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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 7:44:00 PM
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My question is about what to do with emotion that comes up. I try to not analyze it, just to feel it and release it. But this gets exhausting, as more comes up in its place, and it's hard to "deal" with it--what does "dealing" really entail, anyway? Yogani says it releases on its own (thus, psychoanalysis is not needed), but I suspect I am holding onto these obstructions in some way. So I get the emotion to come up--and then, am not sure. Either I feel stuck in the emotion, or more is coming up to replace it (I am familiar with self-inquiry methods, and even they are rather exhausting after awhile IMO).
Generally what ends up happening is that I tire of feeling such strong, sometimes unpleasant emotions, and consciously make a point of eating them down. Aside from being difficult for digestion, it's an expensive method since I buy high quality, organic food. I need to find a way to let things go nicely! I can see why so many people wind down with a drink every night ;) |
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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 8:39:47 PM
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It seems you're doing it right :)
Ideally it does release itself on it's own, but it all depends on how much inner silence there is. And that can't really be forced, only cultivated over time with practices. So ideally releasing is not a doing, letting go is not doing :) I could tell you something like: stay present with the emotion, or relax... but that can also be tiring after a while, because how you react is a function of inner silence present.
Instead of eating you could go for a walk :) do some physical activity... or just simply wait with eating until the emotion subsides, because it's probably not a good idea to eat them down... you're then storing them in your body. I'm sure there'll be more advice coming :) |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 8:52:22 PM
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Thanks, I agree eating emotions down just stores them deeper. So you think things get stuck because I need to grow inner silence, perhaps? That could be why it's so difficult--I keep thinking it's not supposed to be so difficult.
I would wait to eat until the emotions subside, but they don't necessarily. They keep coming all day... that's what's so tiring.
quote:
Originally posted by tadeas
It seems you're doing it right :)
Ideally it does release itself on it's own, but it all depends on how much inner silence there is. And that can't really be forced, only cultivated over time with practices. So ideally releasing is not a doing, letting go is not doing :) I could tell you something like: stay present with the emotion, or relax... but that can also be tiring after a while, because how you react is a function of inner silence present.
Instead of eating you could go for a walk :) do some physical activity... or just simply wait with eating until the emotion subsides, because it's probably not a good idea to eat them down... you're then storing them in your body. I'm sure there'll be more advice coming :)
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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 9:39:45 PM
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Well, if you're meditating, then you're growing inner silence, so the most important thing is covered :) ... It gets easier and easier to release emotions and do (relational) self-inquiry as inner silence comes up more and more.
In other similar threads people have also recommended focusing on your breath, going to your breath with attention for a while. That could help you relax if emotions are too strong. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 10:46:12 PM
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In order to get rid of emotions you need to first fully experience them. There is no reason to get rid of them, and you need to make them OK.
To fully experience them, at first you need to withdraw from other people for a little while. Then you need to focus on each aspect of the emotion separately. This is hard at first, then gets much easier later and you won't need to withdraw from people later.
Close your eyes for this beginning stage, and try to visualize the emotion; it's OK if you are imagining it. Go through all your senses. Vision: what color is it? what shape, how big, Touch: what texture is it? is it warm or cold? What part of your body do you feel it in? Smell: what does it smell like? Sound: what does it sound like? What does it taste like?
As you answer each of these questions, you will be fully experiencing the emotion, and it will begin to change, indicating it is losing its power. It may move. So be fully aware of where it moves to, and what changes, continuing to go through each sense and see what it is now.
This will make the emotion go away, or sometimes you may need to take action to complete it.
You will know; you may need to tell somebody something, or do something to make you feel better.
(By the way this very same technique will get rid of pain). |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 08:32:10 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Close your eyes for this beginning stage, and try to visualize the emotion; it's OK if you are imagining it. Go through all your senses. Vision: what color is it? what shape, how big, Touch: what texture is it? is it warm or cold? What part of your body do you feel it in? Smell: what does it smell like? Sound: what does it sound like? What does it taste like?
In NLP we call that changing submodalities.
Your also mixing it with a technique referred to as clean language :
http://www.cleanlanguage.co.uk/CleanLanguage.html
The easiest way of releasing these emotions is using Time Line Therapy. Again, I should stress that it is not the only way, just one of the easiest and fastest ways of letting go.
It is also compatable with DM.
First establish your personal timeline:
Everybody has one. You need to point to a direction for your future and then point to a direction for your past. Some people have their future in front of them and the past behind. Some have the past to the left and the future to the right. It could easily be a combination of all those, or something entirely different. Whatever it is, it's your own personal timeline and it will work perfectly well for you.
If you cant understand where it is, then remember a past even happening a short time ago, then one a few days ago, then one further in the past. Does this seem to form a line in your past and which direction does it come from ?
Do the same with your future. Thinking of a future event that is happening in the next few hours, then one that is days away. Notice how this describes a line.
Once you have your time line, close your eyes and allow it to form one continuous straight path from past to future. Levitate above the time line by a few inches, thats right, well done. Looking through your own eyes (associated), I want you to travel into your past, then turn around and go out into your future. If you have trouble turning around, then just allow the whole line to turn underneath you.
At any point you can ask your unconscious....... mind to take you to 'now'. You realise that you do have an unconscious mind don't you ?? Well it will take you to any place on your timeline that you ask. It can do this instantly, you just need to let go and fly.
Once you have the hang of this, then start elevating higher above the timeline. You might feel this line instead of visualising it, or any other way, but whatever that is the right way for you.
Looking down on the line you might notice that it is organised into blocks or divisions for easy reference. These are like the files in a filing cabinet or folders on a computer. You will find that they represent cells of time from your past and future. However they appear thats fine and is perfect for you.
Go high above your line until it looks, or feels about 25mm (1 inch long). Ask your....... unconscious.... mind to take you back to 'now' and come back into the room. Open your eyes and come back to now.
You can pimp your line if you like. Some people like a plain line like a railway track, others have bright lights and ribbons. Whichever is perfectly fine. It's your line, decorate it as you want. You can visit it any time of the day or night, whenever you need to, asleep or awake.
Now comes the special bit:
Contained within your timeline are all the events of your past and all the events for your future. Your memory organises everything perfectly. We all have perfect memory, it's just accessing it that can prove difficult. But in TLT we only have to ask our unconscious minds to take us to an event, the first event that contains the first time we experienced a negative emotion. It is not necessary to know exactly what that event was, only to allow the SC mind to take you there.
So now we can fly the timeline.
WARNING: If you do have any serious trauma in the past then you should STOP right now. I do not have the time to outline the techniques for trauma. Associating into an event and reliving a trauma can be unpleasant. !!
So we need first to ask our UC minds if we are happy to let go of negative emotions......we will start with Anger. Ask your unconscious mind if it is agrees to let go of the negative emotion of Anger and if it is OK to do that today.
You will know when you go inside and ask. If your UC does not want to let go then we have to try another way. However I have to assume your....... unconscious.......mind is OK to do this.
Now you need to ask, and this is very precise.
What is the very first event, the letting go of which will release the emotion of Anger?
If you did know would it be before, during or after you were born?
Take the first thing that comes up, no matter how daft.
If it was after, then how many years ? (it should be less than 3 as our first negative emotions happened well before becoming toddlers).
If it was during, then how many months? (sometimes it can happen at the actual birth).
If it was before, was it in a past life, or genetically. Ask how many generations ago ? (this can be suprising!!).
Now,close your eyes, relax and hover above your timeline once again. Ask you un.....conscious mind to take you back to that very first event (just ask it to do this and it will go along).
and when you are there, looking through your own eyes........I want you to drop down into the event and feel what you felt, hear what you heard etc that were present at that time...
Once you have those experiences I want you to come back above your timeline, and well before the event or any even that lead to that event.
WARNING: often you want to stay in the event. This is like the scenery that Yogani talks of. You can find that it becomes very intense. If you feel the intensitt is getting too strong it's very easy to release it by flying higher above your timeline
Ask yourself what you have learned from the event, the learning of which will allow you to let go of the emotion of anger. When you have the learnings, they should be positive. They should be around positive thought and action.
Allow yourself to come back to 'now' (just ask your unconscious mind to take you all the way back), but only as quickly as it takes to release all the emotions of anger around all the events.
Come back to now, come back into the room and open your eyes.
Imagine an event in your past, an event that would have caused that emotion of anger........has it gone  ......yes, it has gone. now go to a future event, an event which would have made you feel those old emotions of anger......you may find they have also vanished.
If you still feel those old emotions then you have not gone back to the very first event. You will need to go back thrrough the script and ask your unconscious mind to take you that earlier event.
This can be tiring, anger is a very strong emotion that has a lot of energy tied up in it, most clients are pretty drained after this.
If you are alright with this..........and remember this is usually done by the therapist so I'm going to trust the more experienced meditators to find their way with this........then we can go and release the other negative emotions.
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 08:32:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lacinato
My question is about what to do with emotion that comes up. I try to not analyze it, just to feel it and release it. But this gets exhausting, as more comes up in its place, and it's hard to "deal" with it--what does "dealing" really entail, anyway? Yogani says it releases on its own (thus, psychoanalysis is not needed), but I suspect I am holding onto these obstructions in some way. So I get the emotion to come up--and then, am not sure. Either I feel stuck in the emotion, or more is coming up to replace it (I am familiar with self-inquiry methods, and even they are rather exhausting after awhile IMO).
Generally what ends up happening is that I tire of feeling such strong, sometimes unpleasant emotions, and consciously make a point of eating them down. Aside from being difficult for digestion, it's an expensive method since I buy high quality, organic food. I need to find a way to let things go nicely! I can see why so many people wind down with a drink every night ;)
Have you tried self inquiry?
Feeling an emotion arise and letting it go is a great tool. But letting it go happens when you have done some "self Inquiry" into it. Once you see how silly the mind stories are, they wont stick.. then it's just a matter of watching them arise, smiling at their attempts to pull you into them but not sticking.
You can keep going the way you are and as long as you are meditating you will reach the same place.. but like you said, it can get exhausting. Eating is just a distraction like you have already figured out. Not a great habit to get into, 'cause it's a tough one to break out of. Do some inquiry into what arises and see if that helps.
I would recommend you read "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. When something arises, ask the 4 questions (as Byron Katie explains in the book) and turn them around... hence seeing through the story. You need to see how false the story, being attached by the mind, is.. then it has no more hold on you.
Wish you the best. |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 1:55:28 PM
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Thank you for all the ideas. I do do self-inquiry, but these emotions have nothing to do with a particular thought or story. I'm just sitting in a class, or talking to someone, or grocery shopping, and these emotions come up--since I'm undergoing purification all the time from my AYP routine, I guess.
I tell myself it's fine, but they continue and continue, and it's very uncomfortable. I am self-pacing, I only only 20 mins once a day of deep meditation. That is it. I could tell myself I don't hate it, and I was doing that--but in truth, I don't like it. It seems like these feelings should be able to leave me without me feeling so drained from it all. |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 1:58:09 PM
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| I should add--I suspect that many of these feelings are not from this life and I am not really interested in the details. I just want to let go--which in itself maybe keeps me from letting go. I think I am missing something, though. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 07:57:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lacinato
Thank you for all the ideas. I do do self-inquiry, but these emotions have nothing to do with a particular thought or story. I'm just sitting in a class, or talking to someone, or grocery shopping, and these emotions come up--since I'm undergoing purification all the time from my AYP routine, I guess.
I tell myself it's fine, but they continue and continue, and it's very uncomfortable. I am self-pacing, I only only 20 mins once a day of deep meditation. That is it. I could tell myself I don't hate it, and I was doing that--but in truth, I don't like it. It seems like these feelings should be able to leave me without me feeling so drained from it all.
The unconscious mind brings up your negative emotions when it feels you are ready to deal with them. usually this happens at inappropriate times like attending an interview or doing an exam.
It opens the black bag of supressed emotions and presents them to you for resolution. Most times you simply close the bag and push it back where it came from, generally because you do not seem to have the necessary resources to work on them.
Try the TLT script I outlined, it seems to better prepare the mind for meditation in the same way as cross-training prepares an athlete for their own particular specialism. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 08:17:19 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lacinato
I should add--I suspect that many of these feelings are not from this life and I am not really interested in the details. I just want to let go--which in itself maybe keeps me from letting go. I think I am missing something, though.
You have not yet, learned to cope with these emotions.
Ask yourself if you really want rid of them.....suprisingly, during training I was asked to let go of anger. Being into the swing of it and wanting to push ahead with the training I naturally started to say 'yes' then suddenly found my lips saying 'No'. At which point I did a double take of myself (what are you doing Karl, stop slowing things down as your causing everyone to have to spend more time on this). I wanted to hold onto anger because I believed it was the emotion that fuelled my life progress.
Sometimes you hold onto things and you need to discover why? If you know what it is then try and chunk up to a higher level. Ask 'for what purpose....?" or "whats the highest intention of that ?" Force yourself to get the answer and take the first thing that comes up, write it down and then ask the same question of that thought or word. Sometimes you will find you repeat or your mind wants to just say something like " I dont know" or " I have gone blank" and add "and if you did know what would it be?"
After lots of chunking you will reach a point that is as high an intention as you can understand, an intention beyond words......usually it is in direct violation of the reason you are holding onto the emotions. Understanding this creates a conclusion to the open end that has been presented.
This is very difficult to explain and far easier to do for a client.
Feeling an releasing do not add up to letting go. you have to ask yourself what you have learned from the feelings, the learning of which will easily allow the letting go of the negative emotions all the way from the past and into the future. You can preserve these learnings for use at any time. You can also leave the event in place because the negative emotions surrounding it will be removed and it's important for people to remeber sequences and events as true experiences that can be learned from.
The past is not real. Whatever you think has caused this or that to happen, the past simply exists inside your own mind and you choose to act a certain way. Like you choose not to let go. That is a choice made by prior conditioning, it's not real, it's not even sensible. It's like "last time I let go of something my rattle fell out of the pram", therefore in future I will not be letting go of anything because I loved my rattle.
It's really as simple as that
(and I have had many rattles /lollies/comforters/nappies that have caused someone later in life to choose some totally inappropriate action like punching someone or wrecking a car). |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 10:40:37 AM
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Thanks, karl. My conscious mind has a pretty tough hold on things, so I'm sure there are deeper things I need to look into; I'm going to print this out right now so I can start to use it.
I also had an abdominal massage yesterday, and she moved some lymph--my left leg felt more cleared and the meditation I had today felt much more clear. It doesn't take care of everything, but it was beneficial. |
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 2:41:55 PM
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Maharishi used to give us the following advice for dealing with the strong emotions which might come from the release of stress from the nervous system as we meditated and purification took place. He said that consciously analyzing the emotions was like analyzing the dust and dirt which would fly about a room as we were cleaning it. It would be sufficient to know that the dirt was on its way out, and not necessary to look in detail at the dirt to try to determine what it came from. Just be easy with the process and know that the result is all good.
Michael |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 8:50:59 PM
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Karl wrote:
quote:
In NLP we call that changing submodalities.
Your also mixing it with a technique referred to as clean language :
No, it has nothing to do with NLP, I learned this before NLP was developed!
It is just an easy method of being fully in the moment, which is all that is needed for emotions. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2009 : 04:17:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Karl wrote:
quote:
In NLP we call that changing submodalities.
Your also mixing it with a technique referred to as clean language :
No, it has nothing to do with NLP, I learned this before NLP was developed!
It is just an easy method of being fully in the moment, which is all that is needed for emotions.
NLP is simply a collection of techniques not a philosophy. It is purely based around what works and is based around what successful people do. When I say success I mean this in the broadest terms, not in the narrow sense involving the trappings of wealth/fame.
So, when I refer to it as submodalities, it should be seen from the perspective of a title placed on one of the techniques. It is no more or less important than the term living in the now. Often techniques are combined and strengthened using other useful tools. Sub modalities is refined down to it's constituent parts to make it easier for others to learn and to make it easier other learning techniques are crafted into the mix.
I often use the technique to help control pain and prevent cravings. When combined with other techniques it can be used to clear out memories, give confidence, overcome barriers and form better communications.
Apologies if my communication was poor in the first instance 'The meaning of communication is the result that you get'as we say in NLP circles.
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2009 : 10:35:52 PM
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There are many options. Some being more easy, some not.
If there is enough inner silence, the easy method is just doing nothing, watching it come and go. Like watching a horror movie, there are scenes you would rather look away. You can try to focus on something else, but somehow this doesn't work for the long term, as scenes like that will come to you again and again. Better just watch it like " lets see how I will react to this kind of feeling, oh interesting, my body reacts like that, my thoughts like that, what a funny show.." surely, you can't do this, it happens naturally if inner silence grows. Then the movie passes and you enjoy watching it.
If it's not the case, so identification is high, the following worked and still works for me. Hug and caress whatever is coming. It's especially handy for all those astral monsters at night. Even if they would never want to accept it, they very like being caressed and tickled ;) It's okay, they are allowed to be near you, somehow these monsters/negative feelings/whatever very much like being loved within your presence. So just be with them. This is the not fighting method.
Third method would be the big understanding, that everything is the very same energy in different frequencies and structures that in realtion to your body build give a different feeling. So everything is convertible into everything. You can transform grossly unpleasant feelings into lighter joyful feelings through hard physical work, jogging/running, pranayama that goes deep into the belly, care in diet, sex with tantric methods etc. This is a worrior method, those with willpower will find it easier this way. Open hearted ones will find it easy to just hug the feeling, no matter if it is hell itself or miss paradise. When inner silence grows, neither fighting, nor not fighting needs to be done. It's somewhat wayne, comes and goes anyway. |
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HOW to let go of emotion--or stop the flow
