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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 30 2006 : 4:43:53 PM
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What was that one moment in your life when you stopped and said.. "I need to find God?"... what made that first door open?
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2006 : 8:15:05 PM
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For me it was just a dumb, but persistant scientific way of going about things. I had a feeling that there was somehow more to life, but I couldn't figure out how to connect with it.
I tried finding God because I had tried everything else and wasn't truly happy. So I decided to give it my all as an experiment to see what happened. Actually I subsequently moved away from the quest several times until I realized it was the only thing that had any effect on my life.
Then began a new quest to find the best method of finding God. Christianity, Esoteric Buddhism, trying to find him without religion, SRF, AYP. So far this is an excellent path! |
Edited by - Etherfish on Mar 30 2006 8:18:26 PM |
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Frank-in-SanDiego
USA
363 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2006 : 10:52:43 PM
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Hari Om
~~~~~~~~
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
What was that one moment in your life when you stopped and said.. "I need to find God?"...
... HE found me.
agnir satyam rtam brhat
Frank in San-Diego
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2006 : 11:59:15 PM
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| I never wanted to find God. As a matter of fact religion always annoyed me and I had no interest whatsoever in going to services. On the other hand a sense of the interconnectedness of all things through the natural world has always captivated me. My feeling has been that "God" was always a cheap man made imitation of that great mystery and that teh idea of all of this worship that peopel seem to get involved in seems entirely besides the point from my perspective. On the other hand, learning to quiet oneself and listen makes a whole lot of sense |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 12:27:38 AM
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I remember being pretty young about 5 or 6 years old and asking my mum what was before God? How did we get here, what happens when we die? etc. When I was 16, my dad introduced me to meditation; it was a more a new age kind of thing back then, I was interested in spirituality but more in a self exploration kind of way. What really got my attention was much later on when kundalini introduced herself, it was something I could not turn away from, my spiritual search became my life's primary focus instead of being in the background.
I am more like Victor with the word God. To me, I felt part of the universe, that was more my sense of God. I believed in a natural life intelligence that was behind all things, I saw it operate too often in my life to deny.
It's funny I notice myself using the past-tense as I describe this, I still have this perspective today, but now my connection to it all is my question.
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 12:55:12 AM
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I'm not endorsing drug use in any way, but: The first time I did Ecstacy (at a Friday the 13th costume party). I remember saying to myself "I need to find a way to feel like this without drugs". To me, it was a sneak preview of what was to come.
Then a spiritual crisis followed, with lots of self-sabotage and struggle. A *very* slow spiritual growth started happening in the midst of the chaos. Then I received an unsolicited email, inviting me to the AYP website. It was all uphill from there  |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 01:08:21 AM
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| well since you mention drugs, I have to admit that psychedelics played a pretty large role in my seeking perspectives beyond our usual accepted reality. I no longer take them ecxept for very very rare occasions but I honor them greatly as being a tool for awakening |
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Richard
United Kingdom
857 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 04:49:44 AM
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Likewise Victor,
RICHARD |
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NagoyaSea
424 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 11:16:32 AM
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Anthem,
Your whole post resonated with me. Especially:
"my spiritual search became my life's primary focus instead of being in the background."
I think it must have been nice to have grown up in a house where your parents were meditating. And beautiful that your dad introduced you to it! I regret having taken a break in mediation while raising my children. I hope I don't make that mistake in my next go-round.
Light and Love,
Kathy
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Frank-in-SanDiego
USA
363 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 9:13:15 PM
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Hari Om
~~~~~~~~
quote:
Originally posted by Victor
As a matter of fact religion always annoyed me
Hello VIctor,
I kinda found religion to get in the way.. I do not associate God/spirit with the religion seen today... is it a bad thing, no.
Yet is it doing its job of bringing one to the realization that
'I am THAT'...
agnir satyam rtam brhat
Frank in San-Diego
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2006 : 9:26:40 PM
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I always had a strong curiosity, and a sense that there was something 'more' available around the corner. There were never enough, or adequate, answers to my questions.
It was in that spirit that I was led to try meditation. My first meditation opened the door.
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2006 : 9:08:24 PM
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Interesting topic Shanti,
I remember in my High School years, particularly at Mennonite summer camp one year sitting in a circle around the camp fire, singing "... ask and ..., seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened up to you..." It was from a New Testament verse. I felt teary when I sang it. I wanted something indefinable.
This week I'm reading Elaine Pagles' book "the Gnostic Gospels." She says that one orthodox writer criticized the Gnostics who, using that same verse, were on a constant search, never finding. The orthodox knew when they had found "the truth" and they stuck with it.
I think I'm more like the Gnostics in that respect, always seeking something more, never finding "it."
Bewell
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Edited by - bewell on Apr 02 2006 9:45:17 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2006 : 11:04:20 PM
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Bewell, My ancestors on my dad's side were German mennonites who fled russia and came to the midwest US for religious freedom.
My maternal grandfather was the eldest son of a buddhist monk in japan. He had to be a monk, die, or leave the country. He stowed away on a freighter to the US at 17. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Apr 02 2006 11:07:08 PM |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2006 : 08:15:15 AM
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| Etherfish, Thanks for sharing that. I'm curious, when and where did your parents meet? Bewell |
Edited by - bewell on Apr 03 2006 08:18:07 AM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2006 : 7:43:02 PM
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| In Oregon, 1940's. My dad was a conscientious objector during WWII and worked in an alternative service camp to fight forest fires. My mom (now deceased) was not required to stay in the internment camp for the japanese with her parents. so they met when my dad was on leave from the camp. They both loved music. |
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maya_1347
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2006 : 12:44:08 PM
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I remember I was very young when I saw a brutal scene on TV by accident for the first time. It was too hard to believe and accept it. Then I look at the sky full of stars, and a full moon there was an ocean of silence, joy and infinity connecting me to somewhere else. It was like promising me love and peace.
Still I do not know what it was. I have experienced the same feeling in many different places and times. That was the first time I believed that there is something huge – way bigger than the earth life - exists.
Love and light
Maryam
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2006 : 12:46:59 PM
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Brutality and trauma can actually produce an epiphany sometimes, though they are not usually to be recommended as a path, for obvious reasons.
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Edited by - david_obsidian on Apr 04 2006 12:47:51 PM |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2006 : 1:32:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maya_1347
I remember I was very young when I saw a brutal scene on TV by accident for the first time. It was too hard to believe and accept it. Then I look at the sky full of stars, and a full moon there was an ocean of silence, joy and infinity connecting me to somewhere else. It was like promising me love and peace.
Still I do not know what it was. I have experienced the same feeling in many different places and times. That was the first time I believed that there is something huge – way bigger than the earth life - exists.
Love and light
Maryam
Maryam - I recently had an experience similar to this. I watched a brilliant movie, at the end of which was a brutal and terrifying scene. I knew it was coming throughout the entire film, but had no idea how horrifying it would be. As I watched the scene, my heart opened wide and wider, and I had the most amazing ecstatic experience. I felt closer to something than I'd felt in a long time, and it has been with me ever since, although not with its original intensity.
Openings come in strange ways.
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2006 : 9:51:50 PM
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"..the eldest son of a buddhist monk in japan. He had to be a monk, die, or leave the country."
Etherfish, Could you add a little context to that statement? Could observant monks have sons? Why the need to be a monk or die? |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2006 : 08:28:03 AM
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| I'm not sure. his dad was some kind of big shot monk and that was the requirement. Might have to do with not making your family look bad or something. |
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shantaya
9 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2006 : 1:38:38 PM
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| I've been a seeker since I was a little girl. I was raised nominally protestant, but not really practicing. I remember feeling a connection to the broad depth of the ocean and the vastness of the night sky. I often laid awake wondering who God was and felt an almost physical longing to know. I even fantasized about becoming a nun! I spent my early adulthood trying to find "truth" in the traditional way - through church. I joined the Catholic Church (by then married, no cloister for me!), then revisited mainstream Protestantism, then conservative, evangelical Christianity. Still, nothing rang true or really satisfied. There always seemed to be a layer of separation there, and even just plain old illogic. If God is so loving, then why does he exclude/damn those who he didn't happen to call to the church? But I really didn't know where else to look. I had a rather miraculous experience with immediate answered prayer, outside of the church experience, so I sensed that there really WAS a great power out there and I had access to it somehow, but I had no idea how. So my seeking was kind of on hold. Meanwhile the big 5-oh was rapidly approaching and I was feeling fat and frumpy, so I started working out. Did spinning to lose weight, weights to tone and......yoga for flexibility. My wonderful "gym yoga" teacher sent me to a yoga studio where I was exposed to meditation. After the first or second attempt at meditaion, I had some quite wonderful and intense experiences. Then "out of nowhere" I received an invitation to join AYP, so here I am (or AYAM) |
Edited by - shantaya on Apr 18 2006 1:41:30 PM |
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ranger
USA
45 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2006 : 12:17:43 AM
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I think there were a lot of "moments" that I didn't appreciate at the time, but these two came immediately to mind.
1) I'm about 11 years old, riding bycycles with friends along a dry creek bed in summer in San Jose. Under eucaliptus (sp?) trees, hot, and crickets really loud. No hint of water in the creek. First clear experience of deep, "is this all there is," angst. I was going to church on Sundays with my family, but that didn't seem like any kind of solution; it was part of the problem.
2) My father worked in Europe for two years in my middle teenage years. I don't think I precisely conceived of myself as an athiest, but I basically wanted nothing to do with God, and as far as I could see, God wanted nothing to do with me. Still, we visited a lot of churches and cathedrals, and I used to love to go to the "Lady Chapel," and light a candle. I still wanted nothing to do with "The Lawd Almighty," but I could talk to Mary, I liked her company.
I guess that four decades later I can see the main features of my current spiritual aspirations in those two vignettes.
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gosay
9 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2006 : 8:32:51 PM
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well i was around 7 or 8 , when i went to holidays to my village, and there i met this person who was a brahmakumari(a religious path) who used to read some pages from thier books, and he asked me some questions like where is hell and heaven, what happens when one die, why does the godess potraied with 10 or more hands?.....i gave some silly answers but, he answered me with a simple logic, that i could understand crytal clear. this is when i have started my spirutual journey....though in that age i dint knew why,where,how to head. later there was a great depression and spirutual crashdown for about 10 yrs, then i happend to buy a spirutual magazine that exposed me to healing and mantras when i was doing my graduation. and when i happend to my spirutual teacher, Mr.K.B.Gopalkrishnan. my life changed, the answers i was searching for, the peace that i wanted, i pain that was there in my life....all stareted to openen up....may be when i left him......i understood.....Why,how to head towards god. i take this opportunity to thank him again.
Life Under Construction---www.gosay.tk---
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2006 : 3:22:40 PM
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| I fought with an entity...and didn't know the forces were with me all my life... |
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Babaly
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2006 : 10:20:52 PM
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Hi everyone... great topic... thanks for all your answers.
For me, when I was a child I would speak to God and God would speak back.
Growing up in Ireland, a mostly catholic country, I had parents who were mixed - my Mum was prodestant (sp?) - my Dad catholic. I got it at an early age that religion was mute/ man made for me. I was into the direct experience.
I would often have experiences where I was walking along the main street and forget which person I was, which body was mine. It seemed to not make any difference.
When I was about 9 or 10, I was lying in bed falling asleep when this huge ball of white light came in my room through the door and engulfed me. I was terrified. I couldn't move or speak or open my mouth. My eyes where open. I was very much awake. I was paralysed. After about 20 minutes or so I finally was able to get up and I ran downstairs to my sister.
After that I always felt so close to God. I always talked etc.,
Then when I turned 13, I became vegetarian and a friend taught me how to meditate though I really didn't start seriously unitl I was about 18.
I too thought of becoming a nun/monk etc., but that was not my karma.
My one burning ambition is to be able to hold unto those divine experiences 24/7. Aim high right:-)?
Babaly |
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What opened the first door?
