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seek123
India
12 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 24 2013 : 03:43:24 AM
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Om. I have been practicing chanting God's name internally all the time, mindfulness, and frequent meditation (not time disciplined and not everyday) for about 8 months. My desires, anger, greed, hatred etc have reduced to minimal though rarely these thoughts do arise and on most instances, I contol them with discrimination.
For about last 1 month, I had this mild vibration/electricity in my entire body, caused by movement of pran coupled with a throbbing mooladhar and frequent but very mild disorientation while walking or getting up from bed. Mild to (quite more than) mild pressure would build up in my head several times everyday. I knew for sure that my Kundalini is ready to awaken.
I meditate on the void between my eyebrows. I made attempts for intense concentration so my Kundalini would awaken but reaching near a reasonable concentration point, I chickened out thinking - what if something goes wrong like in Pt. Gopi Krishna's case. On 10-12 instances, I started meditation but everytime when concentration began to develop, I retreated. This play went on for these last 15 days. The intensity of vibration/electricity increased a little during this period, throbbing would begin soon on thinking of God or Kundalini and mild disorientation persisted as before. The peak pressure intensity in head also increased.
Finally, in the evening, I started meditating anticipating experience of Oneness this time. I prayed to GOD that all goes well. I soon saw in front of my closed eyes, a milky white aura starting to develop and my thought ran to kundalini with some anxiety. Everytime this happened, the aura subsided and darkness returned. This happened 4-5 times. I was a little annoyed with myself and weakness of my mind. I was aware of Gopi Krishna's experience and I decided that this time I would not let my thoughts ruin the effort. I remember No feeling at Mooladhar anytime except at the beginning of meditation.
This time, instead of void, I fixed my concentration on the image of GOD and in about 2 minutes, the milky shine began to rise again from below, in front of my closed eyes. My mind did turn to Kundalini but I controlled and kept it on the image. The shine grew while I was vibrating under my skin with synchronised pranic currents from throughout the body pleasantly reaching mooladhar. The milky shine grew to a level of say about 20 watt CFL lamp brightness in a room (not anywhere near becoming unbearable to look at).
The shine at this peak intensity persisted for 2-3 seconds and then faded into darkness. No feeling again at mooladhar. I was not very happy because I was expecting a dramatic "Oneness" awakening. This was a low key affair. Thereafter, the electricity has subsided to near zero, throbbing as also disorientation gone completely. Pressure in head too seems to have vanished or appears very slightly on concentration. Other than this, I do not feel any difference.
I am now in a double mind. Has my kundalini awakened/ partially awakened ? If awakened, why cant I feel anything ? How long may I stagnate at this level for karmic considerations ? There is anxiety that I could measure my progress so far, but not anymore. Where do I stand ? |
Edited by - seek123 on Jun 24 2013 04:55:41 AM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2013 : 06:39:27 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2013 : 1:31:49 PM
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It comes in waves. The whole practice of "easily favoring" is the way of gradually opening to the energy and stillness. By a matter of degrees, we unfold. So "partial" becomes more and more whole, penetrating every aspect of being. Certain symptoms become less noticed because they integrate into the changing inner landscape, and awareness goes to where it needs to go at any given moment. The lesson of Gopi Krisha is to use non-force and a balanced approach, rather than obsessing over a single focus like the crown. The natural flow of intuition will guide us to experience what needs to be experienced--if we tune in, surrender, and continue to release attachment to any particular scenery.
AYP emphasizes tending to the causes of spiritual development, rather than trying to determine specific outcomes or pre-conceived effects. This is an underlying lesson I am continuing to learn, but the more I accept my current condition, the more I can be surprised by the existence of subtle miracles that are already present. Of course, we dream of our ideal and strive for progress, but there must be a counter-balance of contentedness and recognition of the gifts immediately available. Nothing can be possessed. It's all meant to be shared and given away.
You clearly have wonderful bhakti and devotion. The trick is to accept the gradual nature of progress and find the miracles in daily life. Glad you are here. |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2013 : 2:17:17 PM
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Hi seek123
Welcome to the forum. You sound very sensitive and your bhakti is strong - which may be driving kundalini to her awakening. Do you keep a journal? It might be good idea to keep a record of your experiences. While I am no expert, it sounds like you are experiencing the very beginning of k awakening.
Best wishes on your spiritual path.
parvati |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2013 : 5:02:16 PM
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Hi Seek,
Welcome to the forums!
Very wonderful experiences, thank you for sharing.
It is possible you had a Kundalini movement. You state that you are concerned about not feeling anything. What exactly do you expect Kundalini to do?
The primary hindrance in seeking is that of expectation - we hear and read stories about other people's experiences, and expect that identical thing to happen to us. But, it never happens the same way twice, because each of us has a matrix as unique as our fingerprints. Awakening will happen to each of us exactly as it will, never the way we expect it to.
Besides, in AYP, there is a term we use for all such experiences - scenery. Bodhi's advice above is excellent. My advice is similar - if interested, please read the lessons on this site. It is preferable to have a balanced approach of cultivating inner silence along with energetic openings, in line with bhakti. There are many here who have had steady Kundalini activation with all of the great openings and higher understanding that comes with it (minus any of the drama), simply by favoring the practice rather than all of the scenery.
Wish you all the very best on your path.
kami |
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seek123
India
12 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2013 : 11:47:35 AM
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 . Thanks Bodhi Tree, Parvati and Kami for your welcoming and valuable responses. I have learnt from you that expectation equals attachment (exactly what keeps one bound). It slows down progress and now I need to let it happen the way it will.
I tried to keep a journal once but little "light & sound" together with "vision-flash" experiences then became so common that I lost interest in recording and stopped. This experience is recorded now.
Interestingly, Parvati called me senstive (I like to believe, I am pretty thick skinned  ). Though fearful I was, in those 15 days because pranic currents gathering momentum within, was a new experience and I had to retreat fearing something might go wrong. Now I am comfortable . . . let the "freight train" come.
You are right Kami - Focus on silence, ignore the scenery. You know, when you read enviable stories here, thoughts do arise. I have to course-correct. Some reads here say their Kundalini activity is so much/high that they needed to cut down on their practices and meditation. My case was just the opposite. I wish God had created some kind of a spiritual stock exchange so people could balance out among themselves .
I conclude that this attempt was a lesson and I am back to re-work now. Thank you again. God enlighten all. |
Edited by - seek123 on Jun 25 2013 12:54:56 PM |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2013 : 1:00:17 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by seek123
[I wish God had created some kind of a spiritual stock exchange so people could balance out among themselves .
Isn't that what life is...?
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Is My Kundalini Partially Awakened?
