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FakeYogi
India
100 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 06 2017 : 08:33:39 AM
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Moderator note: This topic has been split from here
Congrats Nirguna.
I'm here on the 11th year with AYP and there is no ecstatic conductivity of any kind. Time to call it quits? May be try a different type of yoga? |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 12:27:01 AM
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Dear FakeYogi - 11 yrs on AYP and no ecstatic conductivity? Impossible! Maybe you are just bot recognizing it for what it is. I have not paid much attention to your current mix of practices, I will read up on your postings. You mean you have no experience of any of the signs I (and others) have mentioned above?
Sey  |
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FakeYogi
India
100 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 02:52:49 AM
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| None at all, SeySorciere. Actually realized it is the 12th year, since I started in 2006. All I seem to have gotten in life is deep depression (not saying my practices caused it) and can't help feel sad that for all my sincerity of twice daily practices, atleast I should have been shielded against depression if nothing else. |
Edited by - FakeYogi on Feb 07 2017 03:46:41 AM |
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Ecdyonurus
Switzerland
479 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 04:19:40 AM
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| Hi FakeYogi, sorry to read that. Although I don't know much about you and your practice, I would suggest to consider the possibility that your current experience can be the very result of your spiritual practices or at least have a strong link with it. Maybe your practices are not well suited for you. Since some depressions are a form of introversion imbalance, meditation techniques can make introversion even deeper, leading to greater imbalance. For that reason, claims about meditation being a good thing to cure depression must be taken with caution. Of course, this is only my personal experience, and your case could be totally different. But even then, inquiring your practices is a good thing to do from time to time anyway. By the way, in case of depression a skilled medical yoga teacher can help A LOT in order to enhance extroversion. Wish you all the best. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 06:34:29 AM
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Hi Fakeyogi,
So sorry to read this. I don't know what your practices are and I don't have a solution. What I would like to mention is that most of us also need asana or physical exercise, may be you already do that.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 06:43:05 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by FakeYogi
None at all, SeySorciere. Actually realized it is the 12th year, since I started in 2006. All I seem to have gotten in life is deep depression (not saying my practices caused it) and can't help feel sad that for all my sincerity of twice daily practices, atleast I should have been shielded against depression if nothing else.
Hi Fakeyogi,
Sorry to hear that you are not experiencing the benefits of yoga practice.
What are your current practices?
Christi |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 08:29:59 AM
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| Don't give up. Yoga is cleaning the system. As Christi mentioned do share your current set of practices and we can help refine it. I started mid September 2014. So far, I can sort get the sensation of "sunburn from the inside" around the nape of my neck. 2017, my dreams have become more vivid. End of September, I switched to the first enhancement of the AYP mantra. |
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Ecdyonurus
Switzerland
479 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 09:31:10 AM
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| Hi Jusmail, please don't mind if I disagree: the belief that "yoga is cleaning the system" is potentially dangerous, because too much cleaning through yoga can become really harmful. Soap is cleaning, but if you use the wrong soap for your type of skin and/or if you overdo you are in trouble. |
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FakeYogi
India
100 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 11:01:07 AM
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My practices are
10 min SPB
10 min chin pump
10 min YMK
20 min DM
I used to do the above at both sittings. As nothing much is happening anyway I recently changed the morning sitting to 30 min SPB and 20 min DM, hoping that longer SPB would lead to deeper concentration and hence better effect.
I don't think my lack of success is any surprise given the 6 years of nocturnal emissions. In this thread you can see the OP has mentioned about his brahmacharya. As I mentioned elsewhere, I recently discovered that increasing Khumbakas (I had dropped them from my practice in the middle for many years) was the only thing that reduced nocturnal emissions. But yet to see any progress. Eating fish and redmeat seem to cause this cruel rape as well, last night I was raped coz I ate a few pieces of meat yesterday, and my eyes keep welling up all day from sadness for loss of semen.
It is not easy to fight the depression because it is not just a a 'I feel down' thing. It came with its cousins erectile dysfunction and insomnia, at the same time, and all 3 feed one another in a vicious cycle. In fact they are all fundamentally one and the same problem - some disturbance in the nervous system. I have been fighting this for so many years now, and not living a life at all, that I'm so vexed now and even suspect that the good old Yoga might be contributing to it. There are no medically identifiable causes of my E.D. problem. Joke of the day: If suffering is the word for what Im going through, getting nailed on the cross is having fun.
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Edited by - FakeYogi on Feb 07 2017 11:20:49 AM |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 11:28:25 AM
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Hi FakeYogi,
I'm assuming you are doing all these practices in Siddhasana. I don't see Samyama or Asanas on the list. Or may be cut back on the duration of each practice and see how that feels.
Outside of sitting practices. Have you tried dancing? Just put on some music and flow to it.
Do you look at the sky and get mesmerized by the vastness and beauty. The warmth of the sun on the face and body. The way the body feels when the water touches it in the shower. Gazing at a flower and getting lost in it. Walking barefoot in nature but even in the house and feeling the texture of the tiles, the wood, the carpet as you walk through the different areas of your home. The sweetness of water when you drink it.The feeling of the sheets when you sleep at night. Some ideas to get out of the head and be in the body.Surrounding yourself with company who uplift and make you laugh. Volunteer. Do something nice for others.
Try seeing beauty in little things in Life. Ecstatic Conductivity will start rising without a doubt.
You've posted few times on the struggles with Brahmacharya.So sorry to hear about it. Sometimes an openness and lightness in the heart is all that takes for the energy to move upwards.
Much Love,
Sunyata
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Edited by - sunyata on Feb 07 2017 11:40:59 AM |
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FakeYogi
India
100 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 12:57:03 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
I'm assuming you are doing all these practices in Siddhasana. I don't see Samyama or Asanas on the list. Or may be cut back on the duration of each practice and see how that feels.
I never felt comfortable in cross legged position so I put a soft spongey ball where the heel is supposed to be. I don't do Asanas, but I try to do Nauli for 5 min a day although I can't seem to master it yet.
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
The sweetness of water when you drink it.The feeling of the sheets when you sleep at night. Some ideas to get out of the head and be in the body.Surrounding yourself with company who uplift and make you laugh. Volunteer. Do something nice for others.
Try seeing beauty in little things in Life. Ecstatic Conductivity will start rising without a doubt.
I pretty much live inside my head. Natural beauty doesn't do much to do, it is out there, I'm in here. Although I still enjoy watching movies and documentaries. I avoid company coz like someone said in a movie if a man is 35 and never married he is either gay or damaged. I'm the latter and I avoid getting close to people (including my father) for fear of getting hurt by their questions. And it is no imagined fear, it happens every time. I don't know if it is an Indian thing. You can't get even casually friendly with someone like at workplace without them unnecessarily poking into your personal details. |
Edited by - FakeYogi on Feb 07 2017 1:01:02 PM |
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dv2014
USA
93 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 1:29:32 PM
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Hi FakeYogi,
Just want to mention something that helped me along the way, which is a supported wheel pose - again a discovery from the AYP forums (unfortunately I can't locate that thread now), which basically boils down to lying on the back, but with one or two yoga blocks under your back, thereby arching the back. It is something similar to what is shown here: http://www.breathenorfolk.com/blog/...roken-heart/ (second photo from left on the top row there).
This pose helped me to graduate to wheel pose and also made a huge difference in the breathing and bodily sensation of prana movement.
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Ecdyonurus
Switzerland
479 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 3:31:26 PM
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Hi dv2014, poses like that one are exactly what a skilled medical yoga teacher would suggest for somebody suffering from depression.
@ FakeYogi: Sunyata gave you a very good advice. Avoid things that make you alone/introverted, go for activities that make you happy. And, yes, maybe it's time to change your yoga practices. By the way, the activities suggested by Sunyata are yoga practices too despite the fact that they look quite informal compared to sitting practices. Wish you all the best. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 4:54:19 PM
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Hi Fakeyogi,
Your practice is quite heavy on energy stimulation without so much emphasis on the silence side of the equation. I would agree with Sunyata, that adding samyama would be helpful.
And I would agree with others here, that you need to get out more and engage with the world. The importance of engaging in normal social activity when not in practices, is stressed throughout the AYP main lessons. Going beyond normal social activity, service to others (karma yoga) is a very easy way to purify the heart.
Engaging in asana practice before sitting practices is also very important, as it will help you to come more out of your head and into your body. I would also recommend that you engage in physical exercise every day, especially outdoors, as it will improve your connection with the earth and with nature.
You should not measure the success, or lack of success of any yogic practice by whether or not you experience ecstatic conductivity in a certain time-frame. Yogani has given a number of ways by which we can measure the success of yogic practice, but that is not one of them. The reason for this is that some people can have particularly stubborn karma, that can be hard to shift, even after many years of practice. We spend lifetimes getting ourselves into the condition that we are in, and sometimes it can take more than a dozen or so years to get ourselves unstuck.
You are very fortunate that you live in India. The whole country has a very high spiritual vibration and you can make use of that if you want to, simply by taking part in what is going on around you.
At the end of the day, of course, it is your call. 
Christi |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 9:11:07 PM
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quote:
I pretty much live inside my head. Natural beauty doesn't do much to do, it is out there, I'm in here. Although I still enjoy watching movies and documentaries. I avoid company coz like someone said in a movie if a man is 35 and never married he is either gay or damaged. I'm the latter and I avoid getting close to people (including my father) for fear of getting hurt by their questions. And it is no imagined fear, it happens every time. I don't know if it is an Indian thing. You can't get even casually friendly with someone like at workplace without them unnecessarily poking into your personal details.
Great advice all around. In my humble opinion, this whole passage above is filled with attachment: to isolation, to living up to others thoughts/expectations, to avoidance, to fear, to exposure, to self hatred. With all this negative internalization, it is no wonder your nadis refuse to open. Samyama will surely help with programming a surrender attitude, for you need to let go of all your current attachment, they are nothing but shackles. Asanas, nature, and service to others get you out of your head, where all these attachments reside. Observe when things are going negative, and decide you no longer like that feeling and give it away. Passing sutras in samyama will show you how to do it.
Don't give up on yoga to change status quo. Good luck my forum friend. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2017 : 11:44:44 PM
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Dear FakeYogi,
I would recommend that you STOP all practices for at least a month (this will give you a breather to reset practices) - do what Sunyata says - go for walks in nature instead, try and interact with people. Then start again as per Christi's recommendation - asanas + 10 mins SPB + 20 mins DM + 10 mins Samayama. Keep to those times, cut out all other energy stimulating practices and don't forget to get rest. Then go out and engage with the world.
I dropped you a personal email - hope you received it.
Oh - and please change your forum name - calling yourself a Fakeyogi is already half the damage done. How about TrueYogi? 
My humble contribution and all the best
Sey
Sey
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FakeYogi
India
100 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2017 : 03:14:23 AM
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All great advices above. Just to clarify in case I gave out the wrong impression, I have been actively researching on the internet about my conditions, trying out various supplements, acupuncture and what not. Nothing helped. About karma yoga, I intuitively figured that out already, that I should try to reach out and help others, because I can't think of a reason Providence has left me alive but impotent, if not to be of some help to others. About people, I don't care about anyone other than my family and relatives because there must be a reason why I'm born related to certain people, so these must assume priority in one's mind. So I did get my mom to meditate and do Pranayama twice daily. I tried to get my stubborn sister to meditate and offered her a monthly reward for doing so, but she is so stubborn she backed out after trying a few months. I had been staying away from talking to my dad for a few years, falsely appearing to angry about some things he did in the past, but the real reason being he might get to ask about my sexual problems or suspecting so. But seeing him age and fearing he might die one day, I made reconciliations and started talking to him briefly, thinking hell with it even if he finds out about my E.D., and also gave him a copy of the Deep meditation book. I fear more for my grandparents who are very aged, but can't bring myself close to them because they will only scold me for being single and not getting married, and I won't be able to get past their scoldings and have a productive talk. I did tell my mom to tell them how to meditate, but she wouldn't. I stay away from my cousins, aunts and uncles coz there will be one thing in their mind, that I'm their middle aged elder cousin who is either gay or damaged, and some of them ask outright when am I marrying, and I can't say 'after I cure my E.D'.
The only way I could truly and fearlessly mingle with my relatives is to cure my E.D. and go to them with a wife in hand. So you see the cyclical nature of the argument, that if to cure my E.D. I have to be more outgoing, then it contradicts the above? That has been tearing me apart. That's why I have been staying alone in my apartment researching all about my conditions and trying to cure it, but with no success. If you mean karma yoga like volunteering time at an orphanage, it is just not my thing, although I donate some amount every year through established NGOs. Planting trees, yes, but I would consider it a waste of time until I fix my problems down there, and there is one more medical research paper to read on the topic, figuratively speaking.
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Edited by - FakeYogi on Feb 08 2017 05:55:30 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2017 : 07:10:19 AM
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Dear FakeYogi,
It is not easy but you received great advices above. There is a lot to thinking about....All that thinking is making it worse, this could be even the reason for sexual problems.
Hopefully you will go out and tell a friend or family member your fear and worries. You made already a start by writing it down. Get yourself together and go out, really, nature will nourish you.
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Edited by - Charliedog on Feb 08 2017 07:12:02 AM |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2017 : 10:14:49 AM
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Hi FakeYogi,
Good to hear that you are getting help for your condition.
If your don't mind me saying this-Are you going to wait to fully live your life until all the conditions you have listed are met? Do you realize that life is passing by as you spend all your time in your head?
If you don't want to spend time with family and relatives. Go out and make some friends, travel, pick up a hobby.
Instead of saying it's not my thing. May be say I'm going to give it a try.If you don't want to volunteer in an orphanage, then try a nursing home. There are so many different options. You have a choice in every given moment. You can follow the same pattern and come to the same result. Or make a change for a different result. As Gandhi said " Be the change you want to see".
One of the Mahavakyas in Sanskrit- "Aham Brahmasmi" means I am Brahman or I am the creator of my universe.
Life's too short, make the best out of it. Continue with your practices and start making changes as to how you view Life.
P.S- It's completely normal to have bad days but you need to snap out of it after a day.
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Edited by - sunyata on Feb 08 2017 10:26:05 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2017 : 10:43:07 AM
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| And to those family members who question your status, say, with a smile on your face and lightness in spirit "I am not gay, I am not damaged, and with guidance from God I am a work in progress." Repeat it with every inquiry, for that is all the answer you need to give them and yourself. |
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delta33
Canada
100 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2017 : 9:34:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by FakeYogi
I don't think my lack of success is any surprise given the 6 years of nocturnal emissions. In this thread you can see the OP has mentioned about his brahmacharya. As I mentioned elsewhere, I recently discovered that increasing Khumbakas (I had dropped them from my practice in the middle for many years) was the only thing that reduced nocturnal emissions. But yet to see any progress. Eating fish and redmeat seem to cause this cruel rape as well, last night I was raped coz I ate a few pieces of meat yesterday, and my eyes keep welling up all day from sadness for loss of semen.
oh my
try blocking
do blocking in your dreams too
yes it's training wheels
but you can retain more semen
anytime you are close to ejaculating
ask
am i dreaming right now?
and block! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2017 : 09:08:05 AM
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Hi Fakeyogi,
quote:
If you mean karma yoga like volunteering time at an orphanage, it is just not my thing, although I donate some amount every year through established NGOs. Planting trees, yes, but I would consider it a waste of time until I fix my problems down there, and there is one more medical research paper to read on the topic, figuratively speaking.
Yes, on a basic level, karma yoga means things like volunteering in an orphanage, or planting trees. It can also include any kind of action that is done to benefit others, such as helping kids to learn to read in the local school, or helping your neighbours with tasks that they cannot do.
On a higher level it is actually the performance of actions without any attachment to the fruits of that action. So it means acting as best we can in any situation, but not being attached to the outcome of that action. If it goes well, we are content, but also if it does not go well, we are content. So our own happiness and peace of mind becomes something that is independent of the outcome of actions. When this happens, we are better able to turn towards the divine, rather than remaining stuck on the level of the mind.
Here is a quote from the Bhagavad Gita which you may find helpful:
"Action normally ties the human being to the world of birth and death, but not when performed as an act of sacrifice- not when the person offers up both the action and the fruits of the action to Divinity. Then, the action is non-binding. One's job in life is to act selflessly, even sacramentally, without thinking of personal benefit. It is very possible for you to make great moral and spiritual progress in worldly life through action and yet not become fastened to the negative consequences of your actions. [Bagavad Gita 3:9]
Christi |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2017 : 8:46:23 PM
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Hi FakeYogi,
Thank you for the courage to talk about the problems you deal with in such an honest way. The fact that you can talk about them is a good sign. It is a sign that you are ready to proceed in a different way. Twelve years of practice, with depression, D.E. and insomnia, have been a long experiment. You probably got some benefits, and you are probably ready to try something new. Getting out of the house is the first step. I can't tell you that things will solve, and you will get a wife. If it is to be so, I believe that she will come to you no matter. But it could be that this life has some other plan for you. Make the best of the life you have now - use your skills, learn something new, make a change in the world, help someone. Stop focusing on yourself, and focus on the others. If someone thinks of you as "the guy with the problem...", that person is not your friend. Let it go. Find new friends. Make something meaningful of your life, and people will remember you that way. Maybe you could teach yoga and meditation. Maybe something else. You sound like an intelligent, articulate man. Find your dharma - your mission in life. For sure, your mission in life is not to wait for something that might come or not. Your mission is not to please your relatives. Only you know why you are in this world. Make a list of things you would like to do, and challenge yourself to do some of it every day.
Let us know how it goes! Wishing you the best! |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2017 : 12:30:06 AM
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Everyone has given you excellent suggestions already. Having asked for your practices, we offer you the following suggestions:
1. If you want to suspend practices for a month, that is perfectly fine.
2. In case you decide to continue practices, you have to reduce the chin pump and YMK. Lesson 385 gives the ideal break up with regard to practices. Chin pump and YMK are to be done for 2 or 3 minutes. Also, you may alternate chin pump with bastrika or Jalandhara on different days.
3. For depression and ED, do seek medical help.
4. Do add your name to the samyama list on the AYP website.
5. You can try simple techniques like amaroli and water fasting for further spiritual growth.
6. If you haven't considered mantra enhancements, read lessons 116, 186, and 369.
7. Gems.
If you are shy about interacting with others in your social circle, make a start by interacting more in the AYP forum. There are so many gems (forum topics and fellow practitioners), and by reading them your heart will surely open. While yogani is concise, posters like Kirtanman relish the opportunity to write.
You might enjoy this great post:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=1420#10859
and this thread too:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ms=ayp,voice
Wishing you happy practice |
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Nirguna
Australia
57 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2017 : 04:13:42 AM
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I am so sorry to come to this tread so late. The tread started with Fake Yogi congratulating me for my conductivity. Thank you.
After reading the whole tread and advices given by more experienced I have to agree on Samyama aspect.
Yes, conductivity started with Samyama in my case. I noticed something new and strange sensation in the lower back initially.
12 years of practice and not experiencing much is hard to imagine. I complain about slow progress.
I totally feel you Fake Yogi. I am not experienced enough to give advice but yes Samyama kicked the conductivity in. So, I would agree on adding Samyama to your practice.
Maybe after some break.
Please let us know how you are going.
WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FAKE YOGI!!! |
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Amelia047
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2019 : 12:15:04 PM
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I know I’m 2 years late to the party here and I don’t know that any of the original writers will even see this but I had to chime in here because some things said in this thread made me quite angry.
First, introversion is not something that needs to be overcome, and extroversion is not something that needs to be “enhanced” as Ecdyonurus said above. They are both personality traits that you should in no way be ashamed of because that’s the way you are. I’m so sick of the attitude in the US that introversion is a bad thing, it’s so not. That’s the way you are. Being an introvert DOES NOT mean that you are letting “life pass you by.”
And to give this person the advice to say to himself “I am not gay.” Whether he is or isn’t is absolutely irrelevant and it was not adamantly denied by the OP.
This is the first time that I’ve been disappointed in this forum and greatly at that. Self-acceptance and learning how to enjoy life as you truly are is what will help depression, not trying to change characteristics about yourself that you were born with. Wow. |
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Slow progress, ED and nocturnal emmissions
