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Untitled
USA
5 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 30 2014 : 1:39:40 PM
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Hi everyone! I'm a new member of the AYP forums, and this is my first post and topic. If there's a more appropriate subforum that this topic can go into, feel free to move it, as I was not sure when to post this.
Long story short, I have found that the more I meditate, the more the past "haunts" me. I have some deep rooted anger issues over some previous relationships, and I find that with meditation, I am getting angry more about the past. I know that this must be happening because my chakras are cleansing themselves, and bringing problems to the surface.
I know that the best thing would be to go to counseling, but because of various reasons, I would prefer not to. Keeping that in mind, my question is this:
Will I overcome my pain and bring myself understanding and peace if I keep meditating, or will my anger keep me from spiritually progressing?
I question this because I wonder if my anger is a roadblock, and that I will not go to the next stage in my spiritual growth until I overcome it. I guess a good analogy would be if, you're driving on the road, and there's a roadblock. You carefully dismantle the road block, move it off the road, and then get back in your car and continue driving. In this case, dismantling the roadblock and moving it off the road would be considered counseling and working through your problems. I wonder if I can just run through the roadblock with my car, which I see as just meditating. Will my car be able to run through it, or will the car crash in the roadblock and not go forward?
I also wonder that, even if this is possible, how hard would it be? I suppose the answer to that is different from each individual and situation, and cannot be easily answered. Will this anger put me years behind? I know that I can do chakra cleansing meditations, and those give me a temporary relief, but it's not getting to the root of what is causing my chakras to get all "dirty" in the first place. Can meditation also get to the root of the problem? |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2014 : 2:45:19 PM
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The answer is yes. Yes meditation will help you address your anger, and yes it will hold you back spiritually. Counseling could speed up the block, but your awareness there is a block at all already helps you. Meditation over time will purify. I guess it's up to you how aggressive you want to address anger.
Yes, your car can drive through it, and yes, the possibility exists in might damage the vehicle. It is repairable. You are purifying all issues at the same time; if this is a major issue, it will take longer to address.
Until now, you've been shielding your eyes from this "haunting". Your intuition is telling you to take a good look at it, to make change a desire, and meditation provides you the lens. |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2014 : 5:36:57 PM
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Welcome to the forums!!! Just being with the emotions and not getting involved in it has helped.
Each time a past event/scenario arise, just watch it, don't try to run away from it or get involved with the story. The event will lose it's grip slowly. Sometimes, it will pull you and that's okay. Just continue watching the "anger". Meditation will make this process easier.
Inner silence helps a lot. With continued AYP practices, you will see the results yourself. It won't happen overnight but slowly over months and years. You'll be surprised to see that you even feel compassion for that indiviual/indiviuals. Just keep up the practice and self pace when required. Hope this helps.
Love,
Sunyata |
Edited by - sunyata on Jul 01 2014 09:35:16 AM |
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Untitled
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2014 : 6:58:22 PM
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| Thank you Dogboy and Sunyata. I appreciate the feedback! Both posts were very informative. I am curious though - how does one watch an emotion without becoming involved? I have heard of this technique before, but I don't quite understand it. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2014 : 01:56:18 AM
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Dear Untitled - In the first stage of deep meditation the result will lead to Rise of the Witness. You will become aware of yourself as Awareness, then it will become easier to observe thoughts and emotions without 'getting involved'. So I would advice gentleness and patience with yourself. Just do the practices regularly as if you are brushing your teeth with no expectations. Then within weeks you will have developed calmness and the Witness.
Sey |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2014 : 09:49:08 AM
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Agree with Sey. If you try and do it, it will feel mentally exhausting.
quote:
I am curious though - how does one watch an emotion without becoming involved?
An example- When you are driving, the scenary passes by, the houses, people, trees. You notice them but are not involved. Just keep meditating and with the rise of witness this process becomes effortless.
After you are established in Deep Meditation (which may be weeks to months), try adding Samyama. Daily life will be a miracle. Problems don't disappear but you will be able to take it like a grain of salt(most days ). If all fails, surrending issues, problems, emotions to your "ishta' helps a lot.
I would not worry about chakra cleansing. In AYP these happens under the hood. Just do you daily deep meditation and see for yourself. And yes, please be easy on yourself
Love,
Sunyata |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2014 : 5:37:01 PM
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Hi Untitled,
over time spiritual practices will purify the anger topic. Most of it is stored in the third chakra and has its element fire. If things get too firy, better cool down ;)
There are additional means to help with this process. All things you can do to clean your stomach area is helpful, from the grossest things like looking at what you eat, purifying the digestion system (see book Diet, Shatkarmas and Amaroli for lots of good advice). Then asanas are good to channel the energy and let it flow more smoothly in the system which will balance too much fire-activity. The same goes for pranayama like nadi sodhana and sbp, both bring about good balance and purification on all levels. Meditation will help to loosen subtle stuff including deeper causes of the past relating all and everythign including anger.
It is up to you how you handle it, the easiest variant is practice in doses which remain smooth and easy with daily life.
Btw, the released anger will not block you or make you "go back". Just let it be and if it gets too hot, jump into cold water, go to the nature until you have cooled down enough (= Avoid other people if possible ^^
Peace and enjoy the ride :) |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2014 : 4:14:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Untitled
Will I overcome my pain and bring myself understanding and peace if I keep meditating, or will my anger keep me from spiritually progressing?[/i]
I really don't think so. On the contrary, anger, or whatever emotional issues we may be facing, can be drivers for spiritual progress. As long as you turn it into desire to progress and determination to practice. "There is a crack in everything/That's how the light comes in" right?
Accepting your anger will help as well. Sometimes running away from emotions can cause problems in itself. I used to suffer from anxiety. I remember waking up in the middle of the night once, feeling anxious without any known reason whatsoever. It wasn't the first time, but this once I just decided to 'plunge' into this anxiety, see where it took me. I remember feeling overwhelmed and breaking into a sweat, then I started to slowly calm down. It was an effort and i felt pretty tired the next day, but it was the last time the anxiety woke me up. Long story short - what happens if you try to face your anger? Might you be able to simply come through it and realise it wasn't such a big deal?
Of course the most important piece of advice has already been given -that is to keep your daily meditation practice going. Then you will get to the point of acknowledging your emotions without your core being involved.
Best wishes and keep us posted.
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Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Jul 02 2014 4:31:52 PM |
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Untitled
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2014 : 10:40:54 PM
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| Thank you everyone for your feedback. I will definitely keep all advice in mind. :) |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2014 : 12:03:29 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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thank_g
India
10 Posts |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2014 : 09:58:35 AM
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Hi,
Thank you for posting this question. Your situation is typical for anyone on the yoga path. Sooner or later, strong memories, emotions, and impulses start bubbling to the surface of the consciousness while in meditation. You feel that no progress is happening. You feel that the meditation is not going anywhere. In fact, these streams of memories and emotions are a sign that good things are happening. Your meditation is digging deep inside, and the purifications are experienced as a release of emotions.
You are wondering if you should continue with meditation or go to counseling. How do meditation and counseling compare? Meditation explores all the areas of the psyche, including the profound zones of the unconscious. Yoga sees the unconscious as the most serious obstacle that the yogin has to overcome. This is because the unconscious impulses and emotions want to emerge into light, they want - by actualizing themselves - to become parts of the consciousness. Meditation opposes this tendency of the unconscious to keep "producing" mental material. The unconscious "fears" meditation, because meditation bring eventually the extinctions of the manifestations of the mind. Meditation works to stop the latencies from becoming manifest. The unconscious is the source of everything that wants to manifest itself. Once a latency is brought into manifestation, it vanishes - only to be replaced by a new latency that looks for a way to the surface of the consciousness. These manifestations of the mind have no end.
Psychotherapy and counseling help you become aware of the latencies coming up from the unconscious. When you become aware of these latencies, they lose their power to control your life. That means, you will still remember this past experience, you might even feel some anger, but you will be quite detached and see it as a thing of the past. However, psychotherapy and counseling do not stop the process of the manifestations of the mind. New unconscious impulses will come up, become conscious, vanish, and make space for the next latencies.
In meditation, the mechanism that links the conscious and unconscious is revealed. The unconscious is identified as both the source and the receiver of egotistical acts, impulses, and emotions that look to satisfy the ego. While there are similarities between yoga and psychotherapy-counselling, a comparison comes in favor of yoga. Compared with psychotherapy and counseling, yoga has conducted more extensive and systematic research of the psyche. Yoga provides the techniques to know and master the unconscious, resulting eventual in the unification of the states of consciousness. In plain English, meditation will slow down and stop the manifestations of troubling memories, emotions, impulses. Your unconscious will stop controlling you. Your unconscious is like a dark basement that holds a great collection of the impulses, tendencies, desires. It is your karma. The meditation gradually brings light in the basement, and you become aware of your collection. In the dark, this collection is a great obstacle - you never know what you will stumble upon and what it will do to you. In the light, this collection is a treasure. You find out your real potential and talents. Meditation spreads gradually the light of the awareness to all the states of the consciousness. That is, you will maintain your awareness when you are in dreamless sleep, dream sleep, and samadhi. Compared with this clear awareness, the normal awake-state awareness feels like a confusing dream. This is the reason many yoga texts talk about the enlightened yogin as"awake." Then you can become who you really are : the unbounded awareness. Pure bliss consciousness. It sounds like a mumble-jumble, but the yoga techniques as described in the ayp system map the road in detail. Just follow the path, and you will get there. Stick with meditation!
On short terms, there are other things you could do to ease the blockage. The good news is that you have done a great deal when you recognized that there is an emotional blockage. Recognizing the problem is the first step to solving it. Now you could proceed farther using direct or indirect means.
Exploring the blockage directly is like driving the car directly to and hopefully over the roadblock. Ask yourself: What has happened? What else do I feel besides anger? What are these emotions trying to tell me? What was the worst thing? What were my expectations? You will find better questions as you explore the experience. As BlueRaincoat said, this direct approach may trigger the release of the blockage, experienced as a rush of positive or negative emotional and physical energy.
Another way to ease the blockage is to consider a new perspective. There is some kind of insight that only you can decipher in this blockage, something that you are supposed to "take" from this experience. When you get the insight, the blockage dissolves, and you can move on.
Exploring the blockage indirectly is similar with what you do in psychotherapy and counseling. The unconscious eludes us when approached directly, but it reveals itself in associations, side-stories, dreams, desires, etc. That is, you deal with this blockage by exploring everything that comes to mind when you think about this past experience. You do not make a selection of what to explore. You consider everything that comes to mind, no matter how irrelevant, absurd, embarrassing. Eventually, an insight will emerge. To facilitate the process, you can tell it all to a quiet friend, or write it down in a journal.
Keeping a journal is a good way to work out troubling experiences. Each morning, reserve 15 minutes to writing in a journal. Some time you might have a lot to write (and you can write more than 15 minutes if you have time). Some days you might not write anything. But keep your 15 minutes for journal, and nothing else. If you do not write, you just stay there at the table with the journal, you don't go to do anything else, you do not check email or read the paper. Do this for at least 2 weeks, and you should see some results. Generally, a morning journal is a place where you can "leave" your troubles and preoccupations so you can go on with your day with a fresh mind. A journal is a habit that fosters joy and creativity. Yogani has an excellent lesson on writing - 395 The Power of the Pen, and The Keyboard. Try it for yourself.
Thanks if you read this entry. Hope it was of some help.
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2014 : 11:46:04 AM
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Untitled,
Thanks a lot for sharing this, I can definitely relate and the above advice is very useful. I'm working out my own anger issues as well but I can say meditation does help a ton, though at first it may seem to make things worse. But this is only because these things are surfacing at the conscious level. I know it definitely isn't easy. In fact it's very contrary to the popular notion that when you sit in meditation it's all peace and happiness.
I'm always reminded of Hindu mythology and the stories of Shiva. Even the king of yogis himself could fall prey to anger, disturbing his perfect bliss and wreaking havoc. When I first started meditating, even after a very deep and blissful sitting I could get myself into a situation that would cause me to have an angry outburst. Gradually over time I have become more aware of my buttons that can be pushed, as well as becoming more present while worked up and I can see how utterly pointless and destructive my anger is, and through that I'm finding an increased ability to stop myself and choose a better response to the situation. It really does take patience, gentleness, and forgiveness though. I do still get angry and have allowed it to cause me to say hurtful or mean things to others, all of whom I love. But now it hurts me a lot too. I can't escape the suffering I cause someone else. I feel the pain my anger causes others and it's not at all a reflection of the love that I want to express.
It seems with the rising of the witness a sort of moral regulation has taken effect. If I get angry, that isn't the problem. It's okay that I may be feeling angry, but it's really not okay to project that anger and cause more suffering. Through stillness in action it is possible to express myself with tact, and I find my anger can be transformed into clarity and understanding. But in my less conscious moments when I let my anger get ahead of me, I often end up a little bruised and battered by it. If I'm being hurtful to someone during my angry fit, it's like my words turn back on me and I'm at the receiving end of their toxic dose. It has made me painfully aware of the impact my words and actions can have, and has helped me to pay greater attention to staying conscious and keeping my emotions in check. It is a long and sometimes painful process, but a more than worthy one nonetheless.
It seems like you are making a lot of progress.
quote:
Originally posted by thank_g
Some useful advice from Gurunath Siddhanath of Kriya Yoga (See the youtube video link below)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxXiz1hO2Wg
This was great, thank you!
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Edited by - Chaz on Aug 20 2014 12:45:08 PM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2014 : 10:26:40 AM
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Well said Blanche. This is a great comparison between yoga and psychotherapy from somebody who has good knowledge of both. Well worth reading!   |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2014 : 12:28:58 PM
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| You are very kind, Blue Raincoat. There is only an attempt to answer a very good question.Thanks to the people who put the question! |
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Banjo
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2014 : 1:31:06 PM
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As I read your post I note the following assumptions:
1. Pain is to be in some way overcome.
2. Anger, like pain is to be in some way overcome.
3. Anger is a roadblock and can be dealt with as such.
4. You shouldn't feel angry.
5. Anger can put you "years behind" something or someone.
6. Anger is a problem that you need to get to the "root of."
7. Anger will keep you from "spiritually progressing."
I posit that the map you are working from is erroneous. As a person meditates suppressed material comes to the mind and physical body in the form of emotional content and the sensations that result. This is material that we have carried around our whole lives. We survived by suppressing and distracting ourselves from it. When we sit without distractions on a regular basis is it any wonder that we become more aware of this suppressed material? Most of us have been told that meditation will bring us peace and bliss. While not necessarily incorrect, these statements are misleading and cause many practitioners to give up or search for a "better" technique when they feel anger etc as a result of their practice. Instead a better understanding of the roadmap is in order. Anger or any other emotion that arises is a gift from our depths that can help guide us. If we choose to crash through the "roadblock" it will just appear a little further down the road in a different form. If we instead allow this feeling to come up and be just as it is, we digest it. Instead of trying to be or act "enlightened" or peaceful or anything else, be congruent to the best of your ability. If you are angry allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you call "angry." Avoid taking it out on others or seeking to feel better by "sharing" it with others (it is a "gift" given to you after all).
Think about it this way. If I meditate or do yoga or breathing exercises or simply sit quietly, emotional content that has been suppressed will arise. These emotions, at their core are raw energy or power. Most people can't contain all this raw power so they seek to drain it off via distraction (exercise, drugs, tv, music, "talking it out" etc). The more I can allow these feelings to come up without trying to interfere with them and without reacting to them the more I build my capacity for that energy or power. This is self discipline that leads to truly "building character." As the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility or put another way, as we increase our ability to be congruent and responsible the more we increase our true power (that is, not power over others but over ourselves and our choices).
With this in mind ask yourself how you define "progressing spiritually." Do you mean feeling peaceful or blissful all the time? Chasing the destination of "feeling good all the time" is the same as an addict chasing his or her next fix. Your anger is giving you the opportunity to grow up and develop the capacity to be congruent with reality whether that is anger or bliss or anything in between. This is the process of becoming fully human.
Now ask yourself this, "Who or what will my anger put me behind?" Is there a competition? Are you currently ahead of someone or something? Do you see this work as a relatively straight path that eventually gets you somewhere (like peace and bliss)? Or can you see it as a spiral of slowly increasing capacity for taking life just as it is, pain, anger, grief, peace, bliss and all?
Therapy can be useful to the degree that it allows a person to feel material that they suppress. In other words a good therapist can help us find our blindspots but they cannot feel for us. Mentally understanding why you are reacting will not stop the reaction permanently. Mental insight is highly overrated and more often than not it becomes used as a control mechanism to suppress the emotional body. If you carefully observe yourself and others you will quickly understand how common this is.
What you are experiencing is normal and part of the process. That meditation or other work can have such an uncomfortable effect on a person is something that should be better known and explained to people even before they start. It only does a disservice to the world to speak of these practices only in terms of bliss and peace. If one really thinks about it, the ideas carried by many about meditation are absurd. We constantly distract ourselves from feeling "bad" with tv, smartphones, internet, videos, music, other people, animals, exercise, drugs and so on. When we finally let our dust settle in the stillness why wouldn't all that material we tried to distract ourselves from come up? Why would we assume that we can bypass the gateway? There is a price to admission and that is facing ourselves. Good luck on your journey.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2014 : 12:35:28 AM
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To paraphrase the-man-with-the-plan (a.k.a. Yogani): Anger is the result of unfulfilled desire. Example: I want something, but I'm not getting it. Another example: I don't want something, but I'm getting it. Two sides of the same coin. Simple.
Anger is emotion, energy, attention. When directed to chosen ideal, Director of Anger is brought closer to aforementioned ideal due to the law of cause and effect. The more we put our heart and mind into something, the more it is brought into reality. If the ideal is delusion, we get delusional. If the ideal is Truth, we get truthfulness.
Catch you on the flip...side.  |
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Meditation bringing up old anger issues
