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arzkiyahai
93 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 20 2008 : 6:25:03 PM
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Hello everyone,
I am in midst of a kundalini awakening. Previously for many years I did kriya yoga and I am not doing anything now. As I have been told not to do any kriya yoga as my neurons are too sensitive. Thanks from my heart to Yogani, he adviced me to read self-pacing and grounding exercises, which I will do very soon.
I believe I am not far off from the ego death, and ego-death is coming my way soon. I have read some articles stating ego-death sometimes creates a situation of identity crisis. And some people's life get disturbed when or after they face ego-death.
Kindly people who have gone through ego-death please advice me what measures / practices I should follow so that my normal daily life doesn't get disturbed by the ego-death. And I am able to do my normal daily job. I am terrified and confused as how to handle the ego-death so that my normal daily life-job is not disturbed. Please advice me.
kind regards and thanks to everyone
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 03:21:07 AM
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Hi arzkiyahai
Welcome to the forum
I wouldn't worry about ego death if I were you. The very expectation of ego death is itself the ego.
The main thing is to stabilise your practice and manage your kundalini.
I can't comment on what might be described as ego death in combination with kundalini. In gerenal though if you have such an awakening it will benefit your life and free it considerably.
But this is all expectation - what makes you think you will have an ego death?? |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 03:48:12 AM
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quote:
Kindly people who have gone through ego-death please advice me what measures / practices I should follow so that my normal daily life doesn't get disturbed by the ego-death. And I am able to do my normal daily job. I am terrified and confused as how to handle the ego-death so that my normal daily life-job is not disturbed.
ohh man, I couldn't help but burst out laughing after reading this haha. :) Especially the bold part.
You're awesome arzkiyahai :).
Just remember, the "I" that handles things is the ego. All you need to do is watch as "the world of form" comes and goes.
If you start getting symptoms of "too much too soon", then check out those "self pacing" articles around here.
I think enlightenment is sort of like quitting cigarettes... or at least how I'm going about it haha, instead of going cold turkey, and being like "F YOU CIGARETTES"(and then it comes back and slaps you in the face, and you give in to having a smoke), you buy some nicorette gum, and take it one step at a time :). |
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 08:18:40 AM
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Welcome arzkivahai:
Establishing the witness is transcending the world through practice or witnessing the world as a dream. And there are many grades of perception beyond the initial witnessing stage, but this has to be established, first, before a person can realize other elements of reality. So yogani's advice was sound.
Anyway, ego death is symbolic. Just as a childhood fear may be projected by solidifying this fear in the form of a monster. It's something that a child will do, because it's the only thing he/she can do at this natural developmental stage of perception. So the child may cover his face with a blanket and disappear or become invisible. This is the same thing that happens once the witness is established. The realization that the world is not real occurs or it becomes just like a dream.
The world never really went anywhere, but it's a natural process of spiritual unfoldment that needs to occur before subsequent perception is realized. Just like the child witnessed that he disappeared beneath the blanket.
So death is not an end, but a beginning of new awareness or a shift of perception and there is nothing to fear. I'm sure you can remember having fears that were rectified by concrete thinking and are no longer useful now that we're older realizing that the monster, just like the fear of death, never really existed in the first place, but was self-created by the mind.
Namaste:
VIL
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yogibear
409 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 08:21:07 AM
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Hi arzkiyahai and welcome to the forum.
Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. It may seem like a mountain to you right now but truly it isn't. Just live your life and be yourself (your self is you in case there is any confusion about that) and self pace your practice. Enjoy life. Focus on how you can help others in your work. Everything will be fine.
Best wishes, yb.
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eputkonen
USA
43 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 09:40:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by arzkiyahai
Kindly people who have gone through ego-death please advice me what measures / practices I should follow so that my normal daily life doesn't get disturbed by the ego-death.
There is nothing YOU can do...there are no measures, no practices YOU should follow. That YOU is the ego.
Anything YOU do strengthens the ego and keeps it going.
The very question is a way for the ego to stall ego-death...it brings up questions and fears about what will happen in normal daily life and functioning.
Namaste,
~ Eric Putkonen |
Edited by - eputkonen on Apr 21 2008 09:42:39 AM |
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arzkiyahai
93 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 8:18:33 PM
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Thankyou everyone for your reply. I think too much is happening too soon for me , way too fast than I can handle and I am looking for measures to slow things down.
I was talking to someone today and he mentioned that I might be facing the dark night of soul. Personally I am not sure where I am at. The phase of adrenal hyperactivation called as white death by 'Jana Dixon' is over though.
[quote=sparkle]what makes you think you will have an ego death??[/quote]
Hi sparkle, one of the person who I guess have a fully awakened kundalini told me that ego death is on my way.
[quote=VIL]Anyway, ego death is symbolic. Just as a childhood fear may be projected by solidifying this fear in the form of a monster[/quote]
Hello VIL, in other words do you mean that our fears sitting in our subconcious are amplified during this phase just to make us fear more?
kind regards to everyone
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 10:06:22 PM
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arzkiyahai,
The advice given you above is excellent. As for "dark night of soul", Jesus, I've been having that since about 1970. Does the dark night of the soul ever end? We're human. We tackle a landscape of inescapable impediments. We can choose to open to it all as-is, embracing as a knee-jerk reaction, or we can natter away at it. Either way, What Is simply is.
Y'know, one of the great attractions of AYP for me is its wonderful simplicity. Man, this path can seem SO complicated. So much has been written, and we carry so much baggage! AYP gives us simple, self-contained things to actually DO. And we do them rotely, like brushing our teeth. And the only decision, the only adjustment, we need to worry about making is this: "slow down or speed up?"
So if the following is really true:
quote:
I think too much is happening too soon for me
.....hey, use your joy stick! Self-pace back a bit! No problem! Ratchet back up again when you're ready. Just don't stop entirely! (that's key!). And make the pacing decisions wisely, and from the heart, not from drama stirred up by the mind (I stir up drama for myself, too...we all do!).
I'd suggest you stop trying to analyze where you're at. That's just an endless and fruitless maze of the mind. Maybe even stop reading spiritual stuff for a while. At times like these, it's good to get back to Ivory Soap basics. Sit down and say "I am" a lot, period.  |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Apr 24 2008 12:44:53 AM |
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Amaargi
Australia
23 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 01:36:24 AM
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Hi arzkiyahai,
quote:
Originally posted by arzkiyahai
Hello VIL, in other words do you mean that our fears sitting in our subconcious are amplified during this phase just to make us fear more?
This is whats happening - everything gets amplified and can sometimes manifest into physical reality in our home or surroundings, not only in the mind.
They're not there 'just make us fear more' but are there from previous experiences and some are also our natural fears such as the fight or flight responses.
The ego/child will use these to stop us from finding enlightenment or even advancing in other areas of our life - stepping out of the comfort zone ect. Either way it all will be cleared by Kundalini or meditation techniques, it just depends on what method we use and if it's done safely and carefully - such as in the AYP method.
Everything everyone has said to you in the previous posts is good advice except, because of my personal experiences, I tend to take it all a bit more serious because it can be so disruptive to our life in many areas (maybe I get too serious  ). The fears can be really terrifying which in turn if not handled correctly can result in health and emotional problems.
It really does depend on what the fears are and where they are coming from. If you can provide more information it could help. It may be chakras are open and releasing, your inner child is (ego) is throwing out all kinds of obstacles or your aura is weak (thought energy is scattering everywhere) and you are susceptible to people around you and you're picking up their fears.
Whatever the problem is I found grounding was the most effective and will cover all of the above situations. I really don't feel grounding is stressed enough to help people who are having problems.
I didn't walk very much myself so can't speak personally of the benefits, but many others have and they all recommend this.
I found getting into the earth, gardening, sitting with my feet in it in the garden, visualising walking or lying in beautiful dark brown healthy earth really calmed everything down for me.
Bring plants indoors, sit in solid wooden chairs and your back to the wall, get an aquarium, play with and love the family pet - if you have one. Make mud pies with little kids, do fingerpainting with them.
I also ate heavier meals which includes meat and also wore clothes that were brown in colour. Anything brown and natural will do.
A pleasurable part of it was to eat dark chocolate (in moderation of course ) The more cocoa in it the better and this is healthy as it contains anti-oxidents which are good for the body.
I believe that our body has a natural tendency to take care of itself if we give it half the chance so by grounding and tuning into nature calmed everything down and then the body/kundalini energy flows naturally at a pace that is healthy and less disruptive.
The second most important thing I found that helped was to stay fully focused in the moment - probably the 'mindfulness' practiced by Buddhists. This isn't in meditation (I stopped meditating) but in everything I do, even the most boring tasks, washing dishes, vacuuming the floor etc.
It draws our energy back to us instead of being scattered everywhere which causes many problems. It also strengthens a weakend aura, helps you feel more grounded and in control and also self-empowered which is what you need at this time.
Sitting and drawing or colouring in, doodling, can help - cutout all thoughts and totally focus on what you are doing. I read some research by a Doctor treating schizophrenic patients that Japanese caligraphy and water painting helped his patients in their recovery so I'm certain if anyone did the research they'll find its chakras or kundalini that might be the problem. Drawing and painting helped balance the right/left brain.
It may not relate to your situation at the moment but an opened crown chakra may be some cause of it, though I found an opened crown chakra brought on more feelings of depression and remorse, not fear.
Another remedy I accidently stumbled upon was to massage my scalp upwards with my fingers which helped close the chakra, and then tie my hair up (I have long hair) in a tight knot at the top of my head - much like we see the yogi's wear - is this why they do this? I immediately felt a sense of peace and relief and it stops any voices that you may hear chattering all the time.
The above remedies, and others have suggested throughout the forum will help. It may happen straight away, if not keep at it anyway because in some cases it may take some time for the results to be felt - it depends on your disposition and how much the chakras are opened etc. Anything you do will have a culminative affect so be patient and loving to yourself and don't give up.
Just breath deeply and let the fears past through and believe that they are not real - stop doing any meditation or yoga until you're grounded and more in control and then it's step by step as Yogani recommends.
kindest regards
Amaargi |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 03:06:06 AM
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| Beautiful post Amaargi, thank you |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2008 : 01:34:00 AM
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don't worry about it
Peace and Love
cosmic |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2008 : 1:06:22 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by arzkiyahai
Kindly people who have gone through ego-death please advice me what measures / practices I should follow so that my normal daily life doesn't get disturbed by the ego-death. And I am able to do my normal daily job. I am terrified and confused as how to handle the ego-death so that my normal daily life-job is not disturbed. Please advice me.
kind regards and thanks to everyone
Hi arzkiyahai,
I had this very same fear, and what helped me get past it, was asking myself if it was absolutely true and certain that there will be this big dramatic ego-death that will disturb my life and job etc.? I was very worried about this, thought it would jeopardize everything that was dear to me: friends, family, loved ones, career, etc. Turns out, it's just another thought of the mind, no more true than any other thought about the future or the past.
I realize now, that this thought: "ego-death is coming and it will be disruptive towards my life and job" was just another thought, another imagining of the mind about a future that didn't exist.
There is nothing to fear, who/ what you are today, is who/ what you have always been and will be.
Practice daily, self-pace and don't do too much and you will enjoy a pleasant and smooth ride.
All the best!
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arzkiyahai
93 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2008 : 8:54:57 PM
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Thankyou very much everyone for your reply. I am trying to do grounding as suggested by everyone here.
Doing other things and walking as much as my health allows, is walking on particular helpful or anything that involves physical activity like gym etc.
Other than the things I previously posted, I do want your kind opinions and advice on the following issues:
Previously I never had any problems .. not even a single thought bothered me whole through the day , as I used to om-recitation which I have been told not to do as neurons are too sensitive.
When I am sleeping I am having nightmares- not to mention most of them are my own fears and waking up severly depressed every morning now a days. A lot of voices in head are there specially at the times when one is in a kind of half sleep state, neither fully awake nor sleep.. (at night and morning), yesterday in the morning the time when I was in similiar kind of state I heard a voice which made me fully woke up.. but this time when I thought about the stuff being said to me.. It was actually nothing but a scattered version of a sentence that someone said to me on the previous day.. which made me to think that these strong voices are nothing but my thoughts or just the stuff someone said to me.. in jumbled/scattered version.. I am not sure if I am watching the thoughts floating in air.. this is what I think about the voices at least I am not fully sure about it,
I am not fully sure though how to bring my mind some peace, or at least stop the depression and the flood of thoughts in my mind.
kind regards and thanks to everyone
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2008 : 10:50:59 PM
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Arzkiyahai, your best tool is to just "watch the thoughts". I know it's easier said than done. A scattered mind can easily push you towards wanting to resist said scattered mind.
Honestly, I suggest, next time you have the chance, and feel your mind is very scattered and "dissorderly" and that you have no "silence", make a meditation out of it.
Just forget all meditation methods for once, just sit, be and allow. Just watch as thoughts come and go, watch the part of you that tries to resist, watch the part of you that tries to accept. Neither of them are the "watcher"... so just forget any methods and get in touch with the one who watches by allowing anything that comes your way to be watched. Bring your focus as much into the "now moment" as you can, but do so by letting go all expectation, all "shoulds", "should nots". Forget "accepting", forget "letting go", forget "silence", just sit and be (and let that being become whatever comes up).
It might feel very turbulent at first, like there's no end to the constant rush of thoughts, but just keep watching. I mean, you may sit there and be like "aww man, I was just thinking of this 30 seconds ago, and I let it go, and it's back again". As you move more and more into the "now moment", it won't even matter if your mind is scattered. It's possible to know silence through a noisy mind, this... I know through experience.
That being said... the silence tends to grow and "take over" the noisyness of the mind in a way, but that's just a side effect. You get there just by acceptance. So basically... forget "silence". Noisyness is just as "silent" as silence :). |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2008 : 10:08:49 AM
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Hi arzkiyahai,
Have you tried twice daily deep meditation as described in the AYP lessons by Yogani here:
http://www.aypsite.org/13.html
This helps increase inner silence dramatically over time and can have a significant impact on making the ride of kundalini awakening much smoother.
If you find that too much release is occurring for you, then shortening the prescribed 20 minutes to 10 or 15 minutes may be the way to go for you.
Bets of luck to you,
A
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2008 : 10:58:18 AM
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Hi arzkiyahai,
The pacing lessons here are a good hint. Don't rush it, this is a journey of patience.
And don't forget physical practice to ground yourself. If you're not strong enough for a long walk, take several short ones instead. If I were your yoga teacher I'd tell you to make your meditation 3-5 times shorter than usual and put more asana and pranayama into your daily sadhana until you feel more inspired. Against depression, we use back bends because they're "up-beat" and opening the heart (anahata) and inversions or at least any asana that keeps your head lower than your heart.
Forward bends make the opposite - a good soothing exercise to get calm before you go to bed.
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Amaargi
Australia
23 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2008 : 01:52:23 AM
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Hi arzkiyahai,
What Dinineis posted is what I meant when I suggested 'mindfulness' or living fully in the moment. It really does help.
quote:
Originally posted by Divineis
Bring your focus as much into the "now moment" as you can, but do so by letting go all expectation, all "shoulds", "should nots". Forget "accepting", forget "letting go", forget "silence", just sit and be (and let that being become whatever comes up).
.... As you move more and more into the "now moment", it won't even matter if your mind is scattered. It's possible to know silence through a noisy mind, this... I know through experience.
Also, now that you've mentioned voices in the head I can understand more of what you're experiencing and I found it's classic pre-opened Crown chakra - and there's plenty of info here in the forums on that. :)
Another thing I would like to add is to drink plenty of water and other fluids.
Yoga and Kundalini can naturally lead to us needing more fluids to flush out the system anyway - plus I found out that headaches and chattering in the head could be a sign of dehydration. Sometimes you may feel hungry but our bodies messages can be misinterpreted and instead of eating, try drinking water or fruit and vegetable juice.
Some practitioners suggest immediately drinking very large amounts of fluids but I would recommended starting by increasing what you normally drink per day slowly over time. Too much detoxifying or flushing the body out can lead to further headaches and withdrawals as it's too much for your system to handle.
It really depends on how healthy you are to start, how much fluids you normally drink and how many toxins you have stored in the body.
kindest regards
Amaargi
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Ego death help.
