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jamesrgarrett
USA
11 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 1:17:06 PM
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I would like to make a few observations as a way of introducing myself to the AYP Forum. I am a 57-year-old man who has been studying meditation for about 6 months (since reading the Autobiography of a Yogi) and practicing AYP for about four months. My practice currently consists of 6 minutes of spinal breathing, 20 minutes of “I am” meditation and 10 minutes of samyama twice each day (mostly).
I have found that self-pacing is necessary and intuitive. I have cut back on pranayama at times and shortened samyama at times. Mostly, this was a result of feeling sort of “hyped up” during the day or especially tired. Many times, after laying off for one or two sessions, or even a whole weekend, I have come back recharged and had significant breakthroughs in my practice. Sometimes, I have felt like I wasn’t getting enough practice; so, I extended by samyama for a few minutes, or just dwelled in the inner stillness for a few minutes after practice or at bedtime.
I have also found that analyzing practice isn’t productive. Over time, I pay less and less attention to what is happening during practice. Initially, I found myself getting bored with deep meditation. I couldn’t stand the thought of just concentrating on “I am” for 20 minutes again. Eventually, I stopped concentrating on “I am” and began concentrating on maintaining a mindless state and just touching the “I am” when I thought of it. This has led to a very profound amount of progress, relaxation and satisfaction.
I also found myself bothered by spinal breathing. I wasn’t really sure what I should concentrate on. Concentrating on the sensation of breath going up or down my spine (backbone) was stressful and hard work. I tried watching my third eye, but didn’t know what, if anything, I was watching for. After all, the lessons said to ignore the scenery. Sometimes I have used a tennis ball at my perineum or contracted by anus or lower abdomen, but mostly not.
This past weekend, I attended a Gnan Vidhi. This was the first “spiritual” session that I ever attended outside of Christian stuff. The Gnan Vidhi is a ceremony where the awareness of the pure soul is supposed to be transmitted to the devotee and a process established whereby one could attain separation from the relative soul and from karmic effects. I didn’t really feel any different after the ceremony. I have been thinking a lot about it though.
Last evening, during my AYP sitting practice, I experienced ecstatic conductivity for the first time. While I had been savoring the inner stillness for several weeks, this was the first time that I felt an inner surge of energy during spinal breathing. During my deep meditation immediately thereafter, I was able to dynamically connect the energy surge with my inner stillness. Oh my! Wonderful!! Now I understand why someone would rush home from work to practice meditation.
I don’t know if this breakthrough was connected to the Gnan Vidhi or not, but the proximity seems too obvious to be a coincidence.
When I was around 35 years old, I had what I called at the time a “spiritual conversion.” I was seeking God, and for the first time, I had been reading the New Testament (Gospel of John) for about two weeks. Spontaneously, I got down on my knees and started to pray for God to come into my life. I was immediately transported to a vision of a vast dark, empty space. I say empty, but I had the sensation that I was surrounded by an infinite cosmos full of living beings. I described it as looking at the face of God. I was able to return to this vision at will for a few days but then the interval between visions began to increase and it was finally lost except for rare, distant glimpses. I became very involved in the Christian faith since I was reading the New Testament at the time of the initial vision and felt like that was the pathway to God. Over time, though, and particularly, over the years, I became increasingly disillusioned with the church. My passions cooled and then chilled. I became an agnostic. Still, what about that vision?
Since the beginning of 2008, I have studied meditation a lot as a pathway to spirituality. I have read the Second Coming of Christ by Paramahansa Yogananda, the Synthesis of Yoga by Sri Aurobindo and many others. Perhaps the most important book for me was The Gospel in Brief by Leo Tolstoy.
Since starting AYP meditation, though, I feel like I have finally connected again with the essence of God that I saw over twenty years ago. I realize that the vision that I had then was Samadhi. I have had similar emotions, etc. while dwelling in the inner stillness over the past few weeks. The ecstatic bliss that I experienced last night transcended the experience, though. Also, I was able to sustain it for many, many minutes and was filled with bliss. This is what I have been looking for.
This website has been a lifeline to me. I knew about meditation but didn’t know how to do it. I am, in general, an introvert and find it very hard to approach or join new groups; and besides, there weren't any meditation groups around here to join other than Buddhist. This site, though, has provided me with a pathway that I can work on my own; and, yet, it has also provided me with a community to relate to. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you all and learning from your experiences. Thanks for being here.
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Edited by - jamesrgarrett on Jun 10 2008 8:55:47 PM |
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scottfitzgerald
USA
65 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 3:22:26 PM
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James-
Thanks you for reminding me that being a part of this community does not mean always posting, and that silent thanks, silent scenery, silent bliss, silent silence is much more rewarding than screaming from a mountain top.
Less chance of fallng too. :)
For me, this forum has been about listening. My practice has become that way as well.
Warm welcome.
Now self pace and eat your vegetables.
Scott Fitzgerald
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Edited by - scottfitzgerald on Jun 10 2008 3:27:44 PM |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 3:23:08 PM
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Dear James,
Welcome to the forum.
What a wonderful inspiring story! Thanks for sharing.
Love to all,
Jill |
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Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 3:41:34 PM
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Hi James,
Thank you for the beautiful sharing. It's postings like yours that help keep the flame of inspiration alive and glowing for us all. We are indeed fortunate to have this forum and each other as friends and a support system along the way.
A very warm welcome ... it's great to have you here. The Best to you always.
Love and Light,
Steve |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 6:25:32 PM
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Hello James :),
thk for sharing this great post, and concerning your vision well i might say that i've experienced smthg like that a lot in the past when i used to mdeitate on my back before sleep and i wouldn't call it a vision but u might say it's like a glimpse for the microscosm inside and this is my own opinion on the matter plus some theosophist and tantra yoga and in the end maybe we had the same experience and maybe we didn't.
but this last month i've experienced smthg beyond the imagination and beyond the feeling of anything, i got pulled with all of my surrounding while meditating into a black space.
but there was no me in that space there was space and i'm the space and the space is all nothing but that with a great feeling whom i can't desribe but you can say it's like an ecstacy overdose but in a very sweet way :)
and again thk you for sharing and welcome to ayp and thk god for this lovely community and howdi everyone just wanted to say i love you guys :)
peace
Ananda |
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LittleTurtle
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 7:56:12 PM
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Yeah, great post. Thanks for sharing.  |
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Richard
United Kingdom
857 Posts |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 2:49:45 PM
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| Welcome to the forum James nice post thank you |
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I just found the sweet spot
