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 Jnana Yoga/Self-Inquiry - Advaita (Non-Duality)
 My insights on duality...
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Christi

United Kingdom
4512 Posts

Posted - Sep 06 2021 :  5:39:19 PM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 16 2021 :  12:25:33 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Christi,

The book you recommend arrived and I'm working my way through it at an appropriate pace... when it first came I read the first 17 pages and the following couple of days experienced aching in the back of the neck and upper shoulders if you know what I am eluding to with this? ... so limited to 3 pages a day...

Got it out of my bedside drawer tonight to have a read, and as soon as I did, my bedside lamp started flickering and sizzling, and my pooch also started going nuts demanding my attention... night off maybe... as soon as I put it back and closed the drawer, both calmed down...

I did video it... not for self gratification, more rather, because I know how it may sound...

I truly am very grateful for your notice and subsequent guidance...

In love yogabuzz

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Christi

United Kingdom
4512 Posts

Posted - Sep 16 2021 :  12:52:25 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Yogabuzz,

Yes, the pain in the back of the neck and shoulders can happen. It is a symptom of energetic purification usually related to the throat chakra and heart chakra, and you did the right thing by limiting how much you read each day. When spiritual purification is strong, even reading spiritual books has to be self-paced.

The electrical issues are related to this. Energetic radiance affecting things in the surroundings. It can be annoying sometimes, like when data drives get wiped. Again, a good sign to self-pace.

No need to post the video. Better to let it go into silence. More things will happen and those can also be released into silence. Eventually, everything can be.


Christi

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Dogboy

USA
2293 Posts

Posted - Sep 16 2021 :  03:00:04 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
No need to post the video. Better to let it go into silence. More things will happen and those can also be released into silence. Eventually, everything can be.


Your Samyama practice builds this spiritual muscle, and may assist in releasing excesses in your system.
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 21 2021 :  10:29:17 PM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Ay, there's the rub...

Hi Christi (Om and blessings to you my friend)

I have been abstinent of all practices for (I would say) around two years now, not because they became too much...

I allowed a seed of doubt to grow...

And I am unsure of how to return to practice.

I started to question the fairness of what may have been radiating from me to those who spent time near me; I'm a very nice person, so I'm not talking about anything directly arising from actions, spoken or physical, its just I noticed...

I really want to say more, but I don't know if it's appropriate?

I want to spill my heart out to find guidance...

Christi?
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 21 2021 :  11:51:55 PM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Christi,

Apologies, I haven't completed reading the book yet,
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 22 2021 :  12:11:48 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Actually, I think my ultimate descension came about because, I became scared of the level of freedom I experienced, and it wasn't really this, I became scared that it may lead me to a place where I had nothing, and then would/could leave me, and then I would be with nothing, I don't know if any of this makes sense?
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Christi

United Kingdom
4512 Posts

Posted - Sep 22 2021 :  01:51:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Yogabuzz,

As we are awakening, our own ecstatic radiance can affect others around us, and we have to manage that for them sometimes. Especially when it is people we share a house with. So self-pacing can include pacing our own practices for others.

You are free to share anything you want here in these forums.

And yes, at a certain stage on the path, it can feel as if we will lose everything and be left with nothing. All out beliefs, ideas, memories, forms of identification and so on are falling away very rapidly in this stage. This can cause fear to arise, and can cause some people to fall off the path for a while. Eventually it is all seen through, and we see that there was nothing to be afraid of. It only looked as if there was, from a certain perspective. It would be similar to a caterpillar becoming frightened when its cocoon starts to break open. It does not know yet that it now has wings and can fly, and no longer needs the cocoon.


Christi
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interpaul

USA
551 Posts

Posted - Sep 22 2021 :  07:55:21 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply


quote:
I really want to say more, but I don't know if it's appropriate?


If not here, where? I would certainly welcome your open explorations of these genuine struggles. I imagine others can share and learn from your experiences.
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 23 2021 :  12:15:15 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Christi,

Ommmmmm

I am grateful beyond words for your guidance; how do I be 'there' and not effect those around me? I questioned if what they were experiencing, was an unconscious desire from myself, for the world to be a better place, and I guess an intolerance to control, of them being controlled by unconsciousness?
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 23 2021 :  12:17:07 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Om Interpaul,

Thank you brother

But I have no idea where to begin...
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Christi

United Kingdom
4512 Posts

Posted - Sep 23 2021 :  01:19:02 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Yogabuzz108

Hi Christi,

Ommmmmm

I am grateful beyond words for your guidance; how do I be 'there' and not effect those around me? I questioned if what they were experiencing, was an unconscious desire from myself, for the world to be a better place, and I guess an intolerance to control, of them being controlled by unconsciousness?



Hi Yogabuzz,

It is a part of self-pacing. Gradually we learn how to control our own ecstatic radiance, when necessary. It can take time, so it is good to develop patience.


Christi
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 23 2021 :  01:32:05 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
At the time my breathing had reduced to once every 90 seconds to two minutes, even during light activity, ie. Inhalation and exhalation only occurred every minute or two depending, and during meditation would cease indefinitely, and my knowledge of what happens when the breath reduces to such an extent, added to my doubt of my perception of my experience, I was leading a outwardly normal life, ie. Nobody knew what was happening... internally
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Christi

United Kingdom
4512 Posts

Posted - Sep 23 2021 :  09:02:33 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Yogabuzz,

Yes, the breath can become very slow and very shallow as we practice and also in our daily life. This is nothing to be concerned about. It happens as rising prana in the body partially replaces the need for oxygen.

And yes, during meditation the breath can suspend altogether. It can suspend in three different ways: Completely out (bahir kumbhaka), completely in (antar kumbhaka) and suspended in the middle (kevala kumbhaka).

These things can be disturbing, especially if we are not used to them and we do not understand the process that is happening in the body.


You may find this lesson useful:

Lesson 378 - How Does Pranayama Awaken Kundalini?


"The reason you do not feel oxygen-deprived during natural kumbhaka (breath suspension) is because the metabolism is low during deep meditation, and the awakening inner prana is also compensating. It will be best to stay with the procedure of the practice we are doing. Be careful about deliberately extending breath suspension. It can lead to excessive purification and imbalance, with recovery time being necessary. It can occur in a delayed reaction after excessive breath suspension, days or weeks later. In this way, going too fast can slow us down, as we overdo, wait to recover, overdo, wait to recover, etc. It is much faster (and more comfortable) to keep a steady sustainable pace that does not lead to the excesses. Therefore, it is very important to keep a moderate well-rounded practice routine, balanced with good daily activity for integrating it all into everyday living. Much more fun that way too.

Yes, with practices we become possessed by the force of divine evolution longing to express through us. It is natural. For anyone on the path of yoga it becomes obvious." [Yogani]



It does sound as if you have been pushing forwards a bit too fast with the spiritual practices that you have been doing over the years, and that this has lead you to an unstable place. If that is the case, then it could be wise to take a few steps back for a while. There is no rush, and enlightenment is not a race. It will come when the time is right.

If the amount of energy in your body is disturbing you and others around you, then be sure to do plenty of grounding work each day. This is described in lesson 69:

Lesson 69 - Kundalini Symptoms, Imbalances and Remedies


And be sure to spend plenty of time in nature, eat healthy nutritious food, drink plenty of water etc. Also make sure that you have an active social life and are interacting with others on a regular basis.

Sometimes people do fly too fast towards the sun, and it sounds as if that may have happened in your case. But luckily it does not take much to come back to centre and find a more stable and sustainable path that will work over the long term.


Christi
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  12:56:35 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Om Christi,

Before I speak further...

I feel that I should state at this point, that my journey was not though the system of AYP, nor in any way a result of the program detailed within the lessons within the AYP system; I would have very much liked to have found it earlier on in my journey...

I am unknowing of anyone else who has spoken more openly, and with such eloquent simplicity, on the (all too often over complicated and) secretive subject(ive) process of union than Yogani, I am grateful beyond words for the articulation this being is able to, and continues to convey, share,
and expand, upon the (deepest) subject of everything.
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  01:07:10 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Christi,

I know all about kumbuka... and I wasn't worried about the absence of breath, rather because of my over development of Vijnanamaya (which occurred due to needing, or rather, 'wanting' (ego, I know...)) answers to what was happening to me, I was/am awere of the (chemical) release that occurs from the physical reflection (gland) of Agya, which further facilitated me to indulge in doubt, about if my perception of reality was accurate, because I didn't know if I had become lost in intoxication....
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  01:09:26 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
You are completely right Christi, I messed up big time somewhere, problem is I have no idea how I allowed this to happen, at the time I was only practicing ten minutes spinal breathing followed by ten minutes deep meditation, which was a fraction of what I used to practice pre awakening, but even this small amount of practice (evidently) elevated me so rapidly that I lost myself into intoxication, and paid a price beyond anything
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  01:35:16 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
I can go into the ins and outs of all the siddis that manifested and how I learned to let them go, I can talk about how when I was practicing yoga everything in my life reflected what was happening internally, like alchemy, I used to purify metals brought at the five nines purity and purified them further though material zoning, and mercury distillation in order to grow a semiconductor material that is able to see in the darkness... and how practicing kriya yoga (rotating around the sun inside of me) resulted in my signature being etched onto name plate of a space craft that is now orbiting the sun
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  01:47:39 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
I'm happy for you to delete all these posts, as I understand why,
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Yogabuzz108

United Kingdom
75 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  01:52:14 AM  Show Profile  Get a Link to this Reply
I just want to be with God, and I have know idea where I went so wrong, and it is very much a mistake that I would not
like to make again my friend, please

Edited by - Yogabuzz108 on Sep 28 2021 08:15:22 AM
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Christi

United Kingdom
4512 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  09:34:01 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
I feel that I should state at this point, that my journey was not though the system of AYP, nor in any way a result of the program detailed within the lessons within the AYP system; I would have very much liked to have found it earlier on in my journey...


Hi Yogabuzz,

It does sound as if you have been engaging in spiritual practices that have taken you forwards faster than is healthy. Everyone can only cope with a certain rate of purification, and if things happen too quickly it can become disorientating and overwhelming. It also sounds as if you may be very sensitive to spiritual practices in general.

With the spiritual path, there is really no rush. We have our whole life. So, if someone has reached a state of imbalance, and it is all feeling quite overwhelming, then they can simply take some time out to rest and recover. Go for plenty of long walks. Spend time in nature. Drink more water than usual, eat healthy food and so on. The subtle nervous system recovers over time and everything will settle down. Then when you are ready, you can pick up practices again, starting out gradually and building up slowly.

You may find this lesson helpful:

Lesson 367 - Suggestions for Over-Sensitive Meditators


And these lesson additions on the AYP Plus site:


Addition 367.6 - Sensitivity vs. Progress with Different Styles of Meditation

Addition 367.8 - Breath Meditation Slowing Overload Down. Now what?

Addition 367.11 - For Sensitive Meditators: When to Switch from Mantra to Breath as Object

Addition 367.12 - A Case of Sensitivity


Everything will be all right. God will be there when we are ready.


Christi
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Blanche

USA
873 Posts

Posted - Sep 28 2021 :  1:32:40 PM  Show Profile  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Yogabuzz,

I second Christi: It is great that you got so far, and the way forward is to integrate - and keep your fast car on the road! Becoming aware of the bigger reality is great - and we still have to function in this world. Full awakening does not isolate or ignore any aspect, but it integrates them all.

However, the change of perspective can be disorienting. Better keep the spiritual practices to a bare minimum (such as only 10 minutes of meditation), and keep up with your dharma (purpose in life) be that school, work, family, friends. In the end, our entire life becomes a spiritual practice - and everything deserves our attention. And if things become too hard, ask for help from the people around you.

Act wisely, and this too shall pass.

The guru is in you.

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