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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 15 2009 : 4:19:55 PM
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A woman attending the Satsang in Dublin this summer....a sister in spirit  .....she took me to the Hill of Tara. There was a holy well there...on a slope on the hill....with the lovliest green growth...and the clearest water I have ever witnessed. It is called the Healers Well. It is a sacred place.....and we went there first......to pay respect to that which is present. The little gate...she opened it...and sitting in silence I felt the wordless....peace....from the little cavelike space.....
Then we walked the hill. Mostly in silence....
Two days before this journey....I awoke singing. A tune was coming while still sleeping....I had to get up and write it down. I played it on my flute......and on impulse named it the Tara Call (I had read the leaflet on Tara the night before). I brought the flute to Tara.....and when walking the hills there I stopped a couple of times to play the tune.....the wind was deciding where to stand while playing....if the sound disappeared I had to move with the wind. And like that it was spread in all directions.....All through the walk the hands were humming like crazy. Whatever it is with this land......something here is responding to it.
While we were there she got a call from a landlord that owns a cottage there (she told me "I am getting this cottage for someone...but I have no idea who it is"). To make a long story short...we went to look at it....and upon entering it I had a vision of myself standing by the kitchen sink cutting carrots. The landlord and his wife were lovely people.....
Two hours after my father died....while I was on the retreat in Glendalough....the landlord texted.....he wanted me to call him regarding the cottage.....
I sat there...looking at the text........it was a very very quiet moment.....too big to grasp......so releasing it in silence is always the best option...... About an hour later the wordless meaning surfaced inside...... so I responded. And that is when I moved to Ireland...
It is like stepping into thin air. At the same time...... the love has thickened. Although I have friends in Ireland too......I am alone in this. There is nothing out there to lean on....every time I come close to leaning on something or someone else......it is always taken from me. Over the years I have seen the workings of this. It may look like a curse.....but it is instead a blessing. Since I am leaning inwards instead.
I am only allowed that kind of outer support when I am firmly established in that which has made me know that I am already taken. When I am where I am....there is plenty of outer support. When I am stubborn.....I am left to roast in my own fat. Very wise.....life is. So....this way of being.....cooked..... is painful.....but it is very productive. Or rather.....it deproduces the associations with all that is not True....with the hardness inside. So one is cooked soft...
As it turned out later.....someone else is renting the cottage......someone that could move in right away. But.....the move to Ireland happened in those minutes while waiting to make that call. I will live in Dublin when I come....Tara is beautiful....but too far away from Dublin. But....it was the hill of Tara that got me moving. And the open heart of the woman that took me there....I am very grateful to her.
Just as with the inner promting to leave my marriage 2 years ago....after mom died....just so....after dad died....this inner promting means to leave Norway...my friends and family.....and the mountains I am so attached to. My daughters are wonderful about it. I spoke to them separately this week..... before resigning my job yesterday. I had to ask them if they wer ok with it. Although there is some sadness......they are also thrilled....they see many new possibilities opening up. I have made it clear to them that I will include them in my life here (there and everywhere). I inherited some money after my parents....so I will see to it that they can visit as often as they like. Both are busy going to University now...so mostly we will facebook, email and call. And they will absolutely adore Dublin...that much I know
As with the divorce....I never decided this. But the possibility has been open for a while. However...it was the last thing on my mind when going to Dublin this summer. It just came about of itself......a sequel of happenings that together blended into this important meaning that I know nothing about......other than the fact that it is True. So I am left choiceless....since I am already taken by it.
This is always...such a challenge here. I say yes....because I smell what is true.....and since I love truth...there is no other option. But then I have to integrate everything....and this is not so easy. Fear comes...resistance comes.....and it is only when I embrace it and stay open that it passes of itself.
Also.....it is as if people somtimes cut themselves being close to me. It is the worst feeling in the heart.....to cause pain.....and not know it. I have much to learn regarding this......because what is happening now...the change of living.....I cannot say "yes" and "no" according to "likes" and "dislikes".....neither mine or others.....it doesn't work that way. But neither must I always speak.
Silence...simplicity....patience..... very often works much better. So I pray that I will favour the gentleness whenever it is possible.
Living in Ireland will not work harmoniously unless I surrender fully to that which I am in essence. Not from 8 to 4....but 24/7. Every loss previously experienced......led to that same truth. I never really lost anything.....it just felt like it at the time.
So it is with this too.
I cannot make any plans..... "thinking about how to live in Ireland" is a waste of energy. Again and again these thoughts are released. It is not about my survival. On the contrary.....living in Ireland will again and again dissolve what needs to be dissolved. And for some reason that is not known to me.....this dissolving will happen faster in Ireland.....
It will not be easy.....but maybe not so difficult either It all depends on the level of surrender......the level of courage in letting go.....
So the fear that comes.....it may stay until it leaves. It is very understandable that it is here......it is a big change on all levels. The love however.... will whisper in its ear....as all is already well.
The thickening...of the love....is always telling the same truth. Going through my parents apartment these past two weeks....witnessing all those pictures....memories.....adventures.....belongings.....it has brought the childhood years into view. And one day.....while playing mammas grand piano....the one I first learned to play on.....I saw that I have always been already taken....by that of which I can say nothing. The Love.....I have always loved it. I have always belonged to it....long ago this happened. As a very young child I worshipped it in many different ways.....I had forgotten this. As a child.....the longing was there. I had forgotten this too. I was born with it......the love and the longing....and the painful gap between the appearant two.
So....the thickening of the love.....it is wordlessly speaking the same over and over. And the meaning is visible.....as love.....in the Shine.
So now all will unfold as it always does. My only task is to.....untask.....to stay open. This is the whole of what the work is.....it is only this.
Who knows what will happen in Ireland. It is not taken that it is Satsangs and healings. I may sell flowers.....I may wash dishes.....I may play the flute.....who knows. The focus here must only be the openness.....so that all may flow through unhindered.
I used to ponder......how to always "flow with the river of life". But the perspective is different now.....I do not want life....I do not shun it either....
I am just still.
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2009 : 4:31:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
I used to ponder......how to always "flow with the river of life". But the perspective is different now.....I do not want life....I do not shun it either....
I am just still.
So true... so very true Katrine... Not always easy to follow.. but the only way it can ever be.
Wish you all the best with your move Katrine.
You are in my prayers. _/\_ |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2009 : 5:11:51 PM
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All the best and much Love!!
We are all coming home together..
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2009 : 5:44:58 PM
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But WHY are you moving to Ireland?
Ha ha just kidding. If we look for reasons, our mind will pick the biggest reason it can assemble, based upon our preferences. But later we will see little connections and reasons that couldn't possibly be true because they would dis-allow the big one our mind picked first.
But if we never pick any of them to be the one true reason, then all the little ones remain valid, and they can contradict each other without anyone objecting. |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 02:04:15 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
I cannot make any plans..... "thinking about how to live in Ireland" is a waste of energy.
Hi Katrine, this resonates with me very much right now. Surrender is beginning to happen here, although I'm not rooted in it yet. Trying to know how to live, micromanaging my life, etc. is something I've been letting go of recently. So your words are timely and inspiring.
It reminds me a bit of something Mooji says about 5 min. into this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg3o...ture=channel
He basically says (paraphrasing): "Don't know how to live. Don't know how to love. Don't know anything at all and go out, and something will shine from you."
Beautiful post.
With Love
cosmic |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 10:33:05 AM
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Wishing you the best in this transition Katrine! All will work out the way it is meant to....but of course you already know this
Love,
Carson  |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 11:31:01 AM
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Hi cosmic
quote:
Hi Katrine, this resonates with me very much right now. Surrender is beginning to happen here, although I'm not rooted in it yet. Trying to know how to live, micromanaging my life, etc. is something I've been letting go of recently.
That is beautiful cosmic
It is like this newbornness....this preciousness....it is like a child that you are nursing......you are caring for it by letting go...so that there is space for it to strengthen itself. Very beautiful this is - i am very happy for you
From my post:
quote:
So the fear that comes.....it may stay until it leaves. It is very understandable that it is here......it is a big change on all levels. The love however.... will whisper in its ear....as all is already well.
The fear dissolved two days ago. I simply didn't pay any attention to it.....it could be there...unminded. And when it left.....the Joy surfaced of itself. So now there is constant smiling inside. And outside too..... like a grinning for no reason at all. I probably look like an idiot  but couldn't mind less 
I resigned my other job today...the one at the clinic where I host the AYP meditation courses. I have waited until it felt right to speak to them....and today i walked in there.....and all three owners were getting ready for a meeting...so I asked to speak to them for a few minutes. I told them everything.....and also said that I would like to be connected to the clinic even though leaving for Ireland. See...they love the AYP meditation courses. And so do the clients. A new course is starting on Monday.....and the owners said that if i wanted to come now and then...for a few days in the future...they would be happy for me to host AYP meditation courses at the clinic whenever I am in Norway. So that's brilliant....then that possibility is at least open - and i am very grateful....I mean...even 3 courses a year would be good. And if I keep in touch with them...they will inform people of the possibility of attending a course. So I really do nothing....
quote:
Although I have friends in Ireland too......I am alone in this.
I have to laugh at myself 
Yes - I am alone in this.....but I am so not alone! It is as if everything "out there".....it simply.....the very fact of it is all supportive. Interacting with people.....they are all this loving fact. I can't help myself.....I have gotten to know at least three people on the street today.....just because there is so much joy......for no reason at all!
All is already well.
This fact has nothing to do with what happens here or in Ireland.
So that's that
I can move now....everything will unfold harmoniously....it does so here in Norway.....and will continue to do so in Ireland. Friends and everything.
Thanks for the Mooji video cosmic.....I love Mooji
Much love to you...with joy
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 11:50:52 AM
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Hi Carson
quote:
Wishing you the best in this transition Katrine!
Thank you Carson
quote:
All will work out the way it is meant to....but of course you already know this
Love,
Carson
No...that's the thing....I don't know it......but I don't mind the not knowing. It is as if it matters not one way or the other. In fact...there is great Joy in the not minding the outcome......the knowing takes up so much space....so when it is let go of.....there is room for grinning instead
Thanks again - and much love to ya
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:18:49 PM
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Shanti, Yonatan and Ether
A bit late - but a big thank you for the warm support
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:29:57 PM
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Hi Katrine....
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
quote:
All will work out the way it is meant to....but of course you already know this
No...that's the thing....I don't know it......but I don't mind the not knowing. It is as if it matters not one way or the other. In fact...there is great Joy in the not minding the outcome......the knowing takes up so much space....so when it is let go of.....there is room for grinning instead
You don't know in "details" how things will work out, but things are always as they are meant to be (even if that means things are tough), which means that things will always work out for the best. Hence it not mattering one way or the other. I didn't mean that things will work out for you to move to Ireland but that if/when you ARE to move to Ireland it will work out. Maybe easily, maybe not. But whatever does happen it will be what is meant to happen. So you may not know HOW things will work out, but I think you know that they WILL.....whatever that entails. Grin away
Love,
Carson |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:42:31 PM
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*LOL*......*LOL*
Aye Carson |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:45:44 PM
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PS
It's like.....the liberation is...that i am neither free nor bound
So...."for the best" or "not for the best"....has sort of just....evaporated
(will keep my mouth shut now ) |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:50:21 PM
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I think you could leave this sentence here:
quote:
It's like.....the liberation is...that i am neither free nor bound
at: It's like.....the liberation is....that i am.....
Love,
Carson
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Edited by - CarsonZi on Aug 20 2009 12:51:51 PM |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:52:38 PM
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grihastha
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:53:11 PM
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I'm really excited for you, Katrine.
Letting go, joyfully.
Predicting outcomes just leads us into the wasteland of disappointment. Go and play your flute on the green hills!
Emaho!!!
gri |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:55:24 PM
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EMAHO Grihasta
Thank you |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 11:09:28 PM
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Congratulations Katrine! I hope Ireland brings new openings.
love
A
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 3:43:27 PM
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Hi Andrew
Thank you
PS
You make it sound like I won the lottery *LOL*.....*LOL*.....
PPS
Poor Ireland....having to put up with me for more than two weeks at a time |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 4:37:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
PPS
Poor Ireland....having to put up with me for more than two weeks at a time
Love |
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2010 : 10:48:58 PM
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I Love Ireland!! |
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The Call
