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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2018 : 06:04:54 AM
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I have never felt satisfied with the level of service to others that I manage to do one way or another - mostly in the form of giving. I feel there is so much more I could do, so much more I could give but the right opportunities do not seem arise. I was thinking about this last night and bouncing it off a friend. His reaction was - you’re kidding and he started enumerating examples of what I do and I answered - yeah but all that is effortless. And that struck a chord - service should require some effort, some sacrifice on one’s part, right? I give because I have more than I need , so where is the value in that? I understand there may be value for the person in need but no merit for me. Then I thought some more on Yogani’s words of effortless service - if the giving, the service is effortless, then there is no “feel good” backlash - I don’t feel particularly good. In fact I mostly feel embarrassed when thanked Could this be why I feel like I am not doing enough? Nah... I have so much to give and I am not doing enough. In any case why do we feel that service must require some sacrifice on one’s part?
Any thoughts on this?
Sey
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2018 : 07:40:37 AM
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Dear Sey,
As long as we see ourselves as the doer, we could think we are not doing enough. On the other side we could think that we did very well. There is duality.
In wholeness or unity 'it is what it is', we do not 'feel good' about our actions or opposite, 'not good', we feel peaceful, balanced, joyful or neutral in actions. At the same time however, there could be deep pain for the suffering in this world.
If there is a doer we could see for instance that it is more easy to give then to receive, or opposite. We could think/feel we are not worthy, to receive gratefulness from others, to receive love, a gift, service etc. or there is the feeling we would have to do more, give more, we are not doing enough etc. There is a habit to divide our actions in positive or negative. This what we learned in society. We have to offer ourselves, like Jesus did, but even that did not take away the suffering.
If we see these thoughts clearly, we could release them in silence.
Love to you
PS Effortless: achieved with admirable ease....
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uniath
Finland
30 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2018 : 09:42:22 AM
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Shouldn't service be effortless? Shouldn't the whole of life be effortless?
There was a time, which was not so long ago, when I simply got tired of efforting. It began to feel so unnatural, like swimming upstream.
The more samyama has creeped into daily life, the more effortless it has come. Everything flows through our consciousness, and the more we learn to release in stillness, the more ease and grace there is. I bet those saints don't do much efforting when they share their compassionate presence, and I would call that service
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2018 : 2:54:31 PM
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whatever your action food or worship whatever the gift that you give to another whatever you vow to the work of the spirit o son of kunti lay these also as offerings before me
chapter 9 the gita |
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Dogboy
USA
2293 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2018 : 3:16:37 PM
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We are our own worse critics, and may be blind to how we influence and affect others with simple acts of kindness and help. If you are dissatisfied then use that to "up your game". Just like our practice, easily favor helping others and treat the "feel good backlash" as scenery. Sacrificing is not a prerequisite, the love you give to others and yourself need not have strings attached to it.
You always start engaging threads! |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2018 : 10:17:39 PM
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My guess is that it is part religion and part being a woman that you feel like it's not enough. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2018 : 06:09:09 AM
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Sey, you are blessed.
Everything is easy for That, isn't it? The strife belongs to the limited I.
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2018 : 11:51:49 AM
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Thank you all for your interesting input @Charliedog - yes, we could drop it into silence. I just thought it would make a good forum topic @Uniath - indeed the whole of life should be effortless.... hmmm... or should it? @Dogboy & Blue - @ Lalow - that is a very insightful statement. You are probably very right.
I feel embarrassed when thanked because I am very aware that “I” had nothing to do with it (and hence not deserving of thanks)
Sey |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2018 : 2:01:21 PM
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quote: Originally posted by SeySorciere I feel embarrassed when thanked because I am very aware that “I” had nothing to do with it (and hence not deserving of thanks)
What about releasing the thanks into silence? Isn't That where the gratitude is due?
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2018 : 11:34:56 PM
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How about you are welcome?! It's normal. Normal stuff. |
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uniath
Finland
30 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 05:36:24 AM
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quote: Originally posted by SeySorciere @Uniath - indeed the whole of life should be effortless.... hmmm... or should it?
Perhaps should is a bit inaccurate word. You know, free will and all that. And there's of course value in contrast. I guess it's more about possibilities. This reminds me of a Rumi's poem:
“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.” -Rumi |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 06:18:57 AM
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Maybe for some service to others is always effortless. As the experience of unity stabilizes and clarifies, any service to others becomes clearly a service to ourselves. Until then, there is always some spot that takes effort – there are places where more purification is needed, where we can open more, where we can embody deeper the unity. Even a very advanced spiritual master might experience moments of effort, and this moments mark the progress on the path. Paramahansa Yogananda had some inner struggle to gift his master the umbrella that he bought for himself when he traveled to England. Sri Yukteswar singled out the umbrella among the many gift, and thanked Yogananada for it, looking him in the eyes. The master recognized and appreciated the effort.
Blanche |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 09:55:48 AM
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quote: Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
What about releasing the thanks into silence? Isn't That where the gratitude is due?
I love this. Yes.
Sey |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 10:06:12 AM
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quote: Originally posted by Blanche
Maybe for some service to others is always effortless. As the experience of unity stabilizes and clarifies, any service to others becomes clearly a service to ourselves. Until then, there is always some spot that takes effort – there are places where more purification is needed, where we can open more, where we can embody deeper the unity. Even a very advanced spiritual master might experience moments of effort, and this moments mark the progress on the path. Paramahansa Yogananda had some inner struggle to gift his master the umbrella that he bought for himself when he traveled to England. Sri Yukteswar singled out the umbrella among the many gift, and thanked Yogananada for it, looking him in the eyes. The master recognized and appreciated the effort.
Blanche
Exactly. When I say whatever I do / give is effortless, this is not because I am so advanced that all service is effortless to me but rather that I am only doing what is effortless to me - hence “not enough” and a feeling of dissatisfaction with myself. It’s just that in the eyes of another, it appears a lot.
What are your feelings about service / giving, ladies & gents?
Sey |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2018 : 08:28:06 AM
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The feeling of dissatisfaction is an impulse to push forward, to go further. As we have more resources, we can take up a bigger load - and serve us and the collective.
The feeling of dissatisfaction is also a mark of some resistance to what is here now. We can do only our best, giving the retrains of our resources (time, energy, abilities) and the situation. Our actions are not judged by an ideal perfect standard, but by the best possible in the context of a situation. If one has no restrains of time, energy, etc., perfect service can be realized.
Service includes you, too, not only others. You are not different than others, and deserve just as much service. Service to the collective takes precedent over service to yourself only if there is a bigger benefit.
The perspective we adopt and the way we deal with our problems make a difference in the quality of our life and our service.
Some of this makes little sense, because is there a "I"? "Others"? "A doer"? Does anything happen? ...
In the end, the proof is in the pudding.
Blanche |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2018 : 03:10:28 AM
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Thank you, Blanche - that is what I try to tell myself every now and again when the feeling of dissatisfaction arises but I am also asking if that is not just another “easy way out” , pacifying myself that it is ok when I should be going out there, joining a group or something and actually DO something concrete.
Sey |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2018 : 04:11:37 AM
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quote: Originally posted by SeySorciere I should be going out there, joining a group or something and actually DO something concrete.
It is fine to have that thought, isn't it? Release into silence and the opportunity will come when the time is right.
And the impulse to beat yourself up... release that into silence too |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2018 : 2:27:20 PM
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quote: Originally posted by SeySorciere
Thank you, Blanche - that is what I try to tell myself every now and again when the feeling of dissatisfaction arises but I am also asking if that is not just another “easy way out” , pacifying myself that it is ok when I should be going out there, joining a group or something and actually DO something concrete.
Sey
Thank you Sey for your authentic sharing as always. This topic is an ongoing theme for reflection,contemplation here as well.
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2018 : 06:55:10 AM
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Sey |
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Herb
Canada
111 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2018 : 10:37:02 AM
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My feeling is that the more love there is behind the giving/service, the more effortless it is. So if your friend is right(and knowing you I think he is) that you give of yourself and your resouces a lot, and you say that is was effortless, then I think that you are doing it right. But as Dogboy pointed out, your feelings of not giving enough can be a positive motivator to keep on doing it(giving).
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Dogboy
USA
2293 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2018 : 4:47:10 PM
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Hey Herb! |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2018 : 10:15:33 PM
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I work in a service job. It'll certainly test you. Lol. I do like volunteering for a few hours every now and then. It feels really good, but it's not really getting into it. I'm sure people know what I mean. |
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