AYP Lesson 373 - Fear as a Cause of Under-Sensitivity to Deep Meditation

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Lesson 373 - Fear as a Cause of Under-Sensitivity to Deep Meditation (Audio)

From: Yogani
Date: November 25, 2009

New Visitors: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why This Discussion?"

Q: It has recently come into my attention that a tendency I have to bounce between various meditation techniques may actually be an ingrained fear of letting go, expressing as over-analyzing by the mind instead of favoring the simple and easy procedure of meditation. I think there may be some truth in it. There is a wall created by our minds around that fear.

As suggested, I read Lesson 366 on under-sensitivity to deep meditation, and the part on the "finer points" of the technique of meditation hit home with me. There can be a reluctance to let go and let the mantra (or other object of meditation) do its thing. It is a subliminal fear of letting go, of the unknown, of losing control. It can be quite a mental structure, one that we even are not clearly aware of sometimes. It is really the fear of losing control!

There is indeed a subtle but powerful gap between the awake/conscious/controlling/mind state and the vast unknown/uncontrollable realm of inner silence. And that gap is fear. Now, I want to cross it! But I have to do some soul searching. I think with patience and loving kindness toward myself it will happen. It is really a matter of letting go.

Can you comment on this?

A: I am not sure that soul searching will help much. Certainly not during deep meditation. It is just more diversion by the mind. Favoring any sort of analysis during meditation instead of the easy procedure is the culprit. It is all about letting go into a procedure we can trust. We will be bouncing from method to method, sabotaging each method in its turn with the mind, until we can allow ourselves to let go into a tried and true procedure. If we are experiencing worrisome thoughts (fear) during meditation, we can regard them as any other thought that may be coming up, and easily favor the mantra at whatever level of clarity or fuzziness we find ourselves in the mind.

The essence of the practice is patience, persistence and, yes, loving kindness toward ourselves. The further we go with our meditation practice, the more of these qualities we will find naturally arising from within.

Regardless of what we might think is happening in AYP deep meditation, if we are following the procedure, the corresponding results will be there, and we learn to let go by degrees. This is what "baking in the mantra" means. As the mantra bakes in, the qualities of pure bliss consciousness flower out. That applies to any effective method of meditation, as we are refining the object over time. This is the refinement of attention in stillness, letting it go, coming to reside in abiding inner silence. It takes time.

The inner workings of deep meditation, or enlightenment itself, can never be "understood," because they are beyond the realm of the mind. It is the condition of abiding inner silence, ecstatic bliss, outpouring divine love, unity, and "I don't know." We can't have enlightenment without "I don't know." In time, we get used to being the unknowable behind all that is known.

On the other hand, the procedure of deep meditation can be understood as well as we can understand any practical tool, because it works. It is simple cause and effect, if the procedure is followed. Very scientific. We do a known activity to produce a known result entering the unknown, awakening the infinite divine unknowing within us. This does not lead us to oblivion, or to a disconnected state. The positive changes in our perception and conduct in everyday life are unmistakable. Those we can know here and now. This is why enlightenment has been called a paradox. And why Jesus said, "You must lose your life to save it."

Whatever seems ominous about this sacred awakening is a fabrication in the mind. How could absolute eternal freedom in our present life be ominous? It is up to each of us to solve the riddle for ourselves. The easiest way is to settle in and practice twice each day like brushing teeth. Excessive analysis is clearly an obstacle in this kind of endeavor. So the suggestion is to just practice according to the procedure and enjoy the results in daily living. Nothing more to it than that. Less is more!

It is not about what the procedure of deep meditation can do for us. It is about what we can do to honor the procedure. In doing so, we are honoring ourselves. It's going to be alright.

The guru is in you.