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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 18 2007 : 5:46:38 PM
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I've gone through what seems like 5 stages so far in this lifetime.
The first stage was the phase where I had no concept of spirituality. There was God and religion. Yoga was a set of stretching exercises that kept your body fit and meditation was a technique used to calm the mind and relax, reduce stress. Spirituality was something that happened to the yogis and holy men dressed in saffron clothing and lived somewhere in the Himalayas.
Then I got introduced to spirituality and the wonders of visions and siddhis and bliss and finding God.... with that came trying to "get" and wanting to achieve and looking for signs that it works and aiming for a goal.. etc http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic...._ID=851#3743 I realized yoga was more than just a bunch of stretching exercises and meditation was wayyyyy more powerful than just a stress reducing technique.
Then I came to a stage where I realized there was a mind, an ego and I tried to understand my mind with my mind. http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....TOPIC_ID=968 . I also got tired of trying and looking and kinda realized I had to stop looking and do my practice without any expectations. I had to let go and let flow. These were still concepts and I was still trying to get it all with my mind.
Then came the stage where I started watching the mind doing its things and not be involved in it. This involved understanding beyond the mind. http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=2794 , http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=2794#25395 . I could let go and let flow. Everything I was trying to get with my mind, I got without my mind and realized I knew all of this all along.. all I had to do was drop my mind's non-stop commentary/translation/explanation of every second of my life and not be limited to the mind's understanding of everything. Be ready to accept what came my way.. without having to dissect it or explain it or understand it.. and when I stopped trying to "get it" with my mind.. I "got it" without my mind. (Have you ever tried listening to a person or reading something without your mind translating every word for you.. try it.. it really is possible to listen and understand without your mind translating the words for you. Till a while back I did not realize, I never did listen to anyone.. I listened to what my mind thought they were saying.)
And now I seem to be in the fifth stage.. where I realize there is no "me". For some time now, I have been saying.. whatever has to happen will happen, it's all Ma's/God's will and the more we allow and let go.. the less resistance we put up.. the easier it gets for life to flow. For some time now I have also been saying.. I do nothing.. Ma /God does it all. But all this time, I had a concept that life energy/Ma's blessings flowed through me.. I was Shanti, in this body, very much alive. Everything was being done to me, through me... I heard and read many many many times the words "there is no Me"... but just did not get it. Few days back the "me" dropped. There is not just no "I" doing anything.. there is no "I". The best way to explain the experience:
It felt like the invisible man. Just like the clothes and bandage and gloves made him real/visible.. its this form that makes me Shanti.. Just as he is not there when his bandage, hat, gloves, clothes, shoes come off and yet he can do everything... so too the "Me" dissolves when the form Shanti drops and yet I function like I always did. I have a headache.. I feel the pain but I don't live the pain.. I am tired and achy.. every muscle in my body hurts.. but a part of me has no association with it.. there is pain.. which feels like a dream.. I feel it.. but it does not stop me from anything because I am not living it. I feel stress, I get into ego.. then it dissolves and is forgotten. Every morning is a like the first day of my life. If you ask me.. so what did you do yesterday.. my mind kinda goes in a panic (and it's stories.. see you are losing your mind  .).. since there is no resident memory of it in my active mind.. and yet if I think I can tell you exactly what I did yesterday with perfect clarity. Living in the present has never been so natural. Once again, it is so hard to put this experience in words.. this is so beyond the mind and so beyond words.
None of these were stand alone phases.. they all kinda merge into each other.. but is a beautiful evolution. It reminds me of the butterfly and Yogani's reference of the butterfly emerging from a cocoon, in his book The Secrets Of Wilder, has a different depth/beauty to it. When I was 37 (loooong years) I looked at my life and thought, I have wasted all these years of my life, if I knew about spirituality earlier I could have lived so much better and had such a productive life and would have found Ma by now.. and today 3 years later.. I feel like the 40 years is such a short period in the life times I have gone through and the years/life times I still have to go through. And would not have wanted even one second of this lifetime to be different. I have never felt so much heartfelt love and gratitude for life.
Thanks for listening. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2007 : 02:36:12 AM
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Thank you for a beautiful post, Shanti!  Terrific start of a new day to read about the transformation!
Lovely metaphore with the invisible man! |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2007 : 11:39:04 AM
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Fantastic Shweta, really delighted for you
Congratulations
Louis |
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Richard
United Kingdom
857 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2007 : 3:09:27 PM
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Lovely inspiring post Shweta, you really are moving on aren't you  |
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sadhak
India
604 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2007 : 11:11:44 AM
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Neat Shweta... you've put it all so gracefully. A very uplifting post.
Sadhak tries to bow gracefully to Shweta, trips, and goes right through the bandages and all. It feels good to bump into the invisible yogi, people! |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2007 : 12:10:36 PM
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Ya know.. it feels kinda strange being congratulated .. I mean you get congratulated when you achieve something.. and truthfully there is nothing to achieve here.. no progress.. no moving ahead.. Doesn't feel like that.
But I get the sentiments behind the wishes above and I thank you all from my heart for sharing these sentiments and gratitude with me. |
Edited by - Shanti on Dec 20 2007 12:38:27 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2007 : 12:35:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Ya know.. it feels kinda strange being congratulated
That's because that which is being congratulated is that which was transcended.
Phrases like "I'm making spiritual progress" or "I'm awakened" are uttered by mind. And when others say such things about you, that praise is received by mind, too. Mind is being complimented for its success in transcending mind. The individual Shanti is being complimented for being less of an individual Shanti. It's a little bit like sending cookies to a diabetic in recognition of her lowered blood sugar!
While it's the nature of mind to identify with and take credit for everything, this is the most galling of all examples. Also the stickiest. At best, it feels, as you say, odd to hear. At worst, mind reasserts its authority by making this all a trip it's taking. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Dec 20 2007 12:58:42 PM |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2007 : 12:52:51 PM
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| Wow - just read this thread. I've followed your path for several years now, Shanti, and know that you've been through some very difficult times to "arrive" at this stage. I won't congratulate you, but tell you that you're truly an inspiration. :) |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2007 : 4:51:06 PM
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quote:
Shanti said: Ya know.. it feels kinda strange being congratulated.. I mean you get congratulated when you achieve something.. and truthfully there is nothing to achieve here.. no progress.. no moving ahead.. Doesn't feel like that.
Beautifully put Shweta, no one there to congratulate, just a load of bandages(invisible man.)
quote:
And would not have wanted even one second of this lifetime to be different. I have never felt so much heartfelt love and gratitude for life.
Gratitude to Ma/Kali/God/Life’s unfolding, and a glass of Lassi to that celebration of joy and love
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2009 : 09:01:01 AM
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| beautiful |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Jul 09 2009 : 12:06:02 PM
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Happy
Love,
Jill |
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Five Stages.
