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- Ecstatic Reflex during Sex (Audio)
Date: Wed Jul 28, 2004 10:46pm
It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive,
as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What
is tantra yoga?"
Q: Thank you very much for your
remarkably lucid writings on kechari. It is of tremendous value to me. I
have been in stage 1 Kechari for many years. Truth is I never actually knew
how to get to stage 2, since I did not know about the 'side approach'. My
tongue seems nearly long enough to get to stage 2 soon and I feel ready. If
I had not read your message (main lesson #108), it
would have been delayed for some years, since I was going through the
I have a question for you if I may. As I approach sexual
orgasm, (during ordinary sexual activity not in any way approached as yogic)
I find the instinct to roll my eyes upwards and push the tongue back and up
as in Kechari. I have followed this instinct on many occasions. I do not
know how to describe the affect well, but it seems to integrate the Ajna and
the sexual impulse. It seems as if the sexual urges become more powerful
under Ajna control as the result of the practice. It is fulfilling, intense
Have you any comments on the practice?
A: I am very happy to hear that the kechari discussions have been helpful to
you. This practice has been shrouded in mystery for so long, and barely
heard of by so many yogis and yoginis, even though it is a key factor in the
development of ecstatic conductivity in the body. It is time to bring
kechari out of the closet, so we can intelligently follow the natural
impulses that are coming up in so many of us these days.
1 kechari carries great power, because the sensitive nerves in the septum
come down to the roof of the mouth right where the hard and soft palates
meet. That is where the bottom of the edge of the nasal septum is. Putting
the tip of the tongue there is like closing an energy switch. As soon as
some ecstatic conductivity is rising in our nervous system, the pleasure of
putting the tongue there is quite obvious. Of course, when kechari evolves
to stage 2, going behind the soft palate and up, our tongue is directly
touching the "secret spot" on the septum (see tantra lesson
#34), and the long term results of that are beyond
description, though we try our best to explain it. Yoga will make ecstatic
poets out of all of us yet!
The tendency to raise the eyes and roll
the tongue back during sexual activity and orgasm is a natural reflex that
occurs when ecstatic energy is coursing through the body. It is an automatic
yoga. The energy moving in sex is the same energy we are cultivating in
advanced yoga practices. The fact that many (even those not doing yoga)
experience this reflex during sex is a testament to the latent ecstatic
conductivity that exists in everyone. Promoting it systematically through
yoga practices is not only an important part of how we move toward
enlightenment, it also unravels the mystery of how sexual energy functions
in us on every level.
Yes, the most effective control and inner
stimulation of sexual energy in the nervous system is exercised through the
ajna (third eye), as you are finding. Kechari (rolled back tongue) is part
of this, and a close bedfellow of sambhavi (eyes rolled up toward a slightly
furrowed center brow). Spinal breathing and many of the other techniques are
for developing the third eye to root connection. You are experiencing
indications of this important connection in the ecstatic reflex during your
I suggest you take this reflex of the eyes and
tongue as an indicator of the possibility for cultivating the experience of
ongoing ecstatic conductivity in your nervous system. Such an experience
does not end with orgasm. It just keeps going around the clock. The methods
of yoga aim to promote this, as discussed throughout the main and tantra
The overall process is pretty simple, really. Cultivate
inner silence in daily deep meditation. Then overlay the stimulation of
ecstatic conductivity with spinal breathing, mudras (including sambhavi and
kechari), bandhas, siddhasana, samyama, chin pump, spinal bastrika, tantric
sexual methods, and so on. When blissful inner silence and ecstatic
conductivity rise and meet in us, the result is an endless lovemaking on the
cellular level. Then we bubble over into the ecstatic bliss and outpouring
divine love that is the natural fruition of human evolution. No more
struggle. Just pure joy through all circumstances in life. That is what we
are, and it unfolds as we go through the process of purification and opening
of our nervous system.
Once we get to that stage, a simple lifting of
the eyes at any time will send us into a reverie of ecstatic bliss. All of
life is divine to one who is constantly in love and in lovemaking.
Regarding your question on practice during sex, it is suggested you see how
long you can stay in front of orgasm in a lovemaking or masturbation mode.
In other words, let that state of ecstatic conductivity that draws your eyes
up and tongue back continue for some time without taking it to orgasm. There
are techniques to help with this. Consider reviewing the tantra lessons on
holdback, blocking, and the
count method. As we develop familiarity and skill at
staying in front of orgasm, we find that the ecstatic conductivity in our
nervous system will stay with us much longer during the day. If we add daily
meditation, spinal breathing, and other practices, then we will be setting
the stage for ecstatic bliss to take up permanent residence. It's well worth
No doubt you are doing many of these things already, so
please regard all of this as a reminder. I wish you all success on your
chosen spiritual path.
The guru is in you.
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Note: For instructions on
kechari mudra, see the Asanas,
Mudras and Bandas book.
instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga
practices and the enlightenment process, see the
AYP Tantra book.
For detailed instructions on building a
daily practice routine with self-pacing, see the
Eight Limbs of Yoga Book. Also see AYP Plus.