For some time now, I stop just before an orgasm, either I stop my husband or if I am on my own, I stop myself. Then I continue, all the time in sambhavi and mulabandha and pulling the energy up my spine to my head. In the beginning after about 3 times, I finally could not control it any more, and I did have an orgasm. But it would not be very draining, since I would have moved most of the energy up. I have got that perfected now, and for the last 2 months I don't need to stop. I will not have an orgasm unless I want one, which I have not had one in a while. Now, any time I want I can just sit in mulbandha and sambhavi and arouse the sexual energy up and have a full body orgasm, or at least I think that's what it is.

Here is my question. What am I achieving with this? All this energy that I am generating and pulling up, what use is it to me, if any?

A: It's a really good question. It shows your forward movement!

Unlike most of our other practices, we engage in tantric sexual methods to eventually move beyond them. The pre-orgasmic techniques of tantric sex help develop and ultimately dissolve into full time whole body ecstatic conductivity. An expert in tantric sexual practices is someone who does not need them anymore! It then becomes a matter of working mainly with sitting practices and other aspects in daily living -- automatic whole body mudra and outpouring of divine love, making every minute of our life a service to the divine flow coming through us. By that time, what we have called "orgasm" has become that ongoing divine process, reaching far beyond our loins and body to encompass the cosmos. It is an unending feeling of glory and grace that is far beyond genital orgasm.

Of course, we can't start with this in the beginning with our tantric sex. It is a progression. Most of us want to delve into expanding the scope of our sexual experience. Beyond that, it is a process of neurobiological transformation going on within us, and this is where tantra becomes yoga. It is a dance that is going on all through the AYP Tantra book, where we fully accommodate sexual principles and practices, and then point higher through sitting practices. It is the same process of going higher you have been discovering on your own. Bravo!

You are right to be wondering "what am I achieving with this?" It is an advanced view you are having - thinking about the yogic aspect more than the pleasure aspect. There is the misconception that tantric practice will continue indefinitely in sexual mode. Not so. It is about taking our normal sexual tendencies, whatever they may be, and using them to go higher. And then we get to a point where we say, "Okay, I can move on now." It is not about the pleasure anymore, even though we are getting more of it than we could imagine. It is about our spiritual evolution. You are doing that. So now your sitting practices, and life in general, are receiving that boost of brahmacharya cultivated in tantric practice. By "brahmacharya," we do not mean celibacy. In AYP, we define brahmacharya to be "preservation and cultivation of sexual energy." That is the purpose of all tantric sexual methods, whether in partner or solo relations, or in siddhasana, mulabandha/asvini, sambhavi, kechari, spinal breathing, etc. Deep meditation is at the foundation of the whole thing, of course -- in stillness -- pure bliss consciousness.

We always have the option for regular reproductive sex if desired. We do not lose our sexual ability. Rather, we have expanded it to encompass much more - ecstatic bliss and outpouring divine love! Our sexuality evolves to include a much wider range of experience.

So you are on the right track. The free flow of your sexuality has been a blessing, and now you are moving permanently higher with it. It should be mentioned that getting stuck in the drama of sex is a primary cause of whole body ecstatic conductivity being delayed -- constipation of sexual energy in the nervous system. That is why we have tantric methods, to approach and work through obstructions to our ecstatic nature, as necessary. In AYP, we work on it from every practical angle, in our sitting practices and through our sexual lifestyle, whatever it may be. It is all about purification and opening. As our nervous system opens and becomes an increasingly pure vehicle for our vast inner potential, we become a channel for infinite joy and progress in this world. 

Carry on!

The guru is in you.