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Sebastian2012
Australia
2 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2021 : 9:19:05 PM
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Hi,
For the past month or so I’ve been having problems with what I perceive to be entities interfering with my heart, throat and 3rd eye chakras, but particularly the heart. I will first outline my kundalini history and then the problem, any help is greatly appreciated.
I first felt my kundalini rising in 2018, pretty much immediately after trying Mantra meditation for the first time. The symptoms were mild at first, just gentle rising of light, colour and energy up and around the spine, causing the whole body to feel blissful and energised. I loved the sensations and took them to be indicative of a spiritual awakening, and so I intensified my practices over time, increasing my meditation times to up to four hours a day.
For about a year I enjoyed feelings of bliss and increased energy and a reduction of neurotic and depressive thoughts.
Something changed in 2019 during a retreat when the energy became much more concentrated in the head. It feels as though Kundalini shifted her dwelling place inside me from the navel area to Ajna Chakra. I actually had a vision of a serpent biting me on the 3rd eye and from then on the energy became concentrated much more in the head causing a lot of ringing, and I experienced less bliss and more of what felt like some sort of static interference, in the form of ringing in the ears and head.
Also, I should mention that at that time my focus of awareness during the mantra meditation was on the crown and involved quite a lot of mental straining to open it up, as I thought this was the fast-track to enlightenment. But what actually happened was that I seemed to break through to a place that was not entirely spiritual, i.e. not filled with light and angels, but some other kind of occult realm where I encountered wizards and football-hooligan -type-people and other things that told me that I had taken a wrong turn somewhere.
When I found the AYP website in early 2020, I got the message that trying for a break-through crown opening was asking for trouble and so I stopped and followed the AYP method, settling on spinal breathing, followed by mantra meditation (though not the AYP mantra) and finishing with Samyama.
The spinal breathing balanced the energy straight away and I felt I was continuing to make good progress. I slowly reduced my meditation times to those recommended by Yogani and, I think due to stopping the crown-focussing and the spinal breathing, the energy has really calmed down a lot and the ‘stillness’ aspect has come more to the fore. I have noticed that something is happening now where the eyes sort of drift towards the edges of the sockets, apart from each other (like the reverse of being cross-eyed) and it opens up a lot more space inside which in turn seems to encourage more purifying of the energies at the base of the spine…things start welling up from down below.
But because of this I can never get ‘really still’ because the moment there is silent awareness and expanding presence inside, then straight away there is an answering surge of energy coming up, usually followed by some spasms or kriyas, so the body never gets all that still and there is a lot of uncontrollable movement.
I keep waiting for the time when my kundalini process will develop to beyond the subtle/astral realm. I hope that when it reaches the causal plain then the energy will become more refined and less raw and disturbing, but it hasn’t happened yet.
And this brings me to the reason for this post: About a month ago while doing a home retreat and meditating lots, I saw these very unsettling presences come from outside and enter into my body. Once they got inside they basically wreaked havoc on my subtle body from the heart chakra up to the head.
I felt an entity (or entities, not sure) lodge itself in my back and it hasn’t gone away. I don’t know what it wants or whether it is good or evil or otherwise, but its energy is extremely uncomfortable and disruptive. It basically feels like a two-year-old throwing a fit inside me from my chest to my head and it is very, very strong. It’s just this chaotic, relentless bashing around inside and I can still feel this contracted space in the middle of my back where it entered. Since it happened, I’ve had really light sleep and some very dark dreams…and the worst thing is that I just can’t get rid of it and I don’t know what it is.
I’ve tried a number of things like flooding my body with light, smudging the house with sage and salt and asking for divine assistance, but nothing has worked. If I focus very intently on it, then it just shifts itself to another part of my body. It’s deeply disturbing and unsettling and when I sit down to meditate I often feel that I am getting ‘re-infected’ and that this crazy energy is getting stronger inside. Perhaps I have a hole somewhere in my subtle body where these things are getting in? Probably around the heart chakra, since that’s where I felt it enter.
I don’t like the idea that by meditating I can open myself up to things that can do me psychological and physical harm and so I think it’s best to stop all practices for a while and see if these energies ‘go away.’
One explanation for what is happening to me, which I would prefer to believe, is that these entities are my own energies, maybe some repressed aggression, which I may have released during meditation (as part of purification) and which is still attached to me and not willing to let go…and so it has come back and re-attached itself. I would prefer to believe this than to believe that I have become ‘infected’ with some evil presence.
If anybody has any wisdom and/or experience on this topic and is able to give me some advice on how I should proceed with this, that would be greatly appreciated.
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
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zamolxes
Romania
93 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2021 : 08:46:53 AM
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Hello S, my advice would be to treat anything as obstructions. Focusing on them or stressing about would just enforce them. Treat the discomfort as any other sensation that arises in meditation. Better to pace down the energetic practices and focus on inner silence. Also ground yourself, spend more time in nature. Be them entities or energies, same as illnesses, if you are healthy in body and mind and don't mind them they will leave or dissolve, since you are not feeding them energy. |
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Sebastian2012
Australia
2 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2021 : 5:27:24 PM
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Thanks Maheswari and zamolxes.
I will take my symptoms as signs of overdoing and self pace and try to regard the sensations objectively. |
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