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 Inquiring into pain and irritability
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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Mar 04 2009 :  1:08:08 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Some thoughts to share.

The number one symptom that is encountered here when too much meditation or energy practices is undertaken is typically irritability. Often with too much energy related work done there can also be a subtle burning feeling in all the nerves which I like to call the "inner sunburn".

Today I decided to inquire into why this feeling of irritability would surface and stick around and the answer was surprising. In my case, there was a deep rooted fear that when feeling irritable or in pain, that my conduct and actions taken towards people and the world around me would be negative and destructive. There was a lot of pent up emotion with this worry and with the realization that this thought wasn't true (from many angles), there was a substantial release and the irritability lost its resistance leaving me with just the pain of the inner sunburn.

Pain has been seen as a positive for a while now from my perspective. Not to suggest that I am going out and looking for it or have any plans to increase practices or to torture myself, but when it occurs emotionally or physically from being out of sync with reality, I recognize it as the call and stimulus for change. This change is what brings me more firmly into reality, to my true Being in the Here and Now. When not resisted there is much less suffering.

A few years back, I was at a retreat with Miguel Ruiz and I was feeling massive overload from too much energy and practices in a short period of time. I remember asking Miguel about it and his answer was a fairly terse, "that's good, let it burn". I finally understand what he meant.

emc

2072 Posts

Posted - Mar 04 2009 :  3:37:04 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Nice post, Anthem.

Do you have this tremendous giggle underneith the pain? Since a while back I've been more frequently experiencing a gigantic giggle coming up inside when mind is trying to convince me to dive into victimization of any kind (emotional, physical or mental pain and suffering). As soon as I remember to inquire the pain... this giggle comes and gives the answer. No analyses needed. It feels like a really thin line between happiness or suffering. I sometimes litterally see the veil lifting. A thin thing that is wobbling like a water surface. If I touch it with consciousness the surface breaks (as when you put your hand into the water and breaks the surface) and the giggle comes. The giggle is so close underneith... it feels absurd to choose the suffering... and yet I still do so many times... and get really, really stuck in it... until I remember to inquire.
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cosmic_troll

USA
229 Posts

Posted - Mar 05 2009 :  7:06:40 PM  Show Profile  Visit cosmic_troll's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Wonderful insights, Anthem. Thanks for sharing them

quote:
Originally posted by Anthem11

I recognize it as the call and stimulus for change.


I can relate to this. Although not with pain, sometimes when social anxiety/fear comes up when I'm about to say something "emotionally risky", I feel some pleasant ecstatic conductivity come up with the fear. It feels like a gentle nudge towards speaking, rather than shutting my mouth (which I'm historically inclined towards). It's like the universe is saying "Well, out with it" when it sees my hesitation.

Would you consider your inquiry into the "inner sunburn" a remedy for overpurification?

Peace
cosmic
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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2009 :  09:34:01 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Would you consider your inquiry into the "inner sunburn" a remedy for overpurification?


Unfortunately not, but that would have been nice! The experience removed the irritation but left the inner sunburn clear and observable. Previously, it had been somewhat mixed in with irritation so was partially obscured.

My acceptance of the burn was wonderful on many levels. I could operate in a happy, positive state despite the discomfort of the burn. There was no resistance to the burn so I am sure it departed much more quickly. It also allowed me to see and understand more clearly the physical results from overdoing in specific ways. Good information to avoid over-doing in the same way going forward or not.
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2009 :  10:43:31 AM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Anthem and All....

I have a quick question....

How would you describe this "inner sunburn"? The past couple of days I have gone a little overboard on practices by attending a few too many classes and still keeping up with my twice daily sessions. Meaning I've been having at least 3 sessions a day the past while and I know it has been a bit much. I haven't been irritable emotionally, but what I have been feeling is I think what you are calling "the inner sunburn", I just want to compare "notes" to see if my symptoms are similar to what you guys are talking about. What I am experiencing as symptoms are pretty similar to how I felt coming off of methadone. I feel all around "squirrly". Can't sit still for more then a couple of minutes at a time, constantly need to stretch my limbs, wierd skin sensations that almost seem like the "inside" of my skin is itchy but I can't scratch it, scattered mentally, can't sleep or lay still in bed, too hot with covers on but too cold with them off.....these are the sort of symptoms I have been having this week. Could these be considered the "inner sunburn" you are all talking about or is this something different?

Thanks.

Love,
Carson
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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2009 :  2:52:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Carson,

Symptoms of over-doing can be wide and varied and no doubt very individualized to each person. My experience of too much energy exposure is very similar to the way I literally feel when my skin gets sun-burned, except I feel it internally in all the nerves from head to toe. In the end though, it doesn't really matter how it manifests as long as we acknowledge it and change our actions to rebalance ourselves.


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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2009 :  3:02:50 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks man
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Lacinato

USA
98 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2009 :  8:11:04 PM  Show Profile  Visit Lacinato's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I have felt this inner burn, and relax and accept it...but I can only do that for so long. After about a week or so, I generally am very tired of it. Any tips? Even mentally, after awhile, I just want to feel normal, no burn... but I feel like this fatigue (of feeling the burn) is holding me back--because then I have to back off.
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Shanti

USA
4854 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2009 :  9:34:53 PM  Show Profile  Visit Shanti's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Lacinato

I have felt this inner burn, and relax and accept it...but I can only do that for so long. After about a week or so, I generally am very tired of it. Any tips? Even mentally, after awhile, I just want to feel normal, no burn... but I feel like this fatigue (of feeling the burn) is holding me back--because then I have to back off.


Do you take rest after your meditation? Shorten your meditation time if required and take a nap after meditation. I think it's purification and not energy overload. When you are mentally tired too.. reduce meditation time and increase your rest time. The rest will help with the fatigue you feel. It will be a short phase if you let it be.. go with what your body asks for.
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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Mar 07 2009 :  08:34:18 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Lacinato,
quote:

I have felt this inner burn, and relax and accept it...but I can only do that for so long. After about a week or so, I generally am very tired of it. Any tips? Even mentally, after awhile, I just want to feel normal, no burn... but I feel like this fatigue (of feeling the burn) is holding me back--because then I have to back off.


Are you doing any breathing practices or tantra? These can lead to energy overload as well.
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onomatopoios

23 Posts

Posted - Mar 07 2009 :  2:42:05 PM  Show Profile  Visit onomatopoios's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Awesome topic, it's been a pleasure to read all these beautiful stories.

I've been suffering a long time from a type of pain called "brainfog." For those who haven't experienced it, I would describe it as a burning and heavy sensation in the head, as if your brains were thrown into a smokestack. Your memory and cognition become impaired, and for people such as myself who have relied on their smarts to carve a sustenance it's a disaster. Eventually it lead to the situation that I couldn't continue studying any academic field and dropping out from the university was the only choice.

In the end I learned that pain can be a helpful and beautiful thing. It turns out that I couldn't care a less about academic career or studies, so for one thing it's good that I didn't waste any time on that. Pain has taught me the real lesson I needed: agape, caritas, love. Now concentrating on the brainfog feels like embracing a long lost friend: sometimes sad and sometimes cheerful, a heartfelt meeting that mends the past separation.

When the pain becomes the sole object of concentration, it paradoxically seems to melt away. It's hardly a surprise that the tragic and sick people are often the ones to discover enlightenment, because it is essentially acceptance and observation of things as they are.

Much love to you all.
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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Mar 08 2009 :  12:51:43 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Beautiful post onomatopoios.
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DansInEveryWay

USA
26 Posts

Posted - Oct 18 2010 :  4:58:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
shucks that this is an old post, because i'd like to hear back from you guys, as i'm having some of the sensations. especially yours, carson. i drove 5.5 hours yesterday, and tried to abide in awareness for a majority of the time. i was watching myself drive and watching my thoughts, even with my sister playing and singing to music, in the silence.

at some point near the end of the drive, i felt a kind of magnetic pull upward, like i could have let go and been totally immersed in space, or had some kind of release, but as i was driving i had an instinctual aversion to it. at the same time i felt energetic and twitchy. don't know what that was about, but if i'd let it happen, i think it would have been quite pleasant. any ideas?

so today i'm feeling antsy, slightly irritable and unable to sit still. my muscles have waay too much energy, even though i've eaten my typical meager breakfast. i wonder if the physical sensations are related to what i was doing in the car yesterday with mentally resting in silence. overload?

p.s. ill post this in a more recent and possibly more relevant thread (is that bad forum etiquette?)
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wakeupneo

USA
171 Posts

Posted - Oct 18 2010 :  8:10:25 PM  Show Profile  Visit wakeupneo's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
If you have access to that awareness, I recommend you adibe as "that" as often as possible.

Bit by bit your identity will shift into that, you will start to remember "that" as your primordial essence.

You are "that"

Sounds like everything is going along smoothly for you.


quote:
Originally posted by dansineveryway

shucks that this is an old post, because i'd like to hear back from you guys, as i'm having some of the sensations. especially yours, carson. i drove 5.5 hours yesterday, and tried to abide in awareness for a majority of the time. i was watching myself drive and watching my thoughts, even with my sister playing and singing to music, in the silence.

at some point near the end of the drive, i felt a kind of magnetic pull upward, like i could have let go and been totally immersed in space, or had some kind of release, but as i was driving i had an instinctual aversion to it. at the same time i felt energetic and twitchy. don't know what that was about, but if i'd let it happen, i think it would have been quite pleasant. any ideas?

so today i'm feeling antsy, slightly irritable and unable to sit still. my muscles have waay too much energy, even though i've eaten my typical meager breakfast. i wonder if the physical sensations are related to what i was doing in the car yesterday with mentally resting in silence. overload?

p.s. ill post this in a more recent and possibly more relevant thread (is that bad forum etiquette?)

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