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Franco90
Argentina
1 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 14 2020 : 08:22:17 AM
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Hi all!
I am new here, and I have registered since many of the doubts I have about kundalini lead me to this site and I decided to register because I have a query.
First of all I want to clarify that I have never practiced yoga, stable or regular meditation.
But since the age of 19 (currently 30)
I was always curious about the occult, which made me drunk on reading of all kinds ... until 2 years ago a depression hit me and I began to be more aware of myself and started a spiritual path so to speak.
The only thing I can say that the only regular 'practice' was self-inquiry and once it worked for me, I have learned to rest my consciousness on the 'I am', a while has passed and in a matter of 2 months I have begun to have some unusual behaviors in my body / organism.
Prior to these symptoms I had a strange experience sleeping.
- I wake up in a dream, having totally lucid, I find myself in a dark, empty place, without the presence of anyone or anything, there were no voices, only consciousness. A moment later I appear lucid in front of 4 people around a table with candles (they had a rabbinic style) one of them I remember his face, with a book in his hand, he looked at me and began to feel how my body was on fire and I I was raised to a height of the ceiling and this 'consciousness' was floating while my body disintegrated. It was so real, I felt everything. even the energy throughout my body after waking up to this experience.
From that night all kinds of sensations began in my body.
- I started having a very strong pain in what respects my prostate close, as if it were beating. Even when I was masturbating it was very painful. This lasted 1 week.
- I began to have a tremendous sexual desire that I could not resist, so I have masturbated a lot (and this is my concern)
- I started to have spasms and cramps in both legs (especially when I am relaxed sitting or lying down)
- Very strong pain in the whole back, sometimes it is in the lower part or sometimes in the middle part (as if I had been working with a heavy load)
- I don't know if this is crazy, but after reading and understanding what the 'everything' is, I find as if my questions are answered by someone (maybe it's a mental game). But after the understanding of 'all is one' I feel that everything makes sense and the answers are generated by myself in my head. (Maybe it's the ego)
- when I am alone or taking a shower, I may be sitting unconscious and distracted, but when I am conscious I am doing mudras with my hands (I have never practiced this, nor have mudras).
I have also noticed that I am doing stretches or poses, unconscious, even when I am lying down I have my legs in the shape of a 4 and I feel like the energy passed from one leg to another.
- Finally 2 days ago I began to have bubbling or sensations between the eyebrows. Sometimes it is very noticeable and at times it disappears.
My query is that I feel a lot of sexual need, I can't help masturbating. The last time I did it, when I reached orgasm I felt as if something was pushing up from my prostate and I felt a sensation, that left me speechless (which scared me).
Sorry my message is long. But I have many doubts that my ego is doing me a trick, since when I read many books I may have fallen and I do not know if this is a kundalini awakening because I have never done anything, more than a time of self-inquiry and rest of consciousness.
*Can this be a hoax?
*Is masturbation a problem if this energy is awakening?
Thank you very much for your patienc, and sorry for my bad english, i used translator |
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Stille
Germany
76 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2020 : 07:24:00 AM
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Dear Franco,
thank you for sharing your story.
I suggest that you start reading the ayp lessons on this website. They will probably explain much that is happening to you. If you have trouble understanding english then you can use the google translate function on the website to switch to your native language. You can also check out Yogani's books since they have been translated into many languages, including spanish as far as I know.
Furthermore I'd advice you to reduce/stop your ongoing inquiry if it causes you discomfort and pain. Rather start by integrating deep meditation (https://www.aypsite.com/13.html) into your daily routine (take it slow!) and see if it helps you. An effective daily meditation practise which produces inner silence is a very good foundation for self inquiry practise.
Check out this lessons as they may help you in your current situation:
https://www.aypsite.com/69.html
https://www.aypsite.com/304.html
You can use the topic paths to find more lessons on subjects of interest to you.
I wish you all the best on your journey 
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Kundalini and masturbation
