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 Satsang Cafe - General Discussions on AYP
 Vulnerability
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Wil

Sweden
80 Posts

Posted - Oct 05 2021 :  12:20:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hello,

In the AYP forum, or now for that matter, I am as vulnerable as I ever was. So please excuse my undertone of self pity.
I try to be in front in the yoga classroom but its hard with all the libido and envy issues that seems to come for me in my early 20’s. I cry in bhakti, most often at nothing. Nothing as in randomly for no reason at all or that I cry because I see how much ”nothing” or nonsense that my unneccesary pain originated from.

On top of this we have yoga that hugs me firmly but softly. A firm hug because I can only trust to handle 10 min (DM) sessions. And I am loosing patience because my life is so much more fun with merely 1 min pranayama or additional DM.
Maybe I can alternate on and of with pranayama because I get overloaded with restlessness after a couple of days of an implemented SBP routine? Additional DM too, it works for a week or two and then I feel too much pressure in my head.

Yoga hugs me softly because of empathy. Yoga has given me too much empathy it seems, although I inquire persistenly when issues cloud my view. Can I really know that this is true? Do other people mean that, ill ask them!? Do they feel that, ill ask them? Even if my empathic compass turns out to be wrong It hurts to be among people almost everyday. Interpaul recommended me to just notice what subconscious, direct or indirect energy that comes from peers. Noticing is helpful but my pencil is not wide enough for these emotions. Btw could this noticing of energy be a kind of Neti Neti?

Pleaee chime in on any angle. Best wishes Wil

Wil

Sweden
80 Posts

Posted - Oct 05 2021 :  3:19:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I went and duplicated a topic. I found my crewmembers, we seem to be in the same boat: https://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic...ID=5105#5105
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interpaul

USA
346 Posts

Posted - Oct 05 2021 :  6:06:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Wil, Sorry to hear you are continuing to struggle to find balance in your life. It does sound like you are a very sensitive individual. As you find ways to balance your energies, your awareness, empathy, and sensitivity will be a greater gift you can share with the world. I recall a similar experience in a yoga class when I was in my 20s. I spent a lot of time distracted by women in the class and felt a sense of competition with a guy across from me who did perfect head stands. I eventually learned to let go of this and pay attention to how my body responded to each movement. I would heed the advice of more experienced practitioners such as Christi regarding finding the right balance of practices as the message repeated over and over in Yogani's teachings and on these forums is self pacing and reducing energetic practices if you feel "uncomfortable". Try to give yourself a break trying to figure out everything now. You can't have a balanced and clear awareness when you are overwhelmed. You will have many years ahead to enjoy all of the fruits of these practices once you find your rhythm.
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Dogboy

USA
1884 Posts

Posted - Oct 06 2021 :  01:37:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Wil

I enjoyed the thread you posted, very sound advice from 2009. I liked Jack’s advice to lean into love and kindness as a way through, and Carson’s advice to notice your breath in hot moments, get it normal, start there. I would highly recommend getting outside as much as you can to ground; meditation outside has been essential this past year!

Your crying is a phase your practice has exposed, it will move on. Your empathy is your guardian angel, and not the problem. Learn to find acceptance whatever state you have found yourself in, sit with feelings in silence and release like sutras.



Edited by - Dogboy on Oct 06 2021 01:42:11 AM
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maheswari

Lebanon
2516 Posts

Posted - Oct 06 2021 :  08:29:19 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello Wil
Just ground and cut down practices
Now is not the time to enquire
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Wil

Sweden
80 Posts

Posted - Oct 06 2021 :  4:41:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yes, I hope this empathy will be of some service someday. Maybe I exaggerated by feeling hurt by others, its more of a stickiness that clouds my mind and I am tired of sitting with the nonsense.
I hope your practice is going well Interpaul. Two years AYP for me by winter.

Right Dogboy, its a nice tread.

Self pacing well. I think ill cut down to one session a day. Skip samyama? A break from practice :/? …is that even possible for me lol!?

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SeySorciere

Seychelles
1377 Posts

Posted - Oct 07 2021 :  06:17:45 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Will,

I note that you are already at only 10 mins DM. Perhaps you should try switching to breath awareness meditation instead? Or yes, leave out Samyama.


Sey
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Wil

Sweden
80 Posts

Posted - Oct 08 2021 :  7:56:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yes. Ever since I discovered deep meditation I have been reluctant to breath meditation.
Now I thought again. Damn, Im attached to DMs way of bringing me prana
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Stille

Germany
75 Posts

Posted - Oct 11 2021 :  9:19:30 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Have you tried skipping Samyama practice yet? It stimulates both stillness and energy very strongly in me. Maybe that is the case for you as well.
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Blanche

USA
738 Posts

Posted - Oct 14 2021 :  2:33:14 PM  Show Profile  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Wil


Yoga hugs me softly because of empathy. Yoga has given me too much empathy it seems, although I inquire persistenly when issues cloud my view. Can I really know that this is true? Do other people mean that, ill ask them!? Do they feel that, ill ask them? Even if my empathic compass turns out to be wrong It hurts to be among people almost everyday. Interpaul recommended me to just notice what subconscious, direct or indirect energy that comes from peers. Noticing is helpful but my pencil is not wide enough for these emotions. Btw could this noticing of energy be a kind of Neti Neti?



Yoga practice does make one more empathic, as the barriers that separate you from others start to thin. It is good to spend enough time with yourself to recognize your state as a baseline. Then when emotions and experiences come in from other people, they will be easier to recognize as such. And in the same time, we get to recognize that other people’s energy is not fundamentally foreigner to us. We are all expressions of the same pure bliss consciousness, and we are all of it.

As the heart opens and clears, we live with the “heart in the hand” or “an open heart.” Another dimension of perception refines for us. The heart is recognized as expanding infinitely as the world, it may feel painfully tender and sweet and raw – and all is well. It has always been this way, and now we become more and more aware of this. It may feel incredibly vulnerable – and in time this is recognized as incredibly powerful. The power comes from recognizing what you really are.

The heart is balanced by the third eye – and thus the pressure in the head if there are still stubborn impurities. So take it easy, do not spend too much time lingering over symptoms and experiences. Better do something for someone, be in the world, and share your gifts.
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Wil

Sweden
80 Posts

Posted - Oct 16 2021 :  11:12:15 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Stille

Have you tried skipping Samyama practice yet? It stimulates both stillness and energy very strongly in me. Maybe that is the case for you as well.



Yees. Actually it is the opposite. I even remember a time where it smoothed out DM sessions. In general Samyama does not energeticallly interefere for me. Now I have come to the conclusion to look under each rock so I will try leaving out Samyama for a while among other things.
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Wil

Sweden
80 Posts

Posted - Oct 16 2021 :  11:34:04 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Blanche

quote:
Originally posted by Wil


Yoga hugs me softly because of empathy. Yoga has given me too much empathy it seems, although I inquire persistenly when issues cloud my view. Can I really know that this is true? Do other people mean that, ill ask them!? Do they feel that, ill ask them? Even if my empathic compass turns out to be wrong It hurts to be among people almost everyday. Interpaul recommended me to just notice what subconscious, direct or indirect energy that comes from peers. Noticing is helpful but my pencil is not wide enough for these emotions. Btw could this noticing of energy be a kind of Neti Neti?



Yoga practice does make one more empathic, as the barriers that separate you from others start to thin. It is good to spend enough time with yourself to recognize your state as a baseline. Then when emotions and experiences come in from other people, they will be easier to recognize as such. And in the same time, we get to recognize that other people’s energy is not fundamentally foreigner to us. We are all expressions of the same pure bliss consciousness, and we are all of it.

As the heart opens and clears, we live with the “heart in the hand” or “an open heart.” Another dimension of perception refines for us. The heart is recognized as expanding infinitely as the world, it may feel painfully tender and sweet and raw – and all is well. It has always been this way, and now we become more and more aware of this. It may feel incredibly vulnerable – and in time this is recognized as incredibly powerful. The power comes from recognizing what you really are.

The heart is balanced by the third eye – and thus the pressure in the head if there are still stubborn impurities. So take it easy, do not spend too much time lingering over symptoms and experiences. Better do something for someone, be in the world, and share your gifts.




I feel hopeful now. Im vulnerable but powerful? Dont be afraid to be weak, dont be too proud to be strong—words that ring my ears. Perhaps iI have alot of mental’ scenery right now. See you further onward in the book.

Btw, I am not sure I like psychology anymore hehe, thats another subject perhaps.
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Blanche

USA
738 Posts

Posted - Oct 18 2021 :  12:56:07 PM  Show Profile  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
The power comes not from being weak . The power comes from knowing what you are. Socrates said that before knowing thyself other pursuits are irrelevant.
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