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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 11:33:39 AM
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Longing has been discussed in the forum before.. There are some excellent discussions on this here
Someone wrote to me about her path and the heartbreak and longing she was going through after her kundalini awoke.
With her permission, I would like to share a part of what I replied to her. I spend a lot of time trying to think of what to reply.. and had a lovely email all chalked out in my head.. but when I started writing.. this is what flowed out.. It took me by surprise.. and was a kinda ahha!!! moment for me too.. and maybe it will help someone else.
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When kundalini awakes.. it brings about a lot of confusion with it.. reason.. it is something we .. with our human conditioned minds cannot explain. We try to attach a meaning to the feelings that arise... with words/events/feelings that we know and are familiar/comfortable with. We try to attach a meaning to every feeling.. but that leaves us frustrated and feeling incomplete/hollow/empty.
We feel an intense longing in the heart.. and we associate it with the people closest to us... and try to fill this void by trying to get physical/mental support that we know and associate with a longing.. right from childhood, when we are lonely and hurting.. we turn to a parent for fulfilment.. then a friend, a sibling, a partner, a relationship, children,... When kunadalini awakes.. we do the same.. because our physical body/mind does not know any better and tries to pacify the feelings that arise by trying to find a physical form to dig its claws into and hang on.
It took me a long time to realize that this longing .. the constant pain in my heart.. could not be satisfied by a human.. what this longing is, is for shakti (kundalini) to meet shiva.. The more we try to satisfy this longing by attaching the feelings to a physical form.. the more we try to justify the feelings with our minds..the more unsatisfied we become..
The love and longing you feel in your heart.. turn it into bhakti.. turn it into love for God.. let it go.. let it flow.. feel it to the max.. and then try to convert this love towards God. AYP will help you with that.. Continue with your meditation.. there is nothing that will open you to understanding this better than meditation.. as you move along.. you will begin to feel/realize things that you did not know was possible.
Whatever happens, happens for a reason.. you had to feel this longing.. and the human doors had to be closed for you to experience the higher.. It is no one's fault.. it is all in God's hands.. we foolishly sit here and think we are making things happen..
I love an example that Jim had posted ...
When a child is sitting in the car with a toy steering wheel.. and he turns the the toy steering wheel left.. and his father happens to turn the car left.. he is very happy.. he feels he is controlling the car.. Then he turns the steering wheel right.. but his dad turns left.. now he is confused.. what happened here.. how come my steering wheel is not controlling the car anymore.. so he gets upset.. and tries so hard to make the car go the right way again..
It is the same with us.. we feel we control our lives but it is in God's hands.. and if we just let God drive us around.. it becomes so much simpler to get home.
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cosmic_trail
2 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 1:30:47 PM
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| Shanti, Are you trying to say that just because we have an intense longing in the heart, we associate ourselves with people closest to us, when we are lonely and hurting, we turn to a parent for fulfillment, then a friend, a sibling, a partner, a relationship, children, then viola one day we realize the kundalini awakening, we then disassociate ourselves from the very same friends, sibling, partner, relationship & children who were our support and strength, are we not leaving them stranded and vulnerable, in turn we just used them as a stepping mat to achieve our own personal goals, which we may keep changing as we progress in life |
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NagoyaSea
424 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 2:09:23 PM
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Shweta, thank you for sharing this story. I too, have felt the longing of which you speak, but perhaps a little differently. There was no pain or sorrow, but the longing was more of a desire to re-unite with the universal love, with all that is. When I felt these strong longings I would look around me and feel surrounded by all that is, separate, but yet not. And I completely agree with you when you say that AYP, meditation and our other practices help here. They help me balance, and move my thoughts and actions toward spirit and a life of service. And through these things we grow.
Welcome to the forum cosmic trail.
light and love,
Kathy |
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Richard
United Kingdom
857 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 6:10:41 PM
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HI cosmic trail welcome to the forum. You havent said if you are practicing the AYP system let us know.
I think you are completely misinterpreting Shanties post here. What you are really asking is
Does rising enlightenment make people indifferent to others?
While there is an in-between stage (what Shanti is talking about), I think the answer is ultimately just the opposite. In the end, we find our oneness (self) in all others and become very sensitive for what everyone feels. That is the rise of spiritual compassion, and it becomes the primary driving force in all our actions -- service to others.
She is not talking about a cessation of physical love for children or a partner she is saying that when you have awakening Kundalini your brain misinterprets the intense longing you get in the heart for a signal that you are not getting the love you need from your relationships with your family and partners and then after a time of intense pain you realise that longing is in fact for god it is Shakti seeking Shiva and no human can ever fill that need. No way does this mean you abandon the ones you feel physical love for nor that you have used them as stepping stones on your spiritual path.
Hope this helps  |
Edited by - Richard on Apr 09 2007 6:14:37 PM |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 9:33:53 PM
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| Thanks for sharing a beautiful letter, Shweta. |
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Kundalini Longing...
