|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Babaly
USA
112 Posts |
 Posted - May 19 2006 : 10:06:35 PM
|
Hi everyone,
I wonder if you can help me with this one..
I spent all day (13 hours) with someone on Wednesday that I met that day. They were working for me. Though the woman was very sweet and had a good heart she was in such terrible emotional pain - really the kind of emotional pain where she was being highly self-distructive i.e. self-mutilation to the extreme etc.,
I was in a work situation with her so I coldn't just get up and leave... I found that the next day I was wiped out... totally exhausted and emotionally wiped out.... I didn't even have it in me to sit for more than 10 mins in meditation.... it was awful... her face kept on coming to me....
Have any of you been in this situation ... and if so how did you handle it. Was there something I could have done energetically to protect myself from her "draining energy"... unfortunately she was my hairdresser so she was touching my head all the time...
Help  |
|
|
weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2006 : 10:59:55 PM
|
Hi Babaly,
I don't know of any method to protect yourself in the situation if you are sensitive to the other person's energies (except maybe deep, slow abdominal breathing). If I had to spend time with them I would explain how it makes me feel, then I think they could maybe "hold off" laying it all on me, if they understand that I was not the strong support that they thought. However, meditation will over time create an inner calm that is unaffected by outer conditions, so I wish you continued progress in this direction! |
 |
|
|
Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 03:49:15 AM
|
Babaly - I can sympathize with your situation, and have been in a similar one myself, with a neighbor who is (I fear) schizophrenic and definitely delusional. Her energy is very, very dark, and as a friend I've tried to open my heart to her in order to be compassionate. I ended up getting totally wiped out, as you describe. Instead of bringing light into her darkness, I ended up getting filled with her darkness, and it was very scary. It took a while to come out of it - maybe 3-4 hours - but during that time I got a glimpse of the darkness that she lives in all the time. Terrifying. It made me very compassionate toward her, but what I found was that I cannot open my heart to her, else I open myself up to someone who is energetically draining. Some call this type of person an energetic vampire, which is cruel, but accurate.
When you encounter a person like this, the first thing is to get away if you possibly can. If an exit isn't possible, as in your recent situation, I suggest actively keeping your heart closed to the person.* I know that this sounds cruel and extreme, but you've seen what the result is if you open up to them. You can still engage with them, but keep it minimal, and don't talk about your personal life too much. Don't let them 'in'. Talk about light and fluffy stuff - the weather, sales at the mall - and don't let them guilt trip you in any way. Just remember that it's not your job to help this person - they'll get help somewhere else, hopefully with a therapist. I hope this helps, as I know how dark a place it is, and how helpless it can make you feel.
Time to get a new hairdresser! :)
*I have a friend who's sort of new agey who recommends when you're with someone whose energy is dark and clingy, try not to face them directly, and cross an arm over your chest, the point being to physically block off the heart chakra to the other person. Sounds a little superstitious, I know, but I've done it, and it worked. |
|
|
|
Babaly
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 07:39:58 AM
|
Thanks Meg,
That was so helpful.
Yep! I think it is time to get a new hairdresser:-)
Maybe later when I am more further along I will be able to be around any kind of person and not be effected.... I'll be unshakable.
But now as a "Teen" Yogini, I think you are right... I'll need to protect myself more. I feel so much compassion sometimes but I don't think it's helpful to me or the other person if I get taken over by their stuff.
I really appreciate your feedback and Weavers.
Many thanks
Babaly |
|
|
|
nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 10:46:21 AM
|
Hi Meg or others,
I have a question. What if the person with this negative energy is happens to be our life partner. We cant stop being concerned about them or block our heart chakra to them
Can being in such a relation affect our spiritual progress negatively? Or will dealing with such tough person successfully help us grow spiritually.
|
|
|
|
riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 11:01:14 AM
|
Hi,
You can protect yourself by visualising a bubble of white light around you.Keeping interaction to a minimum. 'Or will dealing with such tough person successfully help us grow spiritually?'
No it will not help you grow spiritually, infact it will slow your progress down giving your personal energy to another.
*I have a friend who's sort of new agey who recommends when you're with someone whose energy is dark and clingy, try not to face them directly, and cross an arm over your chest, the point being to physically block off the heart chakra to the other person. Sounds a little superstitious, I know, but I've done it, and it worked.
In fact the idea of greeting another with hands in prayer position as the Hindus do is exactly that for protecting the heart chakra.Don't under any circumstances give healing to ones like this unless you know what you are doing.
L&L
Dave
'the mind can see further than the eyes' |
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 11:18:28 AM
|
Lived with someone really negative for 2 years, 24/7.. took years to get over it completely.. So I can feel what you felt Babaly.
If you can remove yourself from the situation (like change your hair dresser), do it. Maybe when you have enough inner silence things will be different.
Near, it is hard to get above this negative energy when it dominates your life 24/7, as it would with a life partner. But I think you can get over it.. it takes longer.. a lot more work.. Meditation will definitely help, so will a lot of self inquiry, but as I said, it is hard.. very hard... and once you hit the downward spiral.. it is almost impossible without divine intervention.
But remember, everything happens for a reason.. even if we don't see it right away.
|
Edited by - Shanti on May 20 2006 11:29:49 AM |
|
|
|
Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 11:50:38 AM
|
Near - It would be out of my league to comment on your situation, so I'll leave it to those who have the experience. My heart goes out to you. And I agree with Shanti that things happen for a reason - namely, to make us better people. I will say that in my experience, trying to bring love and light into a dark situation has been futile, but that may have been due to my lack of spiritual maturity.
Dave - interesting about the Hindus placing their hands in prayer position for protection. Then the advice given me by my new-age friend may not be so woo-woo after all.
|
|
|
|
alan
USA
235 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 12:53:23 PM
|
Hi Babaly;
I'll bet your hair is glorious beautiful after all that work. I imagine she's a good hair-dresser for you to let her spend so much time on your hair. Though I am thinking, 13 hours is an awful long time for someone to be laying hands on your head. Especially someone who appears to be emotionally destructive. I agree, time to get a new hair-dresser!
Peace, alan |
|
|
|
Babaly
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 1:32:25 PM
|
Hi all,
Thanks Alan.... my hair is gorgeous :-) Unfortunately she is a great hairdresser:-(
Interesting points brought up by everyone....
Near, I just want to say that sometimes our partner is just going through a negative time... I think it's an important disntinction to make....
1. Is it that your partner is a negative person .... that's their make-up, how they see the world etc., or
2. Is your partner experiencing challenges i.e. lost a job, health issues etc.,
I feel with #1,maybe it's time to move on and where you were when you got together, you have outgrown. If it's #2, talk to them and see what they are willing to do so your needs get met more.. i.e get into therapy, start working out/yoga, getting a positive network of friends for support.
It's interesting that so far most of you feel if a person is negative like the "hairdresser"... stay away.
Good feedback... thanks,
Babaly |
|
|
|
nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 3:13:45 PM
|
Hi all,
I just had a question thats all. My question has got nothing to do with my partner. Thanks for the answers.
- Near |
|
|
|
Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 6:30:08 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by nearoanoke
Hi all,
I just had a question thats all. My question has got nothing to do with my partner. Thanks for the answers.
- Near
yaaay! Glad to hear, Near. I was concerned for you. :) |
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 10:14:59 PM
|
I did not think it was you Near, but it is someone close to you who is suffering because of a negative partner... do introduce him/her to meditation.. with some inner silence, they may be able to cope with the situation and have some influence on their partner too.
Glad to know it was not you |
|
|
|
sadhak
India
604 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2006 : 10:47:11 PM
|
Hi Babaly,
It is draining to be with emotionally disturbed people. I have experienced the drain at times. Till one learns to be detached and yet caromg, there are two things that help:
1) A procedure called cutting the connections. Say a prayer to your Guru, or the Divine, and see (in your mind's eye) the connection from your solar plexus to the other, and with chopping motions of your hand, literally cut the connection. Be careful to not overuse this procedure, for it is powerful, and can sometimes just remove the person from your life,if done with strong emotions. Just cut off the negative emotions latching on to you, and not the person per se.
2) After an interaction with such a person, take a bath, including your head. You may recite a prayer that is powerful to you while taking the bath.
Sadhak.
quote:
Originally posted by Babaly
Hi everyone,
I wonder if you can help me with this one..
I spent all day (13 hours) with someone on Wednesday that I met that day. They were working for me. Though the woman was very sweet and had a good heart she was in such terrible emotional pain - really the kind of emotional pain where she was being highly self-distructive i.e. self-mutilation to the extreme etc.,
I was in a work situation with her so I coldn't just get up and leave... I found that the next day I was wiped out... totally exhausted and emotionally wiped out.... I didn't even have it in me to sit for more than 10 mins in meditation.... it was awful... her face kept on coming to me....
Have any of you been in this situation ... and if so how did you handle it. Was there something I could have done energetically to protect myself from her "draining energy"... unfortunately she was my hairdresser so she was touching my head all the time...
Help
|
|
|
|
riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2006 : 05:59:36 AM
|
Hi Meg,
Yes the information about the heart chakra position was given to me by my guru but I guess with a lot of Indians becoming westernised the info is lost on many. She also demonrated a kriya that protected the heart and it became apparent that this was the place where an equivalent chi gung technique came from, namely 'drawing the bow.'Although in chi gung it is done to the side as if drawing a long bow, in kriya it is done in front of the heart chakra.
L&L
dave
'the mind can see further than the eyes' |
|
|
|
Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2006 : 9:37:50 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Babaly
Have any of you been in this situation ... and if so how did you handle it. Was there something I could have done energetically to protect myself from her "draining energy"... unfortunately she was my hairdresser so she was touching my head all the time...
Help
Hi,
I would like you to know that you would always be exposed to these things....Unfortunately I am exposed to this kind of energy everyday especially on a Saturday temple night....We have all kinds of people with severe ailments....I am a bit drained not totally
Being a Hindu....every morning I make an offering of (DAR) which consists of water, toolsie leave and a white flower near our flags or a clean spot in the yard
Most Hindus do this every morning....
I also HAVE to CHANT "om namad shivaya" using my mala many times throughtout the day.....This places a very powerful shield of protection around you. After many "jaaps" lord shiva would appear to you in dreams and so forth. After a while according to how far you have spiritually progressed you would actually be sending out love vibrations to these persons...unconsciously
but in this world today
some things can be changed and not everyone has the ability to recognise and understand this.If that person has been paying obeisances and prayers to GOD it might have been reduced etc.... ...so maybe that person need spiritual help
As the others have said it is best to stay away or just chant that praYER every morning....
These have been a few of my experiences .....I hope I assisted
NB(I was not a always a religious person....its been only 7months since my awakening) |
|
|
|
Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2006 : 9:57:07 PM
|
[quote]Originally posted by nsantoo
[quote]Originally posted by Babaly
oops sorry that supposed to be "Om namash shivaya"
|
|
|
|
david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2006 : 10:07:48 PM
|
Nsantoo -- you can edit your own posts on AYP forum. On your own post, click on the icon which is a pencil and paper.....
|
|
|
|
sadhak
India
604 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 10:04:00 PM
|
nsantoo,
As far as I know it is "Om Namah Shivaya". It is better, I have been taught, not to chant at all, than enunciate or pronunce erroneously.Because sometimes, the meaning itself can change to be counterproductive, or in the least, ineffective. Chants work on sound vibrations, that work at a very profound level. Each of the "mantras" known to us was revealed to a higher being in very deep states of meditation, and they invoke a specific kind of energy. The 'Shiva' energy is the transforming energy. Om itself is A-U-M. The sound of each letter stands for one energy of the trinity, the creative, the preserving and the transforming. There is a method for aum chanting, which when done in this manner is most effective. The vibrations can be palpably felt, and many who do the chant can perceive the effect in the area and on their self.
But to get back to the matter at hand, yes, one can use a number of 'shields', but creating each takes up a lot of prana, and I wouldn't waste such energies on mundane encounters, which can be dealt with more simply. It can be like using an axe to chop a cucumber, to use shields for everyday protection. They are generally used to deflect powerful negatives on the path of an aspirant.
Then again, let us find out from Babaly... how is it going with the hairdresser, Babaly? Did any of this help you; were you able to use anything from here?
Sadhak |
Edited by - sadhak on May 23 2006 10:24:10 PM |
|
|
|
Babaly
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 11:47:43 PM
|
Hi Sadhak,
thanks for your post... and thanks everyone else.... well I'm looking for a new hairdresser obviously.... but what I got from everyone is to "move on" - don't waste my valuable energy on someone I can't help and can only bring me down.
Funnily enough, I have used your "cutting emotional ties" excercise with a few people and so far so good:-) Thanks for that.
I also have been chanting Om Namah Shivaya a lot too.... that's my mantra of choice.
Babaly |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Dealing with pain of others
