactly reframing, maybe a tiny bit, it's adjusting the sub modalities, and the final part is a mixture of Time Line Therapy and Swish pattern, not as effective but can be attempted with reasonable success without the aid of a practitioner. It's better for phobias, because they are specific. Often trauma and other more complex negative patterns have multiple connections, however 'Trying' seems to have a specific thing which he is repeating which is not unlike a phobia, so this might just get rid of the heavy duty stuff. Not unlike clearing the blockages using Pranayama.

Reframing is difficult to do without face to face contact as it is conversational therapy and requires extensive rapport to be built as it can get quite heated. Had some success constructing elegant reframes over the Internet, but without feedback and calibration it's impossible to see if it is having a positive effect.

Just for your interest (if you haven't gone to sleep by now). Timeline therapy is very similar to Pranayama, meditation and I suppose, astral travel with some conversational reframing and linguistics. Works very well. Probably 90% of people have instant benefit. The calibration is very important as the success is not really in their replies, much more in how the entire body has changed. Some of them look so different that I wish I had taken a before and after photo, it's as if their image has changed in a fundamental way. Hard to explain that.

You can try the sub modality adjustment yourself. Get a picture of something you like up on your imaginary screen, notice where it is and what size. Do the same with something you really dislike. It works much better with people that Objects. Swap the two images over. Reverse all the differences of each picture. Often with strong dislikes/likes of people there is lots of internal resistance to the move and they pop back to there previous places.



Hi Karl,

Your post is very informational. Just got this book "phantoms in the brain" yet to read it but it resonates very well to your point that "body has changed and the psyche has to come to terms with it". This guy from harvard I think has done many experiments with a phantom arm (that is a non existent arm lost in an accident) where the pain is still felt and the ways he has resolved seems very simple. Similarly phantom emotions could be let go, I am hoping :)

It is easier said than done. I once had a conversation with a psychologist in getting a referall for a good counsellor with yoga background. She said oh to deal with "emotional garbage"? yes you goto this person..... :) I knew emotions mean a lot to us but didnt know that the doctors call them garbage right in front of us. I caught hold of her hand and asked are you sure emotions are that bad? She hugged me tight and became emotional too but didnt have an answer for me. When did divine beings say this is garbage that is useful, its all precious. Well is it? :)

Edited by - sivasambho on Sep 13 2012 4:58:20 PM
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Trying

USA
12 Posts

Posted - Sep 23 2012 :  10:24:53 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Got away from meditating and did a bunch of hypnosis. Time is the great leveler. Back to meditation as of today.
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