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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 05 2008 : 6:28:55 PM
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Hi Andrew
quote:
Is it passive? interesting choice of words. Passive for "i" ego, but action happens, it is witnessed.
No....not passive for "i"........
The peace is such that there is no movement....it is absolutely still.......action does not happen. I don't know what more to say......
quote:
What needs to be tolerated? Does it need to be tolerated or perhaps accepted/ surrendered to instead? One seems like a burden to be carried until it is put down, the other freedom.
Definitely surrendered to. And definitely freedom. I do not mean "tolerate" as some sort of hard effort or burden as you call it..... more as a way of adaption.
When the shine increases there is also this "hard to bear" feeling....as if adaption to it is needed....it could be that this has been because of the emptiness all along.
On a more surface level it is the calling that gets more and more pulling. And the feeling of wanting to honor it at all times.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2008 : 6:41:11 PM
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Hi Christi
quote:
Your "hole" sounds a bit like it could be the manipura chakra opening and clearing?
Ok? I have no idea...
The release from the subtle body was sort of in the area bewteen the navel and up to the chestbone....it was as if it was also "outside" the range of the chakra....Hmm. This is very vague....maybe I should catch up on some chakra theory 
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 07 2008 : 04:18:07 AM
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Hi Andrew
quote:
From my perspective the hole can only be such when immersed in it, when identified with it. When identified as emptiness/ spaciousness, the hole moves along within the space like all other emotional reactions and experiences. We are not these and when it is seen that we are absolutely none of it (not anything perceived or experienced), like you say, peace....
Yes...but there is a dynamic to this transition.....the way the hole changes into spaciousness.....I have experienced it many, many times. The place in the body where the hole is experienced as physical pain may however vary. This time , the physical pain was in the chest....in the lower half of it....including the physical heart. I would say that for the past 6-7 years this is often where it is located for me. There has been many heart openings....and this was yet another.
I came back to tell one more thing that I had forgotten is connected to this....
After having been with the spaciousness, after having stayed with the immense peace in the emptiness....where nothing is happening.....something essential will stream up from the space itself. I always forget this part is coming (which is good or else I would expect it and then it probably wouldn't come) This time it came after about a day and a half.....it is the most gentle, yet deepest feeling of love.......a light, clear, love that first filled the whole chest and then spread from there onwards......it is here still....and it brings with it an incredible lightness in heart and nothing is stuck anywhere....the chest is see-through now.
At other times what streamed up from the space was immense strength....or it could be immense joy......or a feeling of knowing what to do.....but all these have one thing in common. They are aspects of something real.
Anyway.....that is why the hole stands out a little more than whatever else took place in the experience that initiated this topic. It seems a recognizable part of all openings I have gone through. It can be felt both psychologically and physically. This time the spaciousness was particularly deep.....this time the peace itself had the strongest impact......I can connect to it at will now......it is there as an undercurrent.....just as the shine is like an overtone....Both are here now.
Not that I think this has to be remembered in any way. Not at all. I am just noticing that this is how it is for me. This may be of help when I am speaking to people that come to talk to me.....if they speak of something similar.....then I will know what is going on for them. |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 07 2008 : 5:56:04 PM
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When I turn inwards and connect with the deep emptiness - just like I had to self-pace when it came to focussing on the shine in the beginning - just like that I have to self-pace when it comes to being with the emptiness.
I cannot tolerate it constantly yet.....the nervous system is adapting to it. Also - after staying with it after the hole experience...my mind didn't function well for the whole day. I couldn't think properly. I have noticed this earlier of course...that I can go blank in the middle of a converstion.....or I will completely forget what people are telling me....or I would do things like putting the pen in the fridge and the bread in the closet.....This was a lot worse a couple of years ago, but it happens still.
Anyway....what I came to say was that
I was lying in bed last night....immersed in it.....and my mind is so lost....it cannot grasp this at all, poor thing. But as I lay there something just gently ticked in anyway.......this understanding ticked in:
The emptiness loves me........
I felt it touch me in the deepest place in the heart.
It was like the touch of a feather....
Yet it had me crying instantly.....
I still can't fully grasp it.....I don't think I ever will.
But this I can never forget....it was too profound for that.
So even though I cannot be with it all the time, I know of its love. It matters not that I don't understand the rest...
And since the undercurrent is here all the time....I "hear" it is here. So I know it is true. In spite of the lostness of the mind.
It is like the text in the book Breda: I don't believe it...but I know it is true.....
And Rui.....I could do with that crying smiley now....
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Oct 08 2008 : 02:45:13 AM
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"The emptiness loves me........
I felt it touch me in the deepest place in the heart."
That's beautiful, Katrine!
The way I see it, that's the Love that you truly ARE, Katrine!
"Woman is the essence of Love. Man is the essence of Truth." as many of the wise guys says! I do believe you have a sign that says "LOVE" all over your heart, no matter what others may have told you before...
BE the love that you are! The female principle to the core...
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 08 2008 : 07:04:32 AM
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Thank you, emc.....I feel your love 
Thank you also for having such trust in what I am able to be....you are very loving.....
I must be honest and tell you......I am not capable, emc.......of being the female principle.....I can only surrender to the nothingness......trust it completely....trust that even though i am dying in it.....there is still life. It is the surrender that is so hard.....so many rounds of it to make me understand that I am truly nothing.....such stubborness within that is ground down.....and ground down....again and again it is ground down....no end to it.....and yet when I am immersed in the emptiness it is the easiest thing......easier than breathing even....
I know i live as a female principle in a body.......but it is man that is in me. Somewhere deep in the nothingness is the truth of him. I do my best to bow to it....but even that I do poorly when I willfully try it.
So it is true grace that he shows his love like that....
Woman meets man.....love is the same as truth......and all of it is inside.....
It is such a mystery |
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shankar
Norway
35 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 04:51:13 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
So.....I finally understand the relation between the Shine and the emptiness......
A friend sent me an email about Shiva and Shakti....telling me that the Shine (Shakti) was Shiva moving. Or emptiness dancing.
And everything clicked inside.
Only after the experience does the explanation come in words...through a book...or a friend...or a stranger. And then the information is crucial...because it validates the experience and engenders further trust. It has always been like that for me.
And now I do....and I don't know what to say......other than:
Consciously being with just the emptiness....this truly passive spaciousness.....is the deepest peace......
Hi Katrine!
I`ve been away for a while, travelling and gathering some wonderful experiences along the way.
Just logged in and was uplifted to see your thread. Felt happiness and a sense of joy at the progress you have made, at how you have found a new direction via adversity. You have hit upon something very significant: sunyata or the void is the highest reality. If you can glimpse it, you are well on your way to inner peace. Feel so joyous as I read about your new experiences |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 12:32:06 PM
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Hi Shankar
Welcome back. I am glad you have enjoyed your travels
Yes.....the emptiness is peace itself....I am still with it.
I experienced a crown opening last week-end.....and 3 days ago, during meditation, there was this musical splintering sound in head....as if the thinnest glass...or ice....broke... It made the body "jump" involuntary - you know...the way you can jump while drifting off to sleep. All is well, though - it is a relief that the energy can stream out through the crown more easily....much less pressure there.
Thanks for being uplifted
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2008 : 7:05:10 PM
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quote:
I still feel that the personal aspect is not the same as ego....it is a personal expression......not a center.......I still feel that it is allowed to be here with the activity.
There has been digestion.....Something clicked today....while doing the dishes....in silence....:
Concerning the "personal aspect" ....or...."personal expression":
The witnessing of the presence happened as it usually does....as in the subtle, spontanious knowing that I am......and it is so simple...because..it is simply that it is intimate. It is not personal.....it is the fact that I am intimate with it! I am intimate with the fact that I am.
I am....that is all of it!
And after this....surfacing of the quote below (from earlier in this topic)......:
quote:
The emptiness loves me........
I felt it touch me in the deepest place in the heart.
......and another click:
It is not that the emptiness loves "me"...... .........it is simply that the emptiness loves to be.
The love is of beingness.....it loves itself and knows it through the fact that I am. As you are!
Just the fact that I am is the witness.
I am that which is wordlessly here right now.......and when the attention is on just the fact that I am...just this ...as in the incident in the quote above, love made itself known.....from the depth...
This is Grace..........
And since I am here to tell it....then that which observes even the I am.......that is not consciousness! It cannot be....since consciousness/I am is seen. Even consciousness is seen by....the passive....It is deeper than I am....deeper than the witness ......
and it is this that is the Heart. The Heart of everything....of all of it.
Without the beingness/the consciousness/witness......The Heart could not know Love......
No wonder I cry when the love is known....
THAT loves itself.....and it can know it through you.....
This is so beautiful..... every single one of us will be missed if not here.
If you ever feel insignificant again.....if you ever feel you are without purpose.......
please reconsider.....and find out for yourself just how precious you already are.
Just as Love is THAT....and is known through the witness.....the knowing of it......the knower....is THAT too.
And the colourless light...the shine....that is not seen with the eyes.....but makes everything lit from within.....this is also THAT.
And now there will be digestion.....self-pacing.....so that the impact of this can deepen and integration can happen.
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The hole and the whole
