Note: For the complete lessons, with additions, see the AYP Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living Books.

Lesson 5 - Blocking male ejaculation – Putting on the training wheels

From: Yogani
Date: Sun Feb 1, 2004 4:52pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the AdvancedYogaPractices main group web archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why This Discussion?" It is also recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive. The first lesson is, "What is tantra?"


In the last lesson we talked about the holdback method. It is pretty straightforward. There is only one catch to it. Many men have little or no control over their orgasm. And in the heat of the moment they don't want any control. The semen wants to go, and that is it. Sex is a mad dash for that, and everything else tends to fall by the wayside.

So, how do we get around this? The key is in altering the habit of the inner neurology of orgasm. We do this by giving the male neurology a familiarity with a different way of traveling the road of stimulation. In doing so, we find a different experience of pleasure, the experience of divine ecstasy coming up through the nervous system. In time, divine ecstasy becomes more charming than the jerking and lurching of genital orgasm, and we become motivated to spend more time in the habit of preorgasmic stimulation. We then have the choice – preorgasmic tantric sex or genital orgasm. Maybe in a single session we'd like to have both, beginning with a long session of the former and finally ending with the latter. Once in a while, why not? That is having the cake and eating it too. Of course, be doing that too often (like more than every week or two) and the cake will be eating up your yoga.

In principle, the holdback method alone can provide the necessary training for the man. We will talk about the woman's evolving role in tantric sex in the next lesson. She is very important, obviously. But first, we have to deliver her a motivated tantric man. Without that, there won't be much tantric sex going on. That is why we are focusing on the man first.

Is the holdback method enough for training the man's orgasmic response? Maybe for some it is, especially if they are experienced and have been working seriously on extending their orgasm already. But for many, the holdback method will not be enough.

We will now talk about blocking male ejaculation. It is an ancient tantric method with a long history of success. It is simple enough to do.

When orgasm is about to come on, the man puts one or two fingers (usually index and/or middle finger) at the perineum, presses inward and forward against the pubic bone, and blocks the urethra channel that the semen is about to come through. The orgasm still occurs, but the semen is blocked from leaving the body. If the man lets go too soon, the semen can still escape. If he holds the block for a minute or two and then lets go, the semen will be reabsorbed and none will escape.

Blocking can be done by reaching to the perineum from either the front or the back. In tantric lovemaking with a partner, the man can reach from the back and block his ejaculation if he has slipped and gone too far with stimulation. He still has orgasm and will be done with sex for a while, but he has blocked the loss of semen from his orgasm.

Beyond the mechanics of stopping the exit of semen from the body, the blocking method has several other aspects related to training the orgasmic response of the man.

First, having an orgasm with the ejaculation blocked is not nearly as pleasurable as having one with a free flow of semen. If a man's bhakti brings him to engage in blocking most of his ejaculations, then there will also be a gradual shift in his motivation from wanting to go to orgasm to wanting to stay in front of it. So, blocking, besides stopping semen from leaving, provides an incentive for a man to stay in front of orgasm. Why go there if it is going to be less pleasurable than continuing in preorgasmic sex and climbing that stairway to heaven with our lover?

Second, given what has just been said, blocking is not something that will be needed forever. It is a voluntary, temporary measure, like having training wheels on a bicycle. Aren't you glad to hear that? Bicycles with training wheels are not much fun at all. We want to get them off as soon as possible. So, we have an additional incentive to train our orgasmic response, and reduce our reliance on the training wheels. Once we learn to stay preorgasmic in sex for long periods, we won't need blocking very often. By the time we get to that stage, having genital orgasm may be part of sex only after an hour or two in union, or maybe we will forget about it completely.

Forget about orgasm? Yes, the experiences in long tantric sex can become so profound that we can forget about orgasm completely. Hard to believe, but it is true. Tantric sex can be that good. And it is good advanced yoga practice too! Over time, the importance of the genital orgasm will fade to the background. We can still have it if we want it, but it will become less attractive as our divine ecstasy expands beyond it. Sex will still be good, but in a different way. Sex will become an expression of our overall rising enlightenment, rather than the obsessive needful thing it has been in the past.

Now we should talk about male masturbation.

It was mentioned that blocking can be done from the front or the back. If a man is masturbating, the blocking can come in from the front. Given the fact that the total semen expelled in masturbation in the lifetime of an average man exceeds the amount expelled in lovemaking manyfold, we should really talk about it.

Masturbation is the greatest expeller of semen for many men. Masturbation also happens to be an advantageous time to be training the male orgasm. It is a good time to practice the equivalent of the holdback method, holding back before orgasm over and over again, and permanently building the staying power to a high level. It is also a good time to practice blocking when orgasm comes. So, all the elements are there. Stimulation, pauses, and blocking as necessary. Only the partner is missing. Interestingly, this is not far from what we are doing in the traditional methods of mulabandha, siddhasana, and other advanced yoga practices – stimulating our sexual energy systematically up through our nervous system.

So, is tantric masturbation a kind of yoga practice? Yes, it can be as long as it remains preorgasmic. It is also an ideal self-training ground for a man to prepare for tantric sex with a partner.

None of this is to promote excessive sexual activity, or more masturbation than is already going on. It is just to add an awareness of tantric methods that can be incorporated into what we are already doing in our sex life. If we do so intelligently, dramatic changes in our experience of sex can be achieved, and our overall advanced yoga practices will be enhanced significantly.

The guru is in you.

Note:  For detailed instructions on the blocking method method in relation to the broad scope of yoga practices and the enlightenment process, see the AYP Tantra book.

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