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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 05 2021 : 12:20:13 PM
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Hello,
In the AYP forum, or now for that matter, I am as vulnerable as I ever was. So please excuse my undertone of self pity.
I try to be in front in the yoga classroom but its hard with all the libido and envy issues that seems to come for me in my early 20’s. I cry in bhakti, most often at nothing. Nothing as in randomly for no reason at all or that I cry because I see how much ”nothing” or nonsense that my unneccesary pain originated from.
On top of this we have yoga that hugs me firmly but softly. A firm hug because I can only trust to handle 10 min (DM) sessions. And I am loosing patience because my life is so much more fun with merely 1 min pranayama or additional DM.
Maybe I can alternate on and of with pranayama because I get overloaded with restlessness after a couple of days of an implemented SBP routine? Additional DM too, it works for a week or two and then I feel too much pressure in my head.
Yoga hugs me softly because of empathy. Yoga has given me too much empathy it seems, although I inquire persistenly when issues cloud my view. Can I really know that this is true? Do other people mean that, ill ask them!? Do they feel that, ill ask them? Even if my empathic compass turns out to be wrong It hurts to be among people almost everyday. Interpaul recommended me to just notice what subconscious, direct or indirect energy that comes from peers. Noticing is helpful but my pencil is not wide enough for these emotions. Btw could this noticing of energy be a kind of Neti Neti?
Pleaee chime in on any angle. Best wishes Wil
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
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interpaul
USA
524 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2021 : 6:06:38 PM
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| Wil, Sorry to hear you are continuing to struggle to find balance in your life. It does sound like you are a very sensitive individual. As you find ways to balance your energies, your awareness, empathy, and sensitivity will be a greater gift you can share with the world. I recall a similar experience in a yoga class when I was in my 20s. I spent a lot of time distracted by women in the class and felt a sense of competition with a guy across from me who did perfect head stands. I eventually learned to let go of this and pay attention to how my body responded to each movement. I would heed the advice of more experienced practitioners such as Christi regarding finding the right balance of practices as the message repeated over and over in Yogani's teachings and on these forums is self pacing and reducing energetic practices if you feel "uncomfortable". Try to give yourself a break trying to figure out everything now. You can't have a balanced and clear awareness when you are overwhelmed. You will have many years ahead to enjoy all of the fruits of these practices once you find your rhythm. |
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Dogboy
USA
2193 Posts |
Posted - Oct 06 2021 : 01:37:58 AM
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Hi Wil
I enjoyed the thread you posted, very sound advice from 2009. I liked Jack’s advice to lean into love and kindness as a way through, and Carson’s advice to notice your breath in hot moments, get it normal, start there. I would highly recommend getting outside as much as you can to ground; meditation outside has been essential this past year!
Your crying is a phase your practice has exposed, it will move on. Your empathy is your guardian angel, and not the problem. Learn to find acceptance whatever state you have found yourself in, sit with feelings in silence and release like sutras. 
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Edited by - Dogboy on Oct 06 2021 01:42:11 AM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Oct 06 2021 : 08:29:19 AM
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Hello Wil
Just ground and cut down practices
Now is not the time to enquire |
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
Posted - Oct 06 2021 : 4:41:26 PM
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Yes, I hope this empathy will be of some service someday. Maybe I exaggerated by feeling hurt by others, its more of a stickiness that clouds my mind and I am tired of sitting with the nonsense.
I hope your practice is going well Interpaul. Two years AYP for me by winter.
Right Dogboy, its a nice tread.
Self pacing well. I think ill cut down to one session a day. Skip samyama? A break from practice :/? …is that even possible for me lol!?
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Oct 07 2021 : 06:17:45 AM
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Dear Will,
I note that you are already at only 10 mins DM. Perhaps you should try switching to breath awareness meditation instead? Or yes, leave out Samyama.
Sey  |
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
Posted - Oct 08 2021 : 7:56:52 PM
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Yes. Ever since I discovered deep meditation I have been reluctant to breath meditation.
Now I thought again. Damn, Im attached to DMs way of bringing me prana |
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Stille
Germany
76 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2021 : 9:19:30 PM
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| Have you tried skipping Samyama practice yet? It stimulates both stillness and energy very strongly in me. Maybe that is the case for you as well. |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2021 : 2:33:14 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Wil
Yoga hugs me softly because of empathy. Yoga has given me too much empathy it seems, although I inquire persistenly when issues cloud my view. Can I really know that this is true? Do other people mean that, ill ask them!? Do they feel that, ill ask them? Even if my empathic compass turns out to be wrong It hurts to be among people almost everyday. Interpaul recommended me to just notice what subconscious, direct or indirect energy that comes from peers. Noticing is helpful but my pencil is not wide enough for these emotions. Btw could this noticing of energy be a kind of Neti Neti?
Yoga practice does make one more empathic, as the barriers that separate you from others start to thin. It is good to spend enough time with yourself to recognize your state as a baseline. Then when emotions and experiences come in from other people, they will be easier to recognize as such. And in the same time, we get to recognize that other people’s energy is not fundamentally foreigner to us. We are all expressions of the same pure bliss consciousness, and we are all of it.
As the heart opens and clears, we live with the “heart in the hand” or “an open heart.” Another dimension of perception refines for us. The heart is recognized as expanding infinitely as the world, it may feel painfully tender and sweet and raw – and all is well. It has always been this way, and now we become more and more aware of this. It may feel incredibly vulnerable – and in time this is recognized as incredibly powerful. The power comes from recognizing what you really are.
The heart is balanced by the third eye – and thus the pressure in the head if there are still stubborn impurities. So take it easy, do not spend too much time lingering over symptoms and experiences. Better do something for someone, be in the world, and share your gifts.
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2021 : 11:12:15 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Stille
Have you tried skipping Samyama practice yet? It stimulates both stillness and energy very strongly in me. Maybe that is the case for you as well.
Yees. Actually it is the opposite. I even remember a time where it smoothed out DM sessions. In general Samyama does not energeticallly interefere for me. Now I have come to the conclusion to look under each rock so I will try leaving out Samyama for a while among other things. |
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2021 : 11:34:04 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Blanche
quote:
Originally posted by Wil
Yoga hugs me softly because of empathy. Yoga has given me too much empathy it seems, although I inquire persistenly when issues cloud my view. Can I really know that this is true? Do other people mean that, ill ask them!? Do they feel that, ill ask them? Even if my empathic compass turns out to be wrong It hurts to be among people almost everyday. Interpaul recommended me to just notice what subconscious, direct or indirect energy that comes from peers. Noticing is helpful but my pencil is not wide enough for these emotions. Btw could this noticing of energy be a kind of Neti Neti?
Yoga practice does make one more empathic, as the barriers that separate you from others start to thin. It is good to spend enough time with yourself to recognize your state as a baseline. Then when emotions and experiences come in from other people, they will be easier to recognize as such. And in the same time, we get to recognize that other people’s energy is not fundamentally foreigner to us. We are all expressions of the same pure bliss consciousness, and we are all of it.
As the heart opens and clears, we live with the “heart in the hand” or “an open heart.” Another dimension of perception refines for us. The heart is recognized as expanding infinitely as the world, it may feel painfully tender and sweet and raw – and all is well. It has always been this way, and now we become more and more aware of this. It may feel incredibly vulnerable – and in time this is recognized as incredibly powerful. The power comes from recognizing what you really are.
The heart is balanced by the third eye – and thus the pressure in the head if there are still stubborn impurities. So take it easy, do not spend too much time lingering over symptoms and experiences. Better do something for someone, be in the world, and share your gifts.
I feel hopeful now. Im vulnerable but powerful? Dont be afraid to be weak, dont be too proud to be strong—words that ring my ears. Perhaps iI have alot of mental’ scenery right now. See you further onward in the book.
Btw, I am not sure I like psychology anymore hehe, thats another subject perhaps. |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2021 : 12:56:07 PM
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The power comes not from being weak  . The power comes from knowing what you are. Socrates said that before knowing thyself other pursuits are irrelevant. |
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2022 : 01:47:55 AM
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Socrates. My man!
Now when I re-read this thread I see my possible misinterpretation.. quote:
"I try to be in front in the yoga classroom but its hard with all the libido and envy issues"
. I did not mean literarily hahah , I think I meant that I struggled with welcoming peace because of the apperent purification symptoms.
Furthermore an update. There is no more struggle with people the way I did, although at times after social constelations I return to my meditation in the evening to find a great release and ease. |
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Wil
Sweden
150 Posts |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2022 : 7:22:14 PM
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Inspired, beautiful words.
quote:
Even though the heart is the most vulnerable aspect of our nature, it is also the strongest, and when it opens, it can carry us through anything, because love transcends everything. On the path, love is even beyond bliss.
Where do you see love in relation to non-duality, Christi?
quote:
Love is the goal of yoga. It is where everything ends up.
Love is still in duality, right? Or, in the words of my favourite poet "Love went on and on / Until it reached an open door/ Then love itself was gone"
Would you say that when we are in the world, we are love. In non duality, we are emptiness. And the two states can coexist... It becomes difficult for words to explain it. I think this is where conceptual thinking struggles to make sense of it. |
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Dogboy
USA
2193 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2022 : 4:35:23 PM
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quote:
Would you say that when we are in the world, we are love. In non duality, we are emptiness. And the two states can coexist... It becomes difficult for words to explain it. I think this is where conceptual thinking struggles to make sense of it.
Here here
(Hear hear!) |
Edited by - Dogboy on Jul 06 2022 10:38:54 PM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2022 : 11:35:16 PM
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quote:
Where do you see love in relation to non-duality, Christi?...
Love is still in duality, right? Or, in the words of my favourite poet "Love went on and on / Until it reached an open door/ Then love itself was gone"
Hi BlueRaincoat,
I didn't recognise that poem, so I did a search and saw it was Leonard Cohen.
Of course there are different kinds of love, so it is not a simple subject. The romantic love that we see in the movies, is based in duality, as it is one person loving another person. Or two people loving each other. So, there is separation and the love is a form of desire or attachment between two people. Romantic love can be limiting or harmful, or it can be beautiful and lead us further towards the Divine. So, it can go either way.
And then there is Divine love, which cannot exist in duality. It is a quality of unity, or non-duality (advaita). It is the connected nature of all things. You could say that Divine Love is the binding force that connects everything and everyone in unity. So, it is one of the fruits of yoga and one of the qualities of enlightenment.
Yogani mentions this in this lesson:
Lesson 274 - What's the End Game in Yoga?
"As for what is next once inner silence and ecstatic conductivity are coming up, it is a long drawn-out joining of these two, played out as much in our daily activity as in our practices. This gives rise to the "child" of the union, as it were, called "jivan mukti," or "christ consciousness." This is the end game of yoga, and corresponds to what I call "outpouring divine love." It means we increasingly see the world as our own self and act accordingly -- "doing unto others" in service. That, in turn, accelerates our advancement into unity, which is another word for jivan mukti or christ consciousness." [Yogani]
And from the same lesson:
"So the heart is where we will end up with all this. The heart is the final home of our enlightenment in this body, with the neuro-biology of the whole body supporting that. There is much to do in setting the stage for this final outcome, and that is what AYP is about." [Yogani]
Christi |
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Vulnerability
