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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 01:04:09 AM
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Hello everyone,
Just over a month ago, I had a breakthrough that I wish to share. I'll try not to be too long-winded.
First some back story...
Since my early pre-teen years, I've been a very introverted, passive, "nerd" type of person. Socially awkward, withdrawn, disconnected, "living in the head too much", etc. You know the type  . This has been a source of great suffering for me, and it led me into heavy depression and anxiety. A major part of the pain came from being easily dominated by others and being afraid to express myself to anyone. I felt like I was watching other people live amazing lives, while not knowing how to live myself. I wanted to reach out and participate in Life, but allowed my fears to stop me.
After about a decade of this hell, AYP comes along...
So I "fool around" with Deep Meditation for a few years. Some small positive changes come, some pleasurable scenery flies by. Then I commit to it. I start to feel better, but also feel stuck in my old introverted ways. The pain of knowing who I wish to be, but not knowing how to get there, builds and becomes a heavy burden.
The pain became too great, and I broke down. I cried and cried and told my parents everything that I'd been keeping inside for so long. It all came out. They were loving and supportive. It was liberating.
After 2 days of emotional hangover, I noticed something. I felt like a new person. I felt alive. The world was beautiful again. It was like a long storm had ended and the sun came out again. The introversion, anxiety, and fear have nearly disappeared. Self-expression is much easier. A little anxiety still comes up in social situations, but I am more willing to face it and not let it stop me from expressing.
It's a huge relief, because now I can drop the fake smile and optimism, and just be real with people. Life is opening up!
My deepest gratitude to Yogani for these wonderful practices. I can only imagine the direction my life would've gone without them. Thank you all for your support and compassion. You have touched me very deeply over the years. Many blessings to everyone.
Thanks for reading 
With Love!
cosmic |
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krcqimpro1
India
329 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 02:37:44 AM
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Hi Cosmic,
I am so happy for you, and also for the fact that such experiences shared, really go to consolidate our conviction that Yogani's method really works, and is not mumbo-jumbo.
Krish |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 11:13:52 AM
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Great to hear Cosmic! Thank you for sharing....I love reading stories like these!
Love,
Carson |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 11:45:55 AM
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Congratulations Cosmic!
Over the last years of practices, I have noticed greater freedom to act as well.
We go from a self-imposed mental prison of believing we are limited, incapable or inadequate to realizing that we are Unlimited Being. The number of ways that we can box ourselves in and suffer for it are pretty staggering but the freedom that comes from liberating ourselves in every aspect of our lives is so very enjoyable.
A great help with those pesky little thoughts that can creep in and cause suffering on a daily basis is Self Inquiry. A personal favourite method of mine is Byron Katie's book "Loving What Is" which helps us use a very simple procedure to let go of the thoughts that can cause fear, anxiety, stress, etc.
Best wishes to you for continued openings! |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 3:58:20 PM
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Thank you for sharing your story, Cosmic. I can totally relate to it at the moment!
I took a huge step recently also, when I decided to teach Byron Katie's The Work to my class. I cannot teach rubbish anylonger. I have to at least sneak in some Truth in the "normal teaching" or it feels as if I'll suffocate. And it's amazing how still the class becomes. The ears are like elephant ears suddenly and I feel such freedom and ease in finally daring to ACT on my knowing, not restricting myself according to norms or internal ideas of fear, inhibiting free expression from within.
Believe it or not, but the highest boss happened to attend one of the lessons and he was astonished and impressed! I got a text in the evening from my closest supervisor who had heard from him how impressed he was and she gave me cred! Truth touches everyone! I also showed the film "Peaceful Warrior" and a great discussion emanated from it about the Now and the impact of thoughts!!!
I think several throat chakra blockages just flew off me that night! I had a major release in the evening meditation.  As you say, cosmic... what freedom to drop the fake and get real!
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 4:00:13 PM
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Guys, your words are heartfelt. Thanks for your kind responses
quote:
Originally posted by krcqimpro1
I am so happy for you, and also for the fact that such experiences shared, really go to consolidate our conviction that Yogani's method really works, and is not mumbo-jumbo.
Thank you, Krish. I think mumbo-jumbo can survive for a very long time in secret. But not in an open system like this!
Carson, it's stories like yours that have inspired me to keep practicing when the doubts were high. Journey onward, brother
quote:
Originally posted by Anthem11
We go from a self-imposed mental prison of believing we are limited, incapable or inadequate to realizing that we are Unlimited Being. The number of ways that we can box ourselves in and suffer for it are pretty staggering but the freedom that comes from liberating ourselves in every aspect of our lives is so very enjoyable.
Your words resonate with me greatly, Anthem. We really are unlimited, aren't we? I wouldn't have believed that several months ago. Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll look into this, as I've dabbled with self inquiry, but don't really know where to start with it.
It's funny... after having this experience, instead of thinking "Yes, I've finally made it!", I was led to a place of "Yes, I've finally found the road!".
Thanks for your input and encouragement. Wishing you all a happy journey
Peace
cosmic |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2009 : 5:55:36 PM
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Hi emc, it's wonderful to hear about your experience with the class
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Truth touches everyone!
Yes it does! Well... eventually
Okay, so I got the book. There are so many strong recommendations on these forums that it's hard to ignore. I'm looking forward to reading through it! I'm still in the Introduction...
Did any of you find the need to self-pace after starting The Work?
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
With Love
cosmic |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2009 : 6:36:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by cosmic_troll
Did any of you find the need to self-pace after starting The Work?
Not to my knowledge.
It's a practice that changes as you change.
Enjoy Cosmic. I am really happy for you. |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2009 : 7:27:15 PM
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Thanks Shanti, I will enjoy . Your posts on The Work have planted a seed in my mind, so I thank you for that.
I'll let you all know how it goes.
Love,
cosmic |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2009 : 01:22:19 AM
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Yes, cosmic, everything can be too much on this journey, of course also self-inquiry - a very powerful spiritual yoga practice!
I have had to take breaks from The Work in periods because it boosts the energies/stillness too much sometimes! I think it depends on where you are on your journey and what issues are being released. Major issues releasing through The Work can open up the system so much that overload takes place!
Moderation is always a blessing! |
Edited by - emc on Mar 06 2009 04:24:29 AM |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2009 : 7:33:29 PM
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I'll keep your caution in mind, emc. Thanks for sharing your experience with it
I'll start off with a small "test run" to get a feel for it... It seems like a lot of work to write a whole page of stuff and go through each sentence.
I'm sure it'll be worth it though |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2009 : 09:34:34 AM
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Hi cosmic troll.I read your experiencies and feelings.Its similar than my own experience in the past.never quit from spiritual path,because you have found the real way to freedom!
Other people dont have the opportunity,but in your experience,suffering lead you to this yoga teachings.Thats the possitive face of bad experiences.
I wish you a good travel to your self!
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2009 : 10:59:00 PM
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Thank you for your kind words, Miguel. Don't worry, I've tasted too much freedom to quit from this path . It's good to have you here. Wishing you the best, my friend.
Peace
cosmic |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 7:49:32 PM
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| Thank you for sharing this story. I love it. |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 5:00:06 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lacinato
Thank you for sharing this story. I love it.
I am glad, my friend. Thanks for your support |
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Shattering the old self
