I am writing this down because i feel it should be shared and not left out of memory..
A couple of months back.. My spiritual practices reached a very intense point.. I was living the sufi dream with as much spiritual scenery as you'd want or wish for.. It all ended after i got really sick.. But during in between i was left with the understanding and recognition of one experience...
During my practice.. Especially repeating the great name of god.. I reached a point where i could not hear nor recognise any thought or sound or vision but as god/awareness.. During this episode my eyes would swell up with tears every night.. The love and joy was overwhelming.. I realized god/awareness and he was my beloved.. The love of love.. The heart of it.. And it was none other but me.. No speck of me was other than him. So i started hugging myself out of love for myself. For god/awareness.
This is our nature. Allah/love/awareness
I am writing this because i want to keep this good memory. Life and inner tendencies tend to make the person go up and down. This is why i am writing this memory. This realization.
I hug myself too, and advocate the same when I lead meditations in my massage class. Cross the arms, stack the elbows loosely on top of each other, and touch the posterior side of the shoulders (deltoids, infraspinatus, scapular/acromial area, etc.) with full hands. It's a great compression pose of self-love, as you have so poetically reported.