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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 19 2008 : 3:51:11 PM
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I have always been an empath but noticed lately I am picking up other peoples emotional states. It may be that this has been happening for a long time but now it is clear that these feelings don't originate inside me. It is not that comfortable because I am not able to just slough them off as I would wish. When I am having feelings of my own, my usual practice is to just go within and look at what is happening, give it a label and let it pass. If it is someone else's stuff then I can't do much to explore the roots.
If this topic has been addressed elsewhere I would appreciate anyone directing me to the posts. Much thanks.
Jill
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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2008 : 5:23:21 PM
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Hi, one of my friends described something simmilar happening to her during (at the time) unregualated kundalini awakening.
It depends how much you feel the witness/inner silence and how accessible it is. If it is present then you can use the neti neti method - switch to the witness and realize where in the situation you're identifying with something and then let it go into silence.
If other people's emotions cause any problems or discomfort for you, it's necessary to look for the source inside you - the small self. If it weren't for something in you which resonates with emotions coming from the other people, there'd be nothing happening. The emotions would just pass through you.
These obstructions which cause such things will go in time with meditation and selfinquiry, at least that's been my experience so far.
Dunno if this helps :) |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2008 : 5:29:15 PM
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Hi Jill,
It is a phase and it does go away.. or at least become less... settles down.
Not sure if this thread will help you : Non-duality - multiplicity. And here is another one : Dealing with pain of others
Just one thing to keep in mind.. others can affect you, only as much as you will allow.. it is finally all in your mind. Please don't get me wrong, I am not minimizing your experience in any way.. or saying you can and should do anything differently.. but people have only as much power over you as you will let them have. |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2008 : 6:46:04 PM
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Thank you tadeas and Shanti. I know you are right because the feeling I am picking up is agitation and I am susceptible to that as well as impatience. As for my witness access, it is intermittent so I can see why I am struggling. I will try to patiently continue to meditate and find it more stable :)
Thanks again,
Jill |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2008 : 03:08:20 AM
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"...people have only as much power over you as you will let them have."
I know I read a metaphore in a book that has helped me understand this very clearly. (Probably a Ruiz book, but not sure.)
If you had a time machine and could go back to the midieval times and brought a modern thing with you, say an MP3-player. How would the people there react? They would surely be very afraid and then accuse you of sorcery, being the devil himself and treat you as the plague. Now, would you take that in and let it affect you personally? No, you would rather probably have a hard time not to laugh at their ignorance and irrational reactions. All nasty things they would say to you, all aggressive energies they would throw at you would be SEEN FOR WHAT IT WAS: Their own business due to lack of knowledge and awareness. It would just fall off like water on a goose and be rather interesting to watch.
Now, is there any difference between a midieval person without knowledge, and a person in your present surrounding with no knowledge, bursting out in different emotions (towards you or anything else)? I'd say: NO! Not a single difference. You can go just as unaffected from an emotional storm today as if you would have encountered that midieval person. This is a picture I often fall back to when I'm drawn into believing someone else is affecting me in any way. They are not.
As Shanti said: It is what I believe that determines my engagement in the situation. |
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lorf
48 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2008 : 5:27:55 PM
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| For me, picking up other peoples emotions has been part of life for years. But like with so much else intent is the key and works. Another thing that makes a huge difference is if I am centered or not. If I am out of my center, and have energetic parts of myself spread out picking up emotions of others can be very annoying. When centered I still pick them up but they pass through without really being a nuisance. |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 05:21:48 AM
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Hi Jill
I can totally relate to picking up other people's emotions and making them yours. I have been an empath from the begining of this life, hadnt always realized it and believed that some of them were my own. A few very helpful tips I have been given along the way, I would love to pass along to you....
Daily protect yourself in white light and from within the white light visualize an enery streak from the top of your head spiraling counter clockwise downward the energy streak comes out of your feet and begins to spiral upwards in a clockwise direction and tuck the energy streak back into the top of your head. This forms a bubble of protection that just cannot get into your field. Daily pop the bubble and begin again.
another is if on the phone hold the receiver and listen with your right ear, your left ear is the receiptor side and gets into your emotional being. Your back is also a point of entry for energy so when out in public or sitting - dont have your back to open windows or a huge crowd. As an empath even things that you - I touchk, we pick up the energies from - think about how much we really touch ikn a day it is overwhelming - the perfect tool is an very inexpensive Selentine gemstone - perhaps its even better than crystal quartz and it cleans all energies from anything and requires no maintenance. I give you all my confidence that these tips will immediately create "JILL" and less time trying to figure out if things are your emotions or others and you will not get sick as often either and feel more energized than normal.
Live With Passion
Nancy |
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yogibear
409 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 08:43:18 AM
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Hi Jill,
quote:
Jill wrote:
Thank you tadeas and Shanti. I know you are right because the feeling I am picking up is agitation and I am susceptible to that as well as impatience.
These are low volume flight/fight energies radiating from these people. In this case, fight emotions. The animal mind is more dominant in them at the moment.
Using emc's MP3 player analogy, your MP3 player is the witness and greater awareness and freedom from identification with and automatic activation of these emotions. Even if there is activation, you know what is going on and they don't. You are more conscious.
I.e., your force field is has some holes in it and you need to increase your power of resistance, as Nancy is saying.
quote:
Nancy wrote:
This forms a bubble of protection that just cannot get into your field.
Hard style meditation on my heart does this for me. Not suggesting that you do this but just telling you that I have noticed this definite effect.
In fact, Self Inquiry would be a perfect tool for this. This is a possible way to explore the roots.
They think they are this person. They think that this behavior will create happiness for them. You know it can't. You know they are trapped. You can understand them, and feel compassion for them as a result, trapped as they are in their unconscious roles and unhappiness. You will increase your witnessing capacity and activate your higher expansive emotional energies at the same time.
You can "rise above it,"... as they say.
I do this too when I catch myself behaving unconsciously.
Works for me. It gives me perspective and freedom.
Just some thoughts for your perusal. Don't know if you will find them useful or not.
Best, yb. |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 09:49:31 AM
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Just caught this thread. I'm the same, Jillatay (I used to cry from pain whenever another kid hurt him/herself). Luckily there's a simple answer.
As you do yoga practice, yeah, the empathic reactions get stronger and more frequent, and it's harder and harder to "slough them off". Unity makes all suffering YOUR suffering. This has been written about a lot in the spiritual literature of most traditions. It's a sign that your practice is "working". So how can we avoid winding up absolutely haunted, anguished, and generally freaked out as more and more of the infinite suffering of the world is felt personally?
Aside from the issue of empathy, I'm quite sure that you'd say that you suffer less these days in reaction to things that previously would have put you off your peace. You're able to witness with more detachment (and by detachment I don't mean repression or sloughing off...I mean a sober, eyes-wide-open peaceful acceptance of what's happening). You accept more and judge less, and the silence you cultivate during meditation becomes deeper and more enduring in everyday life, so you get less bound up in (and wound up by) things that happen. Right...?
You can probably see where I'm leading. Just as yoga "got you into this mess", by greatly increasing your empathic sensitivity and tearing down your borders (your ability to slough), yoga also naturally provides a solution. The silent witness which detaches you from your suffering reaction increases just as greatly. It will expand in proportion to the expansion of your empathy. Just as we say a pregnant mom-to-be is "eating for two", you'll be detaching for two, or two hundred, or two billion. If that seems daunting, bear in mind that silence is a far bigger and deeper thing than you might think. It can expand to fit the entire universe.
The problem (infinite empathy) and its solution (infinite witness) grow in blessed parallel, so it's all tolerable (remember the biblical quote about never being challenged beyond your capacity ). But there are little bumps where one pulls ahead of the other. Yoga's like that. What you're feeling now is empathy pulling a little bit ahead of silence. Just give it some time. The biology of all this really works!
In more poetic terms, you watch the dance, you may even choose to join the dance from time to time, but you exist beyond dancing. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Feb 19 2008 10:06:31 AM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 10:04:33 AM
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I focused on the emotional state of "suffering", though you were talking about all states, because that's the grizzliest state to empath. But it all applies to everything.  |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Feb 19 2008 10:29:48 AM |
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yogani
USA
5241 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 10:33:07 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
In more poetic terms, you watch the dance, you may even choose to join the dance from time to time, but you exist beyond dancing.
Hi Jim and All:
Great discussion. I might add that we will know stillness is moving beyond the initial stage of witnessing when it joins the dance in earnest. And the dance is called "Service."
Then we are no longer only in expanding empathy, which is still a reaction in the field of duality.
Rising unity is becoming the other, and engaging for the benefit of the other in ways that are non-dual and non-reactionary. Then, no longer do we feel invaded, nor wondering why people are reacting to us in the ways they do. They can sense the rising unity, the dissolving separateness, and are attracted to it within themselves, even as we are becoming it. It is the resonant entrainment of stillness in action.
The step from witness to stillness in action is a conscious choice each person will make along the path. It involves acting from the level of witness (not retreating into witness), walking straight through duality and the reactions structured in it (fear - ours and others). It is a walk into true relationship in service, rather than the mode of, "I'm okay, and what on earth is everyone else doing?"
That must give way to something much greater, something much more courageous. That something is service, the outpouring of divine love, which is anything but passive observation, even while it is occurring in our absolute stillness.
So, don't analyze -- Act!
The guru is in you.
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Balance
USA
967 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 11:18:30 AM
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Great thread everyone!
Wonderful advice yogani. |
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Lila
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 5:24:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by yogani
Then we are no longer only in expanding empathy, which is still a reaction in the field of duality.
Rising unity is becoming the other, and engaging for the benefit of the other in ways that are non-dual and non-reactionary. Then, no longer do we feel invaded, nor wondering why people are reacting to us in the ways they do. They can sense the rising unity, the dissolving separateness, and are attracted to it within themselves, even as we are becoming it. It is the resonant entrainment of stillness in action.
The step from witness to stillness in action is a conscious choice each person will make along the path. It involves acting from the level of witness (not retreating into witness), walking straight through duality and the reactions structured in it (fear - ours and others). It is a walk into true relationship in service, rather than the mode of, "I'm okay, and what on earth is everyone else doing?"
That must give way to something much greater, something much more courageous. That something is service, the outpouring of divine love, which is anything but passive observation, even while it is occurring in our absolute stillness.
Hi - I just recently found this website and I am amazed at the information here. It is wonderful to have a place like this available.
Yogani - would you be able to give any more specifics on how one is able to move into rising unit? How does one find the place of stillness in action?
If there is something you would suggest reading that explains this more I would appreciate that as well.
Namaste,
Lila |
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yogani
USA
5241 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 6:04:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lila
[quote]Originally posted by yogani
Yogani - would you be able to give any more specifics on how one is able to move into rising unit? How does one find the place of stillness in action?
If there is something you would suggest reading that explains this more I would appreciate that as well.
Namaste,
Lila
Hi Lila, and welcome!
It begins with two short daily sessions of deep meditation. This is how we cultivate abiding inner silence in our daily life. Everything else proceeds from there.
Reading-wise, the best place to start is at the beginning of the main lessons (see link at the top of this page). It goes pretty much in order step-by-step, and you will see the progression. There is also a series of books that expands on the online lessons.
The Samyama and Self-Inquiry books focus more on cultivating stillness in action, as will the next book on Bhakti and Karma Yoga. The prerequisite for all of these is daily deep meditation.
There is also an "energetic" side to the process of human spiritual transformation, with associated practices covered in sequence in the lessons -- spinal breathing pranayama, asanas, mudras, bandhas, etc. The awakening of ecstatic conductivity in the nervous system plays a key role in the rise of stillness in action and unity. It can be said that our inner silence radiates outward from us on the wings of ecstasy. That is the connection. Enlightenment is a blend of abiding inner silence and natural ecstatic radiance. Together they yield endless outpouring divine love leading to unity.
Wishing you all the best on your chosen path. Enjoy!
The guru is in you.
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brushjw
USA
191 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 7:51:45 PM
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Jill,
It helps me to remember that emotion is energy. When I think of that it helps to me to visualize the emotion, depersonalize it, allow it to exist, and pass. Just another wave on the shore of life. Careful not to wade in too deeply or you might get sucked in by the riptide!
When I am experiencing strong emotions I stop and visualize where in the body that emotion resides. What it looks like, what parts of the body do not feel that emotion. I direct my attention to those parts and can usually make some immediate, although temporary, relief. Sometimes I visualize myslef out of my body, looking at myself and tickle "me." I usually can get myself to smile !
The most effective technique is probably the most difficult. I adopt a meditation posture (straight back, hands comfortably to the sides or resting on my legs, head upright, gaze slightly down), visualize the emotion, and then completely immerse myself in it, surrender to it. I have to keep relaxing parts of my body that are resisting the emotion. This causes the to pass the quickest.
aum namaste,
Joe |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2008 : 01:40:29 AM
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Brushjw, that was nice advice! I recognize this one:
quote:
Sometimes I visualize myslef out of my body, looking at myself and tickle "me." I usually can get myself to smile!
Very irritating sometimes when I'm sad and try to do the second suggestion you had - go into the emotion and surrender to it. I might start to go into it, and almost long to be able to cry things out, and then *flip* I get a glimpse of myself and find it all so ridiculous the crying passes over to laughter and I feel "robbed of the victory" over the emotion... Didn't even get a chance to dive into it... |
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yogibear
409 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2008 : 08:53:09 AM
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Yogani, I know the title of your book is Self Inquiry and not Self Analysis  , but does the witness do any analyzing at all or does it just let everything go into silence?
quote:
Yogani wrote:
The step from witness to stillness in action is a conscious choice each person will make along the path. It involves acting from the level of witness (not retreating into witness), walking straight through duality and the reactions structured in it (fear - ours and others). It is a walk into true relationship in service, rather than the mode of, "I'm okay, and what on earth is everyone else doing?"
So, don't analyze -- Act!
Best, yb.
From the book Self Inquiry:
With the rise of the witness..... We cease to be identified
with the goings on in time and space, while at the same
time we overflow with outpouring love in the very
realm we have transcended. We can let go of the world
even as we are illuminating it naturally from within.
Our actions will tell the tale, for we will be doing much
more for others, even as we are doing less inside.
We can let go of the world
even as we are illuminating it naturally from within.
Our actions will tell the tale, for we will be doing much
more for others, even as we are doing less inside.
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Edited by - yogibear on Feb 21 2008 08:59:23 AM |
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yogani
USA
5241 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2008 : 09:50:17 AM
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Hi YB:
The witness never does anything, even while it is doing everything. As we become established in the witness, our ability to consciously act as divine outflow increases. It is the epitome of less becoming more -- the divine paradox.
The role of self-inquiry in this is to let it go and allow it to proceed. The faculties of mind become illuminated by the witness. The witness is that which is behind and within all objects, including all thoughts, feelings and the outer world. In letting go, the outer expression of the witness (while doing nothing) will increase as radiance. This is why I regard self-inquiry as a technique of unity, along with samyama and karma yoga (service). These are outpourings of the divine which illuminate and unify everyday living.
This view of self-inquiry is contrary to the conventual wisdom that less is less and more in the world is illusion. But the conventional wisdom proves to be untrue when the self-inquiry is "relational" -- with the witness increasingly present. Then less becomes more in the world, and the so-called illusion of duality dissolves.
Stillness in action!
It cannot be understood by the intellect, but the intellect can make the necessary choices along the way. If we engage in the practices and let it happen, then we will know it for what it is. No need to take my word for it.
The guru is in you.
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Nirodha
New Zealand
86 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2008 : 12:17:15 PM
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Hi Jill,
This is just a question and there's no disrespect intended by it: Are you sure that you're not confusing hypersensitivity with empathy?
I think that one way to determine which one it might be is to ask the person, whom you suspect you are 'reading' emotions from, exactly how they feel at that time. I'd suggest repeating this test a number of times for validity and accuracy. And, if one discovers that they have misread the other's emotional state on numerous occasions, then they are not an empath at all; but rather hypersensitive and anxious.
Regardless of what it turns out to be, I think that you'll find that dwelling in fourth Jhana more often will help you to slough off this discomfort you mentioned. 
Peace
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 12:22:31 AM
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For all who have so kindly contributed to this topic, I thank you wholeheartedly. I can say that it is getting better now. I was really going through a bad patch and have had to self pace, drastically cutting back on most of my practices except for the twice daily meditations. Now it is just a matter of adding things back judiciously. 
Yes, Bill, I was hypersensitive even though I know I have been a natural empath since very young. I was picking up others emotions but it was not really the problem.
My nervous system was just too high strung probably from going through a deep cleansing period. One nice thing is the ecstatic conductivity seems to have increased, coming on randomly anytime during the day or night. The witness is also making itself apparent.
Thanks again for all the wisdom here. Love you all.
Jill |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 01:43:31 AM
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quote:
Yogani said: The witness is that which is behind and within all objects
Thanks for confirming that Yogani, the observer and the observed are one and the same in the experience of unity, even though there is separation, and observation of the separateness, there is also the experience of oneness in both, and so both co-exist together in the experiencing, as both separate and one.
don't know if that makes any sense. |
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 03:05:19 AM
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| My fast turn is to turn on any bright inward light focus I can come up with. Sometimes I infuse in a ball of white light, sometimes something smaller. Always it's terribly bright, like white hot fire. The split moment I have a glimpse of the light, I check back in with the empathic/sensitive sensations. If the sensations haven't already faded away, then they're my own doing. If they are faded, then... well, they're faded. :) |
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Wil
Sweden
160 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2021 : 1:23:28 PM
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It almost feels like digging up old relics if I comment old threads. Makes me a bit shy heh :S
However, I too have always been sort of an empath. I like "but people have only as much power over you as you will let them have." that Shanti mention and that Emc later goes on to give a great metaphor with visiting mediaval people.
Jims post though. Ouf. It made me cry and then giggle in hope and recongnition.
quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
Just caught this thread. I'm the same, Jillatay (I used to cry from pain whenever another kid hurt him/herself). Luckily there's a simple answer.
As you do yoga practice, yeah, the empathic reactions get stronger and more frequent, and it's harder and harder to "slough them off". Unity makes all suffering YOUR suffering. This has been written about a lot in the spiritual literature of most traditions. It's a sign that your practice is "working". So how can we avoid winding up absolutely haunted, anguished, and generally freaked out as more and more of the infinite suffering of the world is felt personally?
Aside from the issue of empathy, I'm quite sure that you'd say that you suffer less these days in reaction to things that previously would have put you off your peace. You're able to witness with more detachment (and by detachment I don't mean repression or sloughing off...I mean a sober, eyes-wide-open peaceful acceptance of what's happening). You accept more and judge less, and the silence you cultivate during meditation becomes deeper and more enduring in everyday life, so you get less bound up in (and wound up by) things that happen. Right...?
You can probably see where I'm leading. Just as yoga "got you into this mess", by greatly increasing your empathic sensitivity and tearing down your borders (your ability to slough), yoga also naturally provides a solution. The silent witness which detaches you from your suffering reaction increases just as greatly. It will expand in proportion to the expansion of your empathy. Just as we say a pregnant mom-to-be is "eating for two", you'll be detaching for two, or two hundred, or two billion. If that seems daunting, bear in mind that silence is a far bigger and deeper thing than you might think. It can expand to fit the entire universe.
The problem (infinite empathy) and its solution (infinite witness) grow in blessed parallel, so it's all tolerable (remember the biblical quote about never being challenged beyond your capacity ). But there are little bumps where one pulls ahead of the other. Yoga's like that. What you're feeling now is empathy pulling a little bit ahead of silence. Just give it some time. The biology of all this really works!
In more poetic terms, you watch the dance, you may even choose to join the dance from time to time, but you exist beyond dancing.
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interpaul
USA
551 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2021 : 7:17:53 PM
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| Wil, It is interesting bringing up threads from the past. There is a lot of wisdom collecting dust in these archives. Thanks for breathing new life into this topic. This is an interesting topic. Feeling empathy is a subjective state. I've certainly noticed a keener awareness of others. I've always been tuned into other people's suffering, yet, I've learned, when carefully testing, I am not 100% accurate in my sense of what others are experiencing. I do believe it is a useful practice to occaisionally ask others to check if your sense of their state is accurate. There was a time when kundalini was awakened in me when my small children and my dog seemed to be affected by intense energy states. Often this would occur at night time when everyone was sleeping. Some of this preceded AYP as I no longer do meditation practices at bedtime, nevertheless, I have experienced similar situations more recently. My daughter often would wake up and start sleep walking or vocalizing loudly at the exact moment I reached these intense states. My dog often will howl in her sleep as if she tunes into these states. I realize this is actually the opposite of empathy, as others in my environment seem to be feeling my energy. I do sense a greater awareness of their energy as well, suggesting it is bidirectional. |
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Wil
Sweden
160 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2021 : 2:13:42 PM
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Interesting input Interpaul. Reminds me of the cracks and noises that often appear when I do my rutine, cracks and pressure-like snaps that comes from walls or the computer.
You definetely put words to what I could use. The use of checking up on my empathy or thoughts. I can think of several times recently, even today, where I catch myself believing that people feel things about me.. It always returns to oneself as you know. You don't know until you check.
How about passive agression then? This complicates the issue, as many may feel things that they are repressing or unaware of. If your empathy is somewhat true, what is the use? It is the other peoples business? Well, just food for thought.
Although, checking up on your 'telepathic' empathy is what I firstly would like to find myself doing.
Peace
Wil, It is interesting bringing up threads from the past. There is a lot of wisdom collecting dust in these archives. Thanks for breathing new life into this topic. This is an interesting topic. Feeling empathy is a subjective state. I've certainly noticed a keener awareness of others. I've always been tuned into other people's suffering, yet, I've learned, when carefully testing, I am not 100% accurate in my sense of what others are experiencing. I do believe it is a useful practice to occaisionally ask others to check if your sense of their state is accurate. There was a time when kundalini was awakened in me when my small children and my dog seemed to be affected by intense energy states. Often this would occur at night time when everyone was sleeping. Some of this preceded AYP as I no longer do meditation practices at bedtime, nevertheless, I have experienced similar situations more recently. My daughter often would wake up and start sleep walking or vocalizing loudly at the exact moment I reached these intense states. My dog often will howl in her sleep as if she tunes into these states. I realize this is actually the opposite of empathy, as others in my environment seem to be feeling my energy. I do sense a greater awareness of their energy as well, suggesting it is bidirectional.
[/quote] |
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interpaul
USA
551 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2021 : 01:11:39 AM
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quote:
How about passive agression then? This complicates the issue, as many may feel things that they are repressing or unaware of. If your empathy is somewhat true, what is the use? It is the other peoples business? Well, just food for thought.
Wil, Passive aggression is aggression. If you are sensitive you will experience it intensely. I find it helpful to remind myself, when in the presence of someone who doesn't know how to communicate more directly, to name the energy (not always out loud but at least so I am aware of what is happening). Once aware how the other person is trying to consciously or more likely unconsciously manipulate I am in a better position to avoid getting drawn into their energy. I'm reminded of a movie with Robin Williams "What dreams may come". It nicely demonstrates how others emotional states can have dire consequences. |
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Picking up other's emotions
