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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 26 2007 : 12:49:15 PM
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I have realized something that I would like to share. Feelings arise in us.. good and bad.. and once you learn to observe your mind/ego (I will use the word mind in this post).. you will see that any time a feeling arises, the mind tries to make sense of it and runs it through a life filter. It will either pass it through a filter of something that is happening right now and associate the feeling with it, or if it cannot fit it into anything happening right now (like everything is going great.. and yet you feel sudden sadness in your heart).. it will go back and look through it's memory bank and find something from the past that will fit perfectly with that feeling.
The feeling is just there.. it was always just there.. till the mind decided to do its job and process it by passing it through a filter, put a label on it and tuck it away somewhere in memory for future reference. When you learn to watch your mind, you can see this clearly.
When the emotion arising is a weak one, you can actually ignore the label being attached to it by the mind.. and ride the feeling.. happy or sad or angry or silly.. till it dissolves.
When the emotion is too strong and the mind attaching a label to it seems hard to get past .. allow the mind to get its way.. but don't get attached to the label.. if I try and fight the mind at this point.. I kinda get frustrated.. well, I am still learning and maybe after awhile it gets to a point when you can ignore labels to the strong emotions the same way you do the weak ones.. not sure.. but for now... let the mind have its way.. but know, that is what it is.. the mind having its way .. don't get attached to the label.. don't act on the label.. this strong feeling too will dissolve.. and depending on how much you decided to attach yourself to the story your mind spun, based on the filter.. it will dissolve in a few hours.. or few days.. or a lifetime. (When a child is playing and has a make believe world, you go with it (the story) and enjoy her imagination and play along with her.. but don't get attached to it and believe it to be a true world.. she may, but you don't.. just like that.. the mind believes its a true story.. but you don't have to).
All the negative feelings we have been holding on to so dearly with our lives are nothing but stories our mind created to explain the feelings arising in us.. once we can let go of the stories.. we will feel the feelings for what they are.. just energy.. nothing negative about them really. Energy is energy.. it is how our body reacts to the energy that determines how we react to it... The same goes with thoughts.. they are all finally energy.. energy(thoughts/feelings/emotions) arising in us, no need to label them.. just experience them.. go with whatever way the body reacts to it.. brings up a smile, brings up tears.. and ride through it.. without associating a word to it. Oh I smiled.. so this is a happy energy.. Oh I am crying.. so this is a sad energy.. Really, no need to label them. They are just there.. let them flow and enjoy the feeling of lightness that follows it when you don't attach to it. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2007 : 6:44:17 PM
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Good one, Shanti.
This goes along with what I was saying in another thread about the mind always searching for confirmation of its beliefs. |
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glow
11 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2007 : 8:16:07 PM
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| i agree shanti, that was a great posting and i know it goes along with what you were saying before etherfish. shanti, that happens to me often about just random sadness or other feelings coming over me for moments and then its gone. its kind of random- nice to hear another person goes through that. i also notice with these energy releases, that with crying out pain for example, i could have a crying episode for about a half hour and then all of a sudden in a moments notice i can answer the doorbell or the phone and then be completely present to that person and switch gears. its strange, this never used to happen to me before, but then again i never used to actually let myself feel feelings like this!... but thanks for sharing |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2007 : 07:44:47 AM
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| Great post, Shweta. What you describe is something that (for me, anyway) will take a lot of practice. I know that the common conception is that we hold onto our emotions; we are 'attached' to them. But it often feels to me that they cling to me, wrap themselves around me, and it's next to impossible to peel them off. Do you ever sense that? Like, in your head you're done with a particular emotion, but still it lingers and sticks to you? I think that if the emotion can be successfully neutralized by de-labeling it, as you suggest, it may just fall away on its own. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2007 : 10:38:42 AM
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Thanks Ether. Yes same idea different words. 
Thanks Glow. Random sadness is purification.. and you are doing the right thing of staying with the feeling till it dissolves.. and not attaching a story to it.. I am sad because of so and so thing that is happening/has happened in my life. Its awesome you can do that. It took me forever to "get" this.
Hi Meg. Thanks. I know what you are saying..
quote:
But it often feels to me that they cling to me, wrap themselves around me, and it's next to impossible to peel them off. Do you ever sense that? Like, in your head you're done with a particular emotion, but still it lingers and sticks to you?
Been there, done that and still do it to a certain degree.. but getting better at identifying the filter and disassociating with the label. I just posted to Gentlep about this http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=2796#24397
And you are right.. this comes with a bit of practice.. Baby steps :).
The best way to know something needs inquiry is..
When something happens that gives you a "feeling" in the heart/pit of your stomach or makes you want to run :).. it is something that needs to get looked into. No matter how strongly you believe you are right.. if it even gives you a faint flutter in your heart.. you are still not over it. |
Edited by - Shanti on Jul 27 2007 10:42:01 AM |
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gentlep
USA
114 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2007 : 2:21:58 PM
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| But according to Byron Katie, emotions are because of a thought(or mental story). If you use inquiry then you can recognize the thought and undo it's effect and in that process find peace. So Shanti, are you saying the opposite of what Byron Katie is saying or am I getting it wrong? |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2007 : 09:41:48 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by gentlep
But according to Byron Katie, emotions are because of a thought(or mental story). If you use inquiry then you can recognize the thought and undo it's effect and in that process find peace. So Shanti, are you saying the opposite of what Byron Katie is saying or am I getting it wrong?
Hi Gentlep,
Good question.. and I will try and explain it with something that happened to me yesterday.
I am originally from India and after coming to the US it took me awhile to learn the pronunciation of certain words that were different here.. example would be Inventory.. in India it was pronounced as inventree in the US they say inventory. Well it took me awhile but I did learn how to pronounce most of the words that were used often at work. We had a user conference and I had to give a small presentation on a production planning system I had programmed. I was nervous and yet excited to show off my baby.. My boss gave the overall presentation and I got up to tell my bit.. went over it.. and at a point I saw a blank/puzzled look on some faces. When I was done.. one of the ladies asked.."ummm.. you have to enter what for all colors?".. and I said percentage.. and they did not get it.. my boss stood up and said.. "percentage".. ahhhh.. so the emphasis was on the "cent" here in the US and not on the "age".. I was so embarrassed and red in my face and legs shaking.. etc. That was "one" for my mind to label and tuck away for future reference.
Yesterday someone made fun of the way I used a word in a sentence.. and I felt this feeling in my heart.. a feeling the mind generally associates with being hurt. A year back even before I would have a chance to realize the feeling in my heart.. my mind would have used a language filter.. tagged it with "you are no good at English.. You should not speak in public... why do people have to make fun of me, at least I can speak English well, why must they pick on a few words I cannot say right.. etc. etc etc...".. My mind would attach all those and many more (unrelated at times) thoughts to that feeling and spun a story and I would get tangled up in those thoughts and be depressed and sad and miserable.
Then came Katie, so I would apply the 4 questions turn it around and not have to "suffer" through all the thoughts and emotions that made me miserable.
But now, I can feel a flutter in my heart, and even before my thoughts can attach a story to it.. I can catch that flutter.. and watch it and let it dissolve without it going through the whole process of the mind attaching a thought to the feelings, and me getting all emotional and then applying inquiry.
So do I not need inquiry?
Wont say that. That feeling in my heart stayed for a long time. It was not one of the easy ones that rises like a wave and dissolves. So I did inquiry to the situation that brought up that feeling to begin with.
Does this make sense? It is better not to get caught up in words. I am just sharing something that helped me... and may help someone else. I am not saying this is the right way or wrong way.. this is what is helping me right now.
Katie helped me get over the million things that plagued my thoughts and emotions for most of my life. Her method has worked for many of us.
I consider Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is) my guru, as do I consider ..Eckhart Tolle (author of Power of Now) and Sailor Bob Adamson (author of What's Wrong With Right Now Unless You Think About It?) Greg Baer (author of Real Love), Yogani (creator of AYP), my children, my family, my friends and all the many many members who post their thoughts and writings and questions at the forum.. all my Gurus. They have all taught me so much and I am thankful and grateful to all of them. This Monday is Guru purnima, and I would like to thank all my gurus for all the help they have given me so far.
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Edited by - Shanti on Jul 28 2007 11:42:51 AM |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2007 : 12:50:37 PM
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I was reading about numbers recently, and the archetypal meanings behind them. Each day is either a breath in or a breath out. Our minds try to factor in as much info as possible, but it is impossible to gauge the effect of cosmic and earthly forces around us. Many times I am not sure as to why I am experiencing a particular state, but I try to remember the forces unseen.
quote:
Yesterday someone made fun of the way I used a word in a sentence.. and I felt this feeling in my heart.. a feeling the mind generally associates with being hurt. A year back even before I would have a chance to realize the feeling in my heart.. my mind would have used a language filter.. tagged it with "you are no good at English.. You should not speak in public... why do people have to make fun of me, at least I can speak English well, why must they pick on a few words I cannot say right.. etc. etc etc...".. My mind would attach all those and many more (unrelated at times) thoughts to that feeling and spun a story and I would get tangled up in those thoughts and be depressed and sad and miserable.
I know this feeling, and I am aware that it is just a passing expression. It has helped me stay mindful of my actions to others, as I know I may do something unintentionally they might attach and react to.
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Edited by - Kyman on Jul 28 2007 1:00:20 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2007 : 1:41:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
When the emotion is too strong and the mind attaching a label to it seems hard to get past .. allow the mind to get its way.. but don't get attached to the label.. if I try and fight the mind at this point.. I kinda get frustrated..
You can't fight your way out of thinking with more thinking. You can't address your mind's unceasing distinction-making by making distinctions. There is no "self help" procedure out there that will allow you to more skillfully muck around with and within mind to get it all working PERFECTLY. It's a dead end.
The antidote is spiritual practice, which will gradually clear your window...as you've already seen. But here's a shortcut to help with this one issue.
Instead of trying to adjust your viewpoint and emotions (just more mucking around in the maya!), try just spraying things, as they come up, with indiscriminant love...the sort of dense, consuming, affectionate love a tiny child lavishes on a teddy bear. Love your toe. Love the door frame on which you stub your toe. Love the stubbing. Love the pain. Love the fading of the pain. Love your most hated politician. Love the unconscious samskaras that lurk in your periphery. Love your fear. Love every infinitessimal monster in your interior and exterior worlds and in your dreams.
This is The Answer, and while AYP or other practices will reveal it, it's something you can also work on directly, if it's something that resonates with you.
It doesn't matter how you apply this love. Most popular is to use a symbol - e.g. to see God in these things (not intellectually, but in your heart). Or see Flow or Truth or Whatever in those things. Create your own lens to shine the love through, it doesn't matter. Mine's crazy and personal: I deem all these issues crocodiles - I happen to love crocodiles - and I indiscrimanantly wish them well and well-fed, because I know that crocodiles are not viscious but simply hungry. How contrived is that? But it works beautifully for me. The universe is like that, anyway: no true visciousness, only just hunger. So feed with your heart (or, same thing, offer a bhakti-enflamed heartfelt wish for their satiation). The crocodiles of my mind and in my life are welcome to munch on my fingers if they really get hungry, I offer them up freely (reference: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=1189 ) ....I love the crocodiles that much. 
If you stubbornly persist in loving the things that put you off your peace (or, for starters, simply wishing them well...yes, that sounds dreadfully mild and cheery, but it's extremely heavy stuff) as a knee-jerk reaction instead of the usual distinction-making, you'll vastly increase your peace and facilitate your practices. And you'll be amazed how quickly this will become an instant knee-jerk reaction. Not all the time...you'll still get caught sometimes. But you can get surprisingly easily accustomed. And when you do get caught and the kneejerk reaction doesn't happen, it's a simple thing to manually apply it, however many seconds/minutes/hours after.
Again, meditation eventually makes this all happen naturally, so if none of this resonates with you, don't worry, you'll come into it later anyway. But if it does ring your bell, give it a try.
Be aware, though, that this will make you feel and appear to be an idiot. Your mind, which functions entirely in distinctions, will deem totally idiotic this seemingly bland, stubborn, unsubtle, indiscriminate behavior. It will view with alarm your new disinclination to make distinctions, and tell you you're acting like a moron. That's the big problem with this route: doubt, crisis of faith, etc. Solution? Love the doubt, love the crisis. Feed it all in.
Love the monsters! |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jul 28 2007 2:11:31 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2007 : 4:08:01 PM
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Sorry, I neglected to say that I think your central insight - that the labeling comes after, as a post-processing of raw experience, and that much of our daily drama stems from that post-processed version rather than from what simply is - is absolutely correct. I've
said the same here many times, though perhaps not in a way that spoke to people (every iteration strikes some people more than others!)
My point is that for this understanding to yield a change in actual real world experience, it has to come organically and from deeply within, or else you're just stomping on cockroaches (and there's always another cockroach!). Those seeking a roach-by-roach solution are advised to love the roaches rather than stomp on them. It's best, of course, to simply transcend rather than to fiddle around. But there's no transcendence without love, anyway.......  |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jul 28 2007 4:13:41 PM |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2007 : 4:46:54 PM
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Great advise above Jim. Don Miguel Ruiz also advocates feeling love in each situation as you suggest, I use this often in my life.
No doubt that thinking can often lead to going in circles and can be a frustrating experience. Fortunately our minds rest in awareness and this can be accessed through effective self-inquiry which is a great tool to transcend painful thought patterns and conditioning in general.
Awareness brings truth and light to our thinking and let’s us see the delusion of our thinking and we can get to this by asking ourselves what is true. I see this as the basis for self-inquiry, going within and shining the light of awareness into the mind to know the truth and to set our selves free.
Katie's approach to self-inquiry is the best I've seen, as it gives people a very easy way to find their truth and to free themselves from painful thoughts. I know the non-dualists don't like the idea of techniques, but there are clearly things we can do to help us shed our conditioning, no doubt AYP makes that pretty evident .
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2007 : 6:02:50 PM
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I think that's what I'm learning to do; I don't attach any instructional code to it; I just think of it as letting go.
My friends made fun of the way I wrote something down, and I just laughed with them. In the past I would have tried to defend why i wrote that way. But I just let it go and laughed with them and moved on to another subject. I figured I have plenty of valid reasons if anyone wants to dig deeper, but I don't want to. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2007 : 10:07:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
Again, meditation eventually makes this all happen naturally, so if none of this resonates with you, don't worry, you'll come into it later anyway. But if it does ring your bell, give it a try.
It does ring a bell.. but is still something the mind is trying to figure out.. which does not work for me... (trying to figure the mind with the mind)... So.. yes, will wait for it to come to me later.
Thanks Jim. |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2007 : 11:43:02 AM
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Thanks for your great posts Shweta and others.
I just thought I'd chip in and say what everybody knows about but hasn't said yet.
The basis of all these methods working, whether using love or any other method is the development of Inner Silence. Without this it is an uphill struggle.
With inner silence, developed through twice a day AYP practice, the self inquiry takes on a new life.
This has really sunk in with me lately when doing some Katie self inquiry. If the emotion is strong in association with the mental labeling I make a short concise mental label of it and enter it as a sutra at the end of meditation.
This has proven so powerful that I have been shocked by its effectiveness. The stillness can be felt to burn and disolve the biggest blocks away in a matter of a couple of sittings.
Previously I could have spent months or years at these issues and still have them lingering - roll on inner silence - it's your only man.(or woman if your picky)
Cheers
Louis |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2007 : 05:54:29 AM
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quote:
Jim wrote: try just spraying things, as they come up, with indiscriminant love...the sort of dense, consuming, affectionate love a tiny child lavishes on a teddy bear. Love your toe. Love the door frame on which you stub your toe. Love the stubbing. Love the pain. Love the fading of the pain. Love your most hated politician. Love the unconscious samskaras that lurk in your periphery. Love your fear. Love every infinitessimal monster in your interior and exterior worlds and in your dreams.
- - -
My point is that for this understanding to yield a change in actual real world experience, it has to come organically and from deeply within, or else you're just stomping on cockroaches (and there's always another cockroach!). Those seeking a roach-by-roach solution are advised to love the roaches rather than stomp on them. It's best, of course, to simply transcend rather than to fiddle around. But there's no transcendence without love, anyway
Oh, Jim, how wonderful! The actual real world experience IS to BE that love! Yes, it has to come deep from within, that tickling in your chest, that love that brings you to tears. ZOE, divine love. It is excellent to practice to "feel" that love towards everything, but realizing YOU ARE THAT LOVE is unfathomable!
That's what released me during the retreat I just attended. I hit myself and judged myself for not being able to go into stillness as much as I wished. When I allowed myself to flip-flop, to do the tango and started to truly LOVE the tango, when I saw that the current tango is the NOW I'm in, that was the key that opened the door!
I cherish your words! Thank you! |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2007 : 2:48:49 PM
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Hi EMC,
I have really enjoyed your posts over the last few days, are you willing to share the details of what the Bernie Prior retreat was like?
thanks,
A
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2007 : 9:33:47 PM
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Thanks for reflecting back, Andrew. I am glad you enjoy my recent posts. I enjoy writing them, since they are written mostly without emc being the writer. My hands and arms fly weightless in the air and write whatever is to be written.
Bernie Prior is not very well known. He is one of those great ones whose teachings go so deep you realize there's no point in storytelling, since it refers to the past. So how shall the word be spread about his teachings?
Attending the retreat was truly a journey from ego to I in a rapid pace. I had attended his satsangs and workshops for 2 weeks during the summer, and he said "You must come to the retreat as well". I felt the urge and went. During the retreat I understood how a Master is serving. All participants were transparent to him - he knew our hearts and minds - and all of us got exactly what we needed to go forward. He held satsangs but first and foremost what he does is he teaches a movement - dance - called The Form. It is extremely transforming without leaving any overload symptoms at all. It's literally mirroring the whole universe and integrates it to be inside you instead of outside - making that shift in perspective! I feel perfectly ok, and actually the overload symptoms (eczema, head ache, heat) I had when I came to the retreat disappeared. (I have come to realize that it's only the ego that has overload symptoms, headaches, heat etc. Staying in the presence gives no symptoms at all. I feel that quite clearly when I flip-flop in and out of time. Heat and headaches disappear in an instant when I become real and true.)
I really don't know what to say. Bernie as a person is absolutely nothing. He is THAT in a character called Bernie, and he has a very deep realization. The contact with him leaves no attachments, since there's nobody there to be attached to. If you try to chat with him from your mind, he barely hears you and seldom answers. Talk to him from your true heart and you get instant direction of what is true for you in the moment. Try to ask a mindy question and he immediately pin points where your wounds are that made you ask that question. You don't get away with anything. Actually, I discovered you don't need to ask any questions at all. He sees what's in people's minds and just brings it up as a topic or turns directly to you and comment on it before you blink, or more common later during the retreat: appears as the inner guru talking to you! He sees all that takes place in the room since his awareness is so wide. Scary for the mind, but after a while your mind has freaked out so much so you understand it's your being that is the one who directly drinks his words, in order to awaken the individual consciousness (which is being a part of the One Supreme Intelligence Consciousness - The One exposed as multiplicity and therefore able to know itself).
I just opened my heart more and more, surrendered to WHAT IS, and learned how my mind works. Just interacting with the other participants was helpful since they all were quick to point out "That's the mind" whenever it took over and presence was lost. You could soon feel the drop in energy whenever someone was mindy. Insight after insight hit me, often giving me a real beautiful buddha laugh. Sometimes I overcame mind obstacles with the help of Byron Katie's voice asking "Is that really true?" I cried and cried whenever my heart opened, I dove with full awareness into whatever painful emotion that bubbled up, and I laughed and laughed when I realized oneness, mind function, the ridiculous seriousness with wich we live in duality, and I often stopped to talk to the trees or cats who caressed me gently whenever I needed. In the beginning I held the daily meditations, but at the end my mind could not bring itself to it and The Self just didn't bring my body-mind vehicle to meditate on the mantra. And I chose to stay present and follow the flow.
Bernie can't be talked about or described. He must be experienced, just as the Silence. They are the same. Meeting Bernie is meeting pure silence in action. And realizing Bernie is in me, that I am Bernie, is freedom, equality, love, sameness, oneness, bliss, wonder, awe, universal glory, passion... Love of the Love that I am. On top of that, he's a really, really funny guy!  We got a 9 day stand-up comedian show on the retreat!
Go see for yourselves. He comes to USA in September... |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2007 : 08:03:35 AM
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PS: I'd like to add that he gives The Form to realized persons as well which brings them deeper into the mystery! There's no end to how much the consciousness can expand.
The Way that can be experienced is not true;
The world that can be constructed is not real.
The Way manifests all that happens and may happen;
The world represents all that exists and may exist.
To experience without abstraction is to sense the world;
To experience with abstraction is to know the world.
These two experiences are indistinguishable;
Their construction differs but their effect is the same.
Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world.
Tao Te Ching
You bewilder us with your grace,
all evils transformed into goodness.
You are the master alchemist.
You light the fire of love in Earth and Sky,
in heart and soul of every being.
Through your loving,
existence and non-existence merge.
All opposites unite.
All that is profane becomes sacred again.
/Rumi
I did not grasp the last sentence before. All that is profane becomes sacred again. But it does. Absolutely everything existing on earth is sacred, no matter our opinions about it. Because it's not real, only experienced. It's a wonderful reflection of the Self, constantly giving birth, constantly dying in existence. We step in an out of existence as we live and die, we bring our patternings and we dissolve it and create more of it.
The Source, the one, the Way is a big AAAAAAAAAHHHHH. How is the world of existence? It is SO! It is what is. Two sides of the same coin. The insight may be like: Ah, so! (German: Achso!) aaah, sooo haaahh. And this eternal truth brings a long yummie yummie nodding MMmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! That is actually: So! Haaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. So'ham. The mantra So'ham is the inherent in everybody, in all of us; it repeats itself continually, along with our breathing, mirroring all of IT. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 12:08:52 PM
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Thanks EMC.
A |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 4:23:18 PM
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Thank you, Andrew. I love you. I love you endlessly. My heart wants to burst in gratefulness for you being there for me to perceive and receive reflections from. I cry constantly when I write.
Endless gratefulness to Yogani and the I AM meditation, without which I don't think I would have been ready to taste this shift in identity. I haven't got a clue where it will go from here - this current tango dance. I am aware of the fact that I'm high after a retreat. I am also aware that I flip-flop a lot. Time will tell where I'll go from here. Ego's don't let go easily... |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 11:40:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
the overload symptoms... I had when I came to the retreat disappeared.
but....
quote:
Originally posted by emc
I cry constantly when I write.
There are bhakti overload symptoms, too, EMC.
Walk. Ground. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Aug 20 2007 11:40:25 PM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 03:34:25 AM
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| Thank you for your concern, but I do not understand what bhakti overload would be. I do not find this to be overload if that implies any types of discomfort or problems. I am well grounded and manage to work and deal with the world perfectly while this cleansing and dissolving is going on. Could you make me more aware of what bhakti overload means? |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 2:23:24 PM
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| For me, constant crying would be something other than "grounded". But everything's relative! :) |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2007 : 5:59:19 PM
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Firstly, Jim thank you for your post. Like I said above, I don't get it.. and I did not.. till last night.. I get it now.. what you mean by love it all.
In my own experience, the term "Love" has always been attached to many emotions and sentiments (mind filters:)). I had no idea there was something like pure love.. a feeling that is not associated with any emotion.. It does not feel like romantic love for a partner, or caring, protective love for a child, or grateful, respectful love for a parent, etc. It is just pure feeling arising from the heart with absolutely no emotions/labels attached. We have all experienced this at some time or the other, however they may have been very fleeting feelings that we have not realized existed, and that we may not have recognized as Love.
Yesterday I was reading the Alchemist by Paul Coehlo.. and there was a part where he says "He tried to deal with the concept of love as distinct from possession, and couldn't separate them". Later during meditation a though arose "you can love without possession". This thought started expanding.. it was spreading and automatically being applied to people in my life.. a feeling of just pure love with no stories attached. I stayed with it for a bit.. then finished my meditation.
Later I was driving alone when the thought of someone who has been a very negative influence on my life came to me. I saw her in my mind.. and before last night , any time I thought of her, my emotions took over and I would get sad and depressed and drown in self pity. But this time was different. I could see very clearly.. I realized that she really did love me and all her possessive, controlling, trying to change me, was her own distorted way of showing me her love. That is the only way she knew how to show love. When that filter of all the mental and emotional abuse she put me through dropped, all I saw was the love behind it. I am not saying what she did was right or it was OK for her to treat another human the way she did. All I am saying is when I saw the story, I could drop it and become free from it. I realized that it was not how she treated me that kept me imprisoned, it was the story my mind made around the situation that kept me imprisoned.. and when I drop the story, all that is left is love.
I realized what the statement, "you can love without possession" meant. Possession does not have to mean physical possession.. just holding on to a mental story is also a kind of possession.. and dropping this mental story is really loving someone without possessing.
I went through the entire evening, enjoying this new opening, this new freedom.. it was such a tiny switch, but such a huge relief. All through the evening, my ego tried to create another story to show me how flawed my thinking was.. but it just could not stick. I could appy this to many other situations in my life.. and it was so easy to feel love (even for the stubbed toe:)..).
As I sat with this all evening, I felt love emanating from my heart. Such pure emotionless, sentiment-less, story-less love. It expanded and took over me.. and then around everyone I knew.. I had no identity.. I was not Shanti, I was not a woman, nor was I a mother or wife or daughter or friend.. I was just love with no boundaries. I looked up to thank Ma, and my awareness was drawn within.. I realized, Ma was in me, Ma was me, I was Ma. I had tears of love and gratitude rolling down my cheeks.
And the best part of this whole thing.. None of it was mystical, no lights and bells and angels and aums.. No image of Ma.. No blessings from the skies.. Nothing.. just a pure feeling of love, a pure essence of Ma and a pure joy in my heart. Nothing changed in my life.. and yet everything has changed. I am lighter and see more clearly.. and yet every one of the situations that existed before last evening are still there. I just don't have an attachment to it. It is such a minuscule shift in perception.. and yet such a life changing shift.
I don't know if I manged to convey anything in this post. It is so hard to put these experiences into words. All I can say is, it comes your way when you least expect it.. and is as normal a feeling as looking at the palm of your hand. You may be looking at it everyday.. and suddenly one day you will see it. |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2007 : 10:22:12 PM
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Beautifully explained Shanti, clear as a bell
Sounds wonderful, send some this way please
quote:
Later during meditation a thought arose "you can love without possession". This thought started expanding.. it was spreading and automatically being applied to people in my life.. a feeling of just pure love with no stories attached.
I find this very interesting, the way a thought arises in meditation. One could say the thought triggered the awakening but how did the thought arrive, i.e. was it a result of a thought process going on at the time, or did it just pop in out of the blue?
and was what followed, similar to a samyama experience? |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 08:36:33 AM
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Shanti, thanks for writing that!
Yes, we are all that love. We are what Jesus preached about.
It becomes very clear what Katie means when she says "It only takes one to have a great relationship, and that's me!"
Love that love. Drink from that well and get to know thyself!
I love thee, my love!
All we need is love... tamtadadadaaaaaaa |
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