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Swan
India
256 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 06 2012 : 05:16:28 AM
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For last 8 years, I have been a regular smoker having more than 10 puffs a day. I tried to quit in between and it was a hard fight before giving in again, and I used to end up with even more frustration about it. So much so, that I had even given up trying to quit, to save from the frustration of losing it again.
Numbers were not that important, but I used to light the first one within fifteen minutes of waking up, took one after every meal, and one just before going to bed – and all these were must and not to mention some more smoking in between.
It has been nine months after starting AYP, continued practices unless for self pacing, and something wonderful happened some 1.5 months ago. Silence started coming up in daily life, along with being in the moment. I think this being in the moment/being present in now has done the trick!
I was smoking. Suddenly I started to feel it with very high degree of awareness – without having any prior intention or using any effort. I put it on my lips, sucked it – pungent smoke filled my mouth, spreading slight burning sensation and very bad taste. I inhaled it as usual – the burning sensation and discomfort spread into my chest, it reached my solar plexus – which recoiled in distaste and hurt. I exhaled it, it left me exhausted and with an awful taste in my throat and mouth and ruffled chest and solar plexus. Maybe the whole thing is intuitive for any rational mind, but I as a smoker have never ever felt it that way before. I started questioning “why do I keep doing this to myself? What is the worth?”
It occurred to me that inner guru is considering quitting, and I decided to follow. It has been so easy to quit this time, that after couple of day I don’t even remember a cigarette when it used to be a must, like after waking up or after dinner. While in the earlier cases, when I tried to quit, I even dreamt of having a smoke during sleep. Gosh, I had tried so hard for this at times I remember, but to no avail – now it has been possible without even trying!!! I am so loving it…
Now – the fact is I am still smoking a few, only when in my office, with colleagues (setup from old habit). But there is hell and heaven difference of my attitude towards smoking, and there is no must attached with it. I don’t keep cigarettes at my home, and it is a kind of liberation for me. The little smoke I take a day – I want to quit this too. But after the experience, I am not fighting it anymore, just going with the flow and dropping the intention ‘I want to quit this too’ into silence.
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2012 : 06:12:56 AM
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sounds great dear Swan |
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kaserdar
91 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2012 : 10:52:38 AM
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| I read in of Osho's books that he was suggesting smoking with awareness as a meditation technique. He said one can quit smoking like this. |
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Swan
India
256 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2012 : 1:49:18 PM
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thanks dear Maheswari
kaserdar, this is valuable and inspiring information, thank you... |
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Smoking and silence...
