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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 11 2010 : 3:50:38 PM
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Just finished reading this last night. The concept of the inward intention of i am has made a lot of difference in my practices. Previously I was hammering away at the surface with I AM, over and over again, and getting spotty results. Now with inward intention, i am slices right through and I'm just gone right away. It's so much more reliable that I've self paced my meditation times and removed the other practices until I re-establish some stability with just plain meditation.
Another great part about the book is its treatment of bhakti. Bhakti has been a nebulous concept for me, even after reading all the lessons on it, and the bhakti and karma book. Seeing it personified in a character connected the dots for me. And the book really emphasizes that desire is the MOST important thing. More important than meditation. Desire is the fuel, meditation is just a good vehicle.
It's not only about mustering the requisite desire to habitually meditate twice a day. That's what I was doing. It's also about infusing each practice session with active desire. Is my intention to form a habit of twice daily meditation and just impartially wait to see if heaven happens upon me? Or is my intention to find heaven on earth and meditation is the best place to look? It makes all the difference.
I've been practicing regularly for 8 months, and so I probably have been ripe for this shift. It's a case of which came first the meditation or the bhakti. But after reading The Secrets of Wilder I feel like I've been pushing my car this whole time, and I finally just got to a gas station. |
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krcqimpro1
India
329 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2010 : 08:39:57 AM
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Hi JDH,
Interesting ! Could you pl. elaborate what you mean by "inward intention" of "i am"? I read the book sometime ago, but don't seem to recall.
Krish |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2010 : 10:50:03 AM
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It's explained in some depth when John Wilder goes to the church and finds Christi Jensen, then learns to meditate with i am for the first time. And then again later when John's doing the lectures toward the end. i am is not just a word to him, it is the name of god, given to him by Christi. The actual name doesn't matter so much, but the intention of god does matter.
Instead of "saying" I AM outwardly, "intend" i am inwardly. Less is more, which is why small i am is used instead of big I AM. Words are bolted to the surface, but intentions go deep. John Wilder's intention is to find god, at all costs. The mantra naturally goes fuzzy and melts away, while the intention of god remains. Inward meaning into you, yourself, your body, your spirit, whatever inward means to you in the moment. Intending meaning the mantra is not a word that you say, but a purpose that you intend. Intending god inwardly through the mantra.
This way, each repetition of the mantra is infused with desire for god, bhakti. Favoring the mantra is favoring the intention of god. Losing the mantra and coming back to it is coming back to the intention of god, over and over again. |
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krcqimpro1
India
329 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2010 : 11:15:39 AM
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Thanks, JDH. That is beautifully explained!
Krish |
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chit-ananda51
India
127 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2011 : 1:26:24 PM
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| That was wonderfully put JDH! The intention to dive deeper into meditation to realize SivaSakti. Hope my post will bring this to forefront in forum posts and get some recognition of its soul content.. May all beings find happiness and bliss within! |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2011 : 10:20:01 PM
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thanks for this JDH. I think I read this a while ago, but I re-read and it helped my practises a lot.
josh |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2011 : 7:52:03 PM
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I finished "The Secrets of Wilder" a couple of days ago. I thought it was a wonderful use of fiction to illustrate the meditation practices and their unfolding potential. But it was an uncomfortable read for me, because I identified far too strongly with the character of Devi. I am she, and she is my mother. There are dark and painful aspects to a God Quest that the story doesn't address and, by not addressing them, the story leaves gates open for the reader to wander through to re-live past or present pain. That is not neccessarily a bad thing, because the wandering has taught me much.
Devi is my mother. My mother married a man who, upon returning from Vietnam, embarked on a God Quest. He used his GI-Bill funds and went to Seminary when I was a pre-schooler. And while this was absolutely the right decision for him, it carried a huge cost. Parishioners often tend to view a pastor's family as extensions of the pastor himself, and they impose their views of how the pastor should think and conduct himself upon the entire family. In the story, Devi IS an extension of the John character. She's given herself completely over to John and his God Quest, and she's with him, supporting him, every step of the way. That is what people expect of a pastor's wife. But what if she thinks differently? What if she disagrees or doesn't want to participate in something? I want the Devi character to know that John supports her in whatever decision she makes and will defend her against the inevitable criticism that follows. I have no doubts that the John character would have done exactly that but, as the story doesn't address it, the gate is left open for the reader to wander through.
The other dark aspect of the God Quest is the behavior of the followers. The story addresses this somewhat in describing the voracious appetite people have for a piece of the devine. They nearly kill John at the funeral trying to get some of his blessing. In real life, that appetite exends to every aspect of the pastor's life including the pastor's family. People are naturally curious about their leaders and often do not rest until every aspect of their leaders' lives has been investigated and thoroughly discussed. They walk into the parsonage without knocking. They peer into bedroom windows. They rummage through the refridgerator looking for stuff they think the pastor is not supposed to be consuming (wine, beer). And, if they need the pastor for counseling and are unwilling to approach the pastor or wait until he's available, they will approach the pastor's wife or children with their problems. In the story, it's John who needs protection. In my experience, it's the wife and kids who need protection.
I am Devi. I too married my first and only boyfriend at a very young age. There has been only one man in my life and, at times, I struggle with that choice. The struggle is not due to unhappiness in my marraige (I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather spend the rest of my days with.), but because I wall myself off from other men for fear I will come to love them and want to share myself with them. The thought that I will never share my love with anyone else chafes a bit, as does the curiosity about what someone else might be like. In the book, Devi never questions her choice. The relationship is never rocky. Then John leaves her in a ball of light, and she doesn't move on. Years later, she still belongs to John. I think I would have liked the ending better if Devi had actually re-married or had a boyfriend, and John still sends his love to her in the form of butterflies, even in the presence of someone else. John loves Devi because she is Devi, and not because she belongs to John.
The "Secrets of Wilder" is the most thought-provoking book I've read in years. And I hope the readers of this review do not take the thoughts I've shared as criticisms of the book or the author. (However, you're free to criticise me, since I'm inflicting these ruminations on you.  .) I am grateful for the open gates in the story, because they have let me wander through my past in a safe way in search of understanding. And I think that understanding is a good first step to letting go of the hurt. I am also trying to convey to anyone who is embarking on their own God Quest that there is a cost. And I am begging you present and future God Questers to do everything in your power to make sure that you are the only one who pays it. I hope that by putting my experiences out in a public forum, I have helped someone. Writing about it has surely helped me.
--Liz
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The Secrets of Wilder
