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No, karma or a spiritual framework is not part of my experience with my in-laws. I know this is a spiritual board, but there was no trying to accept or forgive or anything like that, and I don't understand or try to understand karma. Things can happen that bring you together. You might not notice, and it's okay. I'm just saying this can work it's self out without any effort or labeling. One day, you may find your in-laws becoming your family, telling them you love them even though they get on your nerves, for no reason at all.

P.S. I hope this doesn't come across as mean or whatever. What I'm trying to say is that everything does not need a " spiritual label" or framework. Circumstances or life or God, will give you repeated opportunities to find compassion for your in- laws. Through a life there will be joyous occasions and heartbreakers and everything in-between. There's no worries, sunyata. You'll find your place in this family. It could be much better than you ever expected

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Sunyata the true story was for you and the few that read it.

After I felt it had been consumed it was removed. No need for unintended parties to read and become unhappy.

From my perspective all of life is spiritual and there is nothing that is not. In fact I will say that in recent times I am perceiving things in fits and starts as they are becoming known to my awareness that are taking me right out of this plane of existence and opening to a new level of existence that is oh so much more and this human life is such a very, very small part of it.

The only way I can describe it is it is like having lived under a sea of dense fog all your life, and you are conditioned to the heavy humid warm cloying fog and so is everyone else but in fits and starts you find yourself high up above in a crystal clear cool dry night sky with all the stars standing out in stark relief and you realize that you are neither of that nor the fog below it is such a clear cool perception free of all the waste heat.

Still this life is so very important because if not for this how else then shall we become more aware of our own reality. All these human interactions are spiritual because there is not one human being who is not of spirit.

Lol a great many do not yet know this much about themselves nor can they even conceive of it. Oh well all in due time.

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Just want to offer my well wishes and prayers to you, Sunyata ...

I have also had tough times dealing with my husband's mom and extended family. But the relationship has become much better over the past couple of years. Several years ago my mother-in-law visited us for a few months and it was not at all easy for me in the beginning. But two things that helped me then were: 1) I consciously started reminding silently to myself one or two good qualities of my mother-in-law whenever I felt not so good. This was forced and kind of artificial at first, but gradually became more natural. After many years (now about 10 years or so) later, I truly admire her for those good qualities. 2) I decided to expect nothing from her, no nods of inclusiveness, approval or appreciation. I tried to be happy as an outsider in her picture of her family, which was my main internal complaint at that time. I used to feel that despite all my efforts to get integrated into the family, I was looked down on and placed at a lower level compared to others in the family ... Accepting that as such was a big step for me. Things have improved a lot since then though.

I am sure you have thought through all these and beyond ... but offering my two cents. I like BRC's idea of 'self pacing' on relationships. When we are completely purified, perhaps we would be able to take in all the diversity in nature without any discomfort, but till then, we can act in a measured way that is conducive to our progress. As long as we don't harbor any ill feelings toward them, it should be OK. Keep blessing them from your heart, you never know, they may change one day.

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I just didn't want to come across as knowing much more than you. I do spiritual practice, but I'm not super spiritual, just a regular gal. Things can get better without opening, karma worked out, whatever. Sometimes, we feel like we have to do something, but I'm just saying, sometimes doing nothing and letting has it's benefits. Everything will workout.

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