Note: For the complete lessons, with additions, see the AYP Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living Books.

Lesson T15 - Q&A – Lustful pleasures

From: Yogani
Date: Sat Mar 6, 2004 4:12pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"

Q: I have always been very easily corrupted and have allowed my form to be used in ways that are damaging to my inner growth. Before I began reading your posts I had no reference nor a concept of how to go about solving my dilemma. I've awakened the inner teacher in myself and so many questions are readily answered for me... yet this area has been the most difficult because in the past I have enjoyed my sexual exploits and basically ignored the inner voice in these kinds of situations, because weakness was greater than my desire to move ahead. I understand that there is no condemnation, that I have the free will and that I willingly chose lustful pleasures over the Higher Love pleasures. Having said all that, thank you again, since I've begun with the exercises you've shared, I've been able to see a change in my expression. There has begun to be a true devotional loving and I think you call it ecstatic energy in my body, from the base of my spine up to my heart and throat centers.

A: We know that lustful pleasures are intense but short-lived. As we move to a more spiritual orientation with our sex, then we are cultivating long term changes in our nervous system.

It may be difficult with a partner if you are used to having his seed and your satisfaction right away. There could be factors relating to relationships with members of the opposite sex – a subconsciousness need to sexually exploit or be exploited. Yoga practices will eventually get to the bottom of these karmic influences and release them. That is sexual healing, as discussed in an earlier lesson.

In cases where working with a partner in tantric sexual relations is difficult due to strong lustful habits, it might be benefical to work alone for a while, establishing a good routine of "right-handed" practices -- meditation, spinal breathing, mulabandha, siddhasana, and so on. There can be good stimulation of sexual energy for yoga in sitting practices. Solo masturabation could also be explored in tantric mode, if you are already inclined toward it. In that case, when you masturbate, see if you can develop a habit of staying in front of orgasm using the solo version of the holdback method. With all this, in time, your desire for lustful pleasure will lose some of its luster. That is because the inner spiritual pleasure will be coming up more and more, and it is very sastifying, not just for the moment, but ongoing day and night.

A strong libido is actually a great advantage in spiritual practices, assuming you can bring some discipline to your stimulative practices. That is really the key. Passion with a purpose, you know. You will know you are making progress when you can just be aroused without having to go to climax. It takes time. Siddhasana is a great practice for cultivating that mode of constant stimulation without expectations. The "bucking bronco" of siddhasana will settle down eventually. Then you will find ecstatic bliss trickling up and down all through you. Lustful pleasures will seem a small thing then, and will slip from consciousnes during yogic sexual stimulation, and in regular daily activity as well.

Gradually, you will begin to view men differently. Then you will be able to engage with a partner, if you choose, without it being in exploiter or exploited mode. If it is still either one of these, then consider working some more on your own until you can invite someone into your bed with enough divine love to be there for him more than yourself. It will happen if you persist in your practices. You will attract men of higher spiritual quality too. Or maybe you will move beyond sex with a partner altogether. It all depends on your inclinations. It all depends on where your bhakti (divine desire) leads you.

The guru is in you.

Note:  For detailed instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga practices and the enlightenment process, see the AYP Tantra book.

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