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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 11 2008 : 5:50:28 PM
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The retreat in Ireland this summer (see http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=3805 )
was pivotal in more ways than one for me.
The most profound (in adition to the joy of finally meeting my friends) was the fact that it became very clear to me....through many levels of communication.....that I have been blind  (Again )
Ego is very subtle when it comes to actually accepting the gift of being awake. I realized that I have - for some time now - cloaked myself in a kind of self-restraining habit of spending energy on not being too visibly awake. As if hiding the gift of my heart....as if this forced humbleness was beneficial in some way.
Well - it is not. On the contrary....I find it is destructive. It dims the light. In hiding the shine.....I have actually made myself different. This is the hallmark of ego.
Everybody at the retreat contributed to this understanding - all in their own way. But only one was upfront......asking me "don't you see your own talent?" Meaning...."don't you see the gift you carry?"
I will always be gratefull for that remark. It took several days to process......the workings of this inner twist.
But now it is dissolved. And I am lighter than air.
So.... enough of this hiding!
I bought a Tibetan singing boal in Dublin - I am starting up a meditation group at home instantly. I will also receive whom ever will knock at my door.....whether it be for words or touch or silence.
Right before leaving for Ireland I got a very tempting job offer at work. It would have ment a hundred thousand more in salary.....finances are very tight so it would have been welcome. But it would also have ment a lot of stress and mental activity in a field that is not enhancing to the presence. It took a few days to see clearly. It could look like a place to learn something. But it suddenly dawned on me that this learning was not new. It also dawned on me that this was the result of a desire that I had hosted. I had wanted more money over truth. I had been around this circle many times before. None of them brought me home. On the contrary.....more knowledge, yes. But not more wisdom. So....before leaving for Ireland I declined the job. And my heart went into instant flight mode.
Then came Ireland....and everything just flew open.
So. By being done with that immature desire.....I am ready to love fully. To be the instrument that I am.
Thanks Louis, Emc and my other Irish friends for making this so clear. You have no idea of the immensity of the weight that is now off my shoulders.
I am very grateful.
And almost continuously smiling
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Edited by - Katrine on Aug 12 2008 03:48:32 AM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2008 : 08:55:13 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
The most profound (in adition to the joy of finally meeting my friends) was the fact that it became very clear to me....through many levels of communication.....that I have been blind (Again )
Ego is very subtle when it comes to actually accepting the gift of being awake. I realized that I have - for some time now - cloaked myself in a kind of self-restraining habit of spending energy on not being too visibly awake. As if hiding the gift of my heart....as if this forced humbleness was beneficial in some way.
Well - it is not. On the contrary....I find it is destructive. It dims the light. In hiding the shine.....I have actually made myself different. This is the hallmark of ego.
Well thank God for that!
Amma often says that the hardest people to help are those who are awake, but are pretending to be asleep.
No more pretending.
Christi |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2008 : 12:40:00 PM
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Hi Katrine
Great to hear you got so much from the retreat. It was very pivotal for me also.
Your skills were actually a surprise to me Katrine. I knew you from the forum here but did not realise you would be so "on the ball" with all aspects of people's journey's. To be honest I was thinking you might take the Advaita approach and wondered if this would suit our group here but it was'nt like that at all.
The way you were able to see straight to the core of a situation and then gently facilitate the person to having a clearer picture of what was going on was superb.
With all those skills and the profound silence you bring with you I'm sure you will have people knocking down your door.
It was a real joy to see you work and I wish you the best with your new found weightlessness
Louis
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2008 : 2:03:12 PM
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quote:
Well thank God for that!
I just burst out laughing, Christi - thank you for that!
Yes.....I can be incredibly dense 
But like you say - or rather in the Irish phonetic version (correct me if the spelling is wrong, Louis):
Enough of that, now d'odder (now the other )
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2008 : 2:50:16 PM
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quote:
The way you were able to see straight to the core of a situation and then gently facilitate the person to having a clearer picture of what was going on was superb.
Thank you for that observation, Louis
You know...it is so funny.....because I realized that the 13 years as a therapeut spent on looking at people through their stories was all a magnificent way of preparing for this. In addition there is what noone can ever take away - my own direct experiences through the years......I am so glad that i can speak from my own experience....it makes such a difference. In this respect it is not so strange that I had to wait before "going more public". There were issues I needed to work through....the divorce.....the deaths of family members....past grief etc. So - although i do feel kind of "overly ripe" now .......I am glad that I didn't force anything.
Besides......the thrill of free falling......mmmmm
I simply love working with people this way. Together with the hands .......all provided and held by the silence.....this is how I will serve.
In addition I will play the flute a lot more than I have in recent years. To be able to express my heart through sound is just so beautiful. I would like to play in chapels and churches, and whenever speaking in public I will do so starting with connecting through first a few minutes of silence and then the flute or the voice. I would also like to give private lessons. I had many private flute and piano students (all ages) from the age of 15 until about 33 - it is something I have missed. Much can be transmitted through dynamic sound.
And then....there is the writing.....and poetry......and the running into people whom I connect with and often end up speaking to anywhere I walk.
What Joy !
quote:
It was a real joy to see you work and I wish you the best with your new found weightlessness
Thank you
I can't thank you enough for facilitating everything, Louis.
Who knows.....I may grow wings now
**************laughing my way out of here for now***************
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2008 : 4:32:13 PM
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A kind soul just informed me that it is actually "enough of that, do you fancy a bit of t'other"
Or even more explicitly:
"do you fancy a ride"
What can I say....
other than
YES PLEASE
*****************still laughing************** |
Edited by - Katrine on Aug 13 2008 4:33:09 PM |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2008 : 1:46:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
A kind soul just informed me that it is actually "enough of that, do you fancy a bit of t'other"
Or even more explicitly:
"do you fancy a ride"
What can I say....
other than
YES PLEASE
*****************still laughing**************
damn, if only I'd known on the retreat hahaha!!!! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2008 : 5:57:58 PM
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| Hi Katrine, what do you do with your hands ? |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2008 : 10:02:08 AM
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Originally posted by Katrine
quote:
A kind soul just informed me that it is actually "enough of that, do you fancy a bit of t'other"
Or even more explicitly:
"do you fancy a ride"
What can I say....
other than
YES PLEASE
*****************still laughing**************
Louis wrote:
quote:
damn, if only I'd known on the retreat hahaha!!!!
*laughing*.....with your calm presence......be careful what you wish for, Louis
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2008 : 10:47:20 AM
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Hi Christi
quote:
Hi Katrine, what do you do with your hands ?
The first time the energy awoke (some 11 years ago) it activated the hands.......I called it "the tingle".....but it was more like a kind of cold-hot currency emanating from them. The hands were very active (meaning they responded to Joy and Love) up until the energy started rising in the Shushumna (about 4 years ago). Then the "whole-body" clensing took focus off the hands......and after closing the clinic I used to run...the hands stopped turning themselves on spontaniously (the spine did instead). I could still focus the energy into the hands, though........but it felt different in a way.....as if it were "watered out".
In Ireland - during the healings (actually the hands started the day before starting the treatments) - it was as if they were reactivated; only much, much stronger than before. And now the spontaneity in them is back. They immediately turn themselves on whenever I feel the heart pull. The rest of the body is "on" pretty much all the time......but it seems there is no end to the increase in the power. It continues to get stronger......and I guess it always will?
So - what do I do with my hands.....
I start and close the session by holding peoples feet for a few minutes (don't ask me why - I don't know...it just feels right). Other than that, I never actually touch people.
First of all I let myself receive the flow......I hold the hands very still about 20 cm above the body.......and then I stop the doing all together. Come to think of it......it is exactly like giving a consultation through speach. I start by bonding......I LISTEN. I become very still inside. The hands (just like the words) seem to know by themselves where to go.......they often move in flat circles.......staying put where the energy is strong....sometimes they pull up.....sometimes I move to the end of the room (it still works).....sometimes they stay above a chakra. I don't know how to explain it, Christi......they seem to play with the energy. When they get "bored" of a location - they move on. I have learned to watch for signs.....fluttering of eyelids.....eyeballs going back and forth.......involuntary movements of the stomach.....twitching of muscles...or larger contractions......difference in breath. These signs tell me that the work is being done in the right place. Most often, the work is done in other locations than where peoples problems are physically located.
In Ireland I started seeing colours.......also it is as if I am not alone......the presence.......becomes thick with added frequences. I don't know what this is........but I open my heart to it......and if respected and allowed....I am sure I will be taught more eventually.
I never set a time for when the session is over. I just follow the decline of the energy. When done......it is still. Sometimes it is after 10 min - other times it can take 30 min. Usually I'd say it is about 20 min.
I had an experience on the flight home from Ireland which involved healing completely out of the body......Before it happened, I grew so thick with love I could hardly fit myself into the plane. .....I almost fainted. It was a new experience altogether......and it offered a perspective on the potential this gift holds. My God........ it is an immense feeling of wanting to just.......fall down ....head on ground.....and stay like that for the rest of my life......
Thanks for asking me this, Christi
It is actually the first time I have tried to verbalize it.
What do you do when you treat people?
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2008 : 3:07:42 PM
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Just wanted to add one thing to the bove:
When the session is done - and after I have held their feet for a few minutes - I always tell them to lie still for as long as they want. And I always leave the room, then. I find it is important to leave them with this space......often insights and further release happen when they are left in peace.
I never, ever feel drained or unhappy or burdened after a session. On the contrary. There is love....and my heart is very light and there is so much gratefulness for being able to receive
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2008 : 5:45:06 PM
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Hi emc
Great to hear of your experience with the lady at the concert How beautiful!
quote:
Very interesting to read about your experiences when it happens, Katrine. It sounds exactly like what happens when my "beaming" happens with my hands.
What happens through the hands is a very, very gentle....something. "Beaming" seems too strong a discription for me. But considering the colour and light I saw when you did the Form on me in Ireland - I can certainly vouch for the light you emanate ......beaming indeed!
Whatever it is that takes place with the hands it is activated if called for by the situation - often trigered by love or joy. I guess I am lucky in that I never experienced it as "intrusive".......at least I never got that feedback from anyone. I never seemed to "expose" others to it....who were not open to receive.
I will never intelectually grasp how something that becomes more and more gentle at the same time gets stronger and stronger ......but this is paradoxically how it feels.
quote:
It's a bit more more 'spontaneous', though, for me WHEN it occurs , which is... whenever "it" seems to find it appropriate, not on agreed sessions... I never know when that is or who it is that is subjected to it!
Yes, this is how it was for me too. But I never had any problems with control. It never seemed to bother anybody. There is always need of adjustment. For me, adjusting turned out to be.....surrendering fully to it......in all aereas of life.....not only the "hand related situations". This takes time. (At least with stubborn Vikings like myself) That is the main reason I had to close the clinic. I was not ready to be subservient to "it" full time. It is as if all personal agendas have to be nullified in order for it to flow freely. I will always be in the middle of that process of surrendering. There will always be room for more.
Thanks for sharing, emc.
I hope there are plenty of people who will be thrilled to be "beamed" by you
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2008 : 01:46:05 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
So - what do I do with my hands.....
I start and close the session by holding peoples feet for a few minutes (don't ask me why - I don't know...it just feels right). Other than that, I never actually touch people.
First of all I let myself receive the flow......I hold the hands very still about 20 cm above the body.......and then I stop the doing all together. Come to think of it......it is exactly like giving a consultation through speach. I start by bonding......I LISTEN. I become very still inside. The hands (just like the words) seem to know by themselves where to go.......they often move in flat circles.......staying put where the energy is strong....sometimes they pull up.....sometimes I move to the end of the room (it still works).....sometimes they stay above a chakra. I don't know how to explain it, Christi......they seem to play with the energy. When they get "bored" of a location - they move on. I have learned to watch for signs.....fluttering of eyelids.....eyeballs going back and forth.......involuntary movements of the stomach.....twitching of muscles...or larger contractions......difference in breath. These signs tell me that the work is being done in the right place. Most often, the work is done in other locations than where peoples problems are physically located.
That’s amazing! That is exactly what I do. I have been healing this way for a few years now, and it is wonderful to hear that you do the same thing. I also touch the feet during healing... I do this to open the channels in the legs to help the recipient establish a connection with the earth and stay grounded. Then, just as you do, I move my hands intuitively over the rest of the body without touching it.
The only places I feel I have to be careful are with the third eye and the crown. If I hold my hand over the third eye for too long people can feel pain there, as if someone is drilling into their head, and this can result in a headache. With the crown, I have to be careful not to over-activate someone, which could lead to instability in their whole system over the long-term. This is how I have been healing for about 4 years now and people feel incredible results from it.
To tell you the truth, I have stopped giving healing in this way now. I felt a sense of frustration at the time it took to activate someone’s energetic body in this way. Like you, I spend about 20 minutes working on one person.
During my travels in India I have met people who could do what I can do, and much more, in the space of about 10 seconds rather than 20 minutes. One man could do it just by gazing into my eyes for a few moments, and one lady could achieve the same results just by whispering 10 words into my ear. Recently I have felt that I would like to take my healing work on to this level and I feel I have an idea how it is done.
I feel that if I can go very deeply into stillness for a long time, then I can resonate from a place that is so close to the source that it has a much more immediate effect on others around me. Then, hopefully, I won’t need to use my hands any more to help people, but will be able to work directly on others, using a resonance emanating from my core and coming out , possibly through my eyes or through my heart. This process has already started in a small way.
That’s my hope for now.
Christi
p.s. I assume you have read "Hands of Light" by Barberra Brennon. If you haven't, then you should.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2008 : 4:18:10 PM
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Hi Christi
quote:
I also touch the feet during healing... I do this to open the channels in the legs to help the recipient establish a connection with the earth and stay grounded.
So that's why it feels so right...... thanks for telling me
quote:
The only places I feel I have to be careful are with the third eye and the crown.
That's amazing.....it is exactly the same with me.......I never stay put there more than a few seconds. I feel as if I might intrude if I stay longer......noone reported this....but then again....I always move away from there while it still feels right. I wonder......it might have a connection to the fact that there is purification in these chakras going on in my body. Yes......this issue might be different later on....when the activity in these chakras are more subtle......what do you think? I often feel that the top of my head is off, and there is always streaming in the Ajna...always.....work being done there.
quote:
To tell you the truth, I have stopped giving healing in this way now.
I am smiling and smiling.....because a few days ago......I realised that the energy is pouring out of every pore......and when I let people look into my eyes.....I receive them. And in the receiving....I read them. It is a silent reading....there is instant understanding. Sometimes it is ....moulded into words......other times....the simple fact of just being here is enough. Something is silently transmitted both ways.
quote:
I feel that if I can go very deeply into stillness for a long time, then I can resonate from a place that is so close to the source that it has a much more immediate effect on others around me
Yes.....
Christi......when I am as such still....... a "long time" has nothing to do with it. It is not the duration......it is the depth. You already know this. It is the instant that is crucial...and the instant is not run by me. Just release your intention.....the rest is taken care of.
And you are already present ....you are already operating from heart. Things will come about in your life now that will lovingly speed up this process. You know....in this matter.....I don't think it is the amount of practise that matters. We both practise consistantly and have done so for a long time....and will continue to do so. But the speeding up.....will come from being active in our lives in such a way that the toucing of heart will increase. It is through the non-doing activity with other people that your healing abilities will be enhanced.
Yesterday evening.....I had the first meditation group in my apartment. I had the greatest time. First I explained the principles to them in a very simple way. Then I told them how to follow their breath (not Pranayama....that will come at a later time) for a couple of minutes and then we meditated for 10 min. Afterwards I answered their questions regarding the experience......and then.....the most extraordinary thing happened (after all, these are people who have never meditated before).....They started to talk to me about their innermost issues......one after the other. I felt myself listen to this sacredness...this trust from them......and then I started responding.......the whole time the grapes on the table shone of themselves......and there was such a joy in the room. At a certain point the talk started to become mindy.....so I broke it of by asking them if they wanted to end the session with another meditation. They did and we meditated for 15 minutes. And rested. This second meditation was a lot more profound for them.
Then we ate the grapes and had som more water
Then my eldest daughter came home, and they gradually left the apartment......
Afterwards......I was so full of joy......
Because it is so evident that I am at home in this kind of non-work. I am here to commune with people in sessions like these. Face to face...or many in a group.....it doesn't matter. Playing music is the same. Singing is the same. It is all the same thing.
Something happened - something beautiful is unfolding in my life recently that has contributed greatly to whatever increased release there is into silence. The person Katrine is pulled out from hiding.......and it is through the person that the greater release is happening. Not outside of it. I find this is the only way the embodyment can happen.....and I am so grateful for this gift I am receiving. This is how the shine becomes personal. Because of this.....there is grace all over the place.....and the consequences are beyond what I can fathom.....both indivudually and globally. It is something immense...that somehow fits itself into something appearantly small.........so:
quote:
This process has already started in a small way.
It is not small, Christi ......*laughing*.....
I wish you all the best with all that you don't do
May you let yourself expand infinitely.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2008 : 4:37:19 PM
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quote:
p.s. I assume you have read "Hands of Light" by Barberra Brennon. If you haven't, then you should.
It is so funny.....because "Hands of light" and "Light emerging".....about 11 years ago I walked past them at an alternative conference in Oslo. And they pulled me back....the "thud" in my heart left me no choice......so I just bought them, even though I thought I couldn't afford them. This was about a year after the cancer......before my hands started working......I was facinated by the books.....but didn't understand much of it. I read them through and never thought about them until the retreat this summer. When I came back I dug them out from a box in the attic and I read parts of them again. I understand all of it now....but the funny thing is.....that there is too much "doing" in them now.
I just can't function through a method. I must be able to release constantly.....
Does this make sense? |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2008 : 03:22:02 AM
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Christi and Katrine
Beautiful to hear about your healing experiences
Katrine your remark: I am smiling and smiling.....because a few days ago......I realised that the energy is pouring out of every pore......and when I let people look into my eyes.....I receive them. And in the receiving....I read them. It is a silent reading....there is instant understanding. Sometimes it is ....moulded into words......other times....the simple fact of just being here is enough. Something is silently transmitted both ways.Not sure if you were given feedback about this on the retreat?
Sylvi spoke about this often after the retreat. How she felt she got a blessing ever time she made eye contact with you. You know how sensitive and open she is, and she recognised and felt this instantly. |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2008 : 04:09:47 AM
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Hi Louis
quote:
Sylvi spoke about this often after the retreat. How she felt she got a blessing ever time she made eye contact with you.
She is so sweet, that woman......
quote:
Not sure if you were given feedback about this on the retreat?
No. Thanks for telling me, Louis ......it makes my heart sing
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2008 : 07:06:41 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
That's amazing.....it is exactly the same with me.......I never stay put there more than a few seconds. I feel as if I might intrude if I stay longer......noone reported this....but then again....I always move away from there while it still feels right. I wonder......it might have a connection to the fact that there is purification in these chakras going on in my body. Yes......this issue might be different later on....when the activity in these chakras are more subtle......what do you think?
Personally I think you will have to be even more careful as time goes on. More purification in your system will lead to stronger resonance in other people’s systems. I believe that as your crown and ajna develop further you will have to be careful not only with your hands, but you could put others in danger simply by being too close to them for too long. I had this problem with a lady I worked next to this summer. We worked side by side every day for a month, about 9 feet apart. After about a month she began to become unstable. She talked about pressure in her head and said she felt like she was expanding upwards from the top of her head and that she did not feel like she was at work. She started taking time off work to recover. I am not working near her any more.
quote:
Yes.....
Christi......when I am as such still....... a "long time" has nothing to do with it. It is not the duration......it is the depth. You already know this. It is the instant that is crucial...and the instant is not run by me. Just release your intention.....the rest is taken care of.
I do know this, yes. But time is important. When I say a long time I am talking about weeks and months (or maybe even years). I need time for my system to stabilize as the transformation takes place in the body.
quote:
The person Katrine is pulled out from hiding.......and it is through the person that the greater release is happening. Not outside of it. I find this is the only way the embodyment can happen.....and I am so grateful for this gift I am receiving. This is how the shine becomes personal.
I once heard that there must be no centre. No self around which to organize a new plan. The old self must die for the new to be born. Otherwise there will always be a response from the centre, which is the ego, with the corresponding excuses and justifications. Then there will never be that which is new and always beautiful.
I often catch myself forming plans, and I can see that it is part of the process of the mind. I wonder if it is possible to live in this way, without plans? With no idea who we will be, or what we will do? Or even with the knowing that there is no one we can be, and nothing we can do?
Christi
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Edited by - Christi on Sep 07 2008 07:13:06 AM |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2008 : 5:33:50 PM
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Hi Christi
quote:
Personally I think you will have to be even more careful as time goes on. More purification in your system will lead to stronger resonance in other people’s systems. I believe that as your crown and ajna develop further you will have to be careful not only with your hands, but you could put others in danger simply by being too close to them for too long
Hmm.....I have to take your word for it, Christi. I may be naive concerning this.....I lack your experience, you see. But my trust in Love is immense.......and so far......it seems to be self regulating. If I stay receptive.....quiet......then somehow I don't "come towards" people uninvited.....I won't say I "turn it off" (I only know how to be quiet)......but it is as if the entrainment doesn't happen if people are not ready. I really don't understand this yet.....all I can do is stay alert.....the unfolding itself will bring the understanding.....and I'll report back concerning this. Thank you for advising me....that's great . Say more.....
quote:
I need time for my system to stabilize as the transformation takes place in the body.
Yes......but who are we to know when the ripeness is here....
It always comes in season, yes.......but I never knew that spring was so close....neither did I know that it was far away.
quote:
I once heard that there must be no centre. No self around which to organize a new plan. The old self must die for the new to be born.
Hmm......yes.....I heard this too.....repeatedly, in fact. But I drink the flowers in front of me (I got them today from visiting a family where the husband is dying of cancer....I refused to take money for my visit....instead they gave me this bouquet of pink, white and green flowers.....that I can now commune with for a week ).....so......
these flowers sprouted from seeds. They all did. Now...is the seed dead? On the contrary....it is transformed into its potential....that's all. That is the full wonder. What was inside the seed is now blossoming. Can you say that the flower is without A center? Definitely. Yet every inch of it is the same space. The seed is loved into opening.....it is not killed or avoided or debunked....
I love circles. Space. Whenever I see one.....I am a child and step into it. Not as an obsession.....I just play with it.....it is fun....it is like drowning in myself. It is an attraction to drop into the whole. To be embraced.
Yet - is the ego the center of the circle? No....but the circle is definitely the source of the ego....if you trace it all the way back. Hence the attraction. So...through what we seemingly, limitingly are.....embracing what we seemingly, limitingly are......loving.....dissolves limits......we become see-through......to ourselves. And it makes all the difference.
I mean - how can I truly feel love, if I don't express it?
quote:
I often catch myself forming plans, and I can see that it is part of the process of the mind. I wonder if it is possible to live in this way, without plans?
Yes....
Making plans can be beneficial. It can clear space, even. It is the plans that are woven from the mind alone that constitute non-freedom. See.....I never found what you say here:
No self around which to organize a new plan.
I never found that there was anything else than the plans. Not around anything......it was always empty.....And *laughing*.....when I take your sentence out of context.....it agrees *lol*
quote:
With no idea who we will be, or what we will do? Or even with the knowing that there is no one we can be, and nothing we can do?
Well....all I know is that I will serve. I have felt this for a while now. Yet.....until the retreat in Ireland this summer....I didn't grasp the fact that it is I that am here. I was waiting for something that had already happened....and now that the serving is happening on a larger and larger scale.....I know less and less and yet I am more active than ever. Not doing nything, really. I knew nothing of the visit today, for example. I made no plans.....I didn't know these people.....and yet it doesn't matter.....we are all in the same boat.....they are the left hand of my body.....how can I not help when asked?
I am not concerned at all anymore about who I am or am not......as long as I can express the love.......I am fulfilled.....and yet I cry...
To be vulnerable like this....stings....(why do we not have a cry face among the smilies?... )
and yet.....I am blissfull....
such a paradox.....
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2008 : 11:42:47 AM
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Hi Katrine,
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Hmm.....I have to take your word for it, Christi. I may be naive concerning this.....I lack your experience, you see. But my trust in Love is immense.......and so far......it seems to be self regulating. If I stay receptive.....quiet......then somehow I don't "come towards" people uninvited.....I won't say I "turn it off" (I only know how to be quiet)......but it is as if the entrainment doesn't happen if people are not ready. I really don't understand this yet.....all I can do is stay alert.....the unfolding itself will bring the understanding.....and I'll report back concerning this. Thank you for advising me....that's great . Say more.....
I don't "go towards people" I stay where I am, they come towards me. 
There is a very interesting book called “Daughter of fire” written by a Western lady (German I believe) who went to study with a Sufi master somewhere in North India. He gave her very little instruction but told her to come and sit near him every day. He was basically using ecstatic radiance to awaken her chakra system and her kundalini and bring her to enlightenment. It is a beautiful book and interesting in the context of what we are discussing here because at first he asked her to sit close to him, and then as the months past, he asked her to sit further and further away. After some months , he asked her to come every day, but to sit outside his house with the door closed. She thought he was punnishing her for something she had done wrong! She writes at length about the kundalini awakening she experienced through sitting near him and how her chakras opened gradually. I believe that the Sufi master moved her further away from him in order to reduce the effect that his resonance was having upon her, so that she would not awaken too fast. I have also seen Amma (the hugging mother) carefully managing the time that people sit near to her, and I have seen her sending people away who sit too near to her for too long. Interestingly, Amma once told one of her disciples that if they want to understand what she is doing they should read “Daughter of fire”. She is a Yogi, and a Hindu, and she told someone to read a book about a Sufi (Muslim) in order to understand her! Amma never ceases to amaze me.
In my case, I advised the lady that I worked next to to move further from me. She could have done, but decided not too. Eventually I pressed her on the matter and she said that she wanted to stay near me. I think this is quite common in such cases, people are somehow drawn towards the resonance, even though they may be experiencing instability as a result of it.
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Hmm......yes.....I heard this too.....repeatedly, in fact. But I drink the flowers in front of me (I got them today from visiting a family where the husband is dying of cancer....I refused to take money for my visit....instead they gave me this bouquet of pink, white and green flowers.....that I can now commune with for a week ).....so......
these flowers sprouted from seeds. They all did. Now...is the seed dead? On the contrary....it is transformed into its potential....that's all. That is the full wonder. What was inside the seed is now blossoming. Can you say that the flower is without A center? Definitely. Yet every inch of it is the same space. The seed is loved into opening.....it is not killed or avoided or debunked....
I love circles. Space. Whenever I see one.....I am a child and step into it. Not as an obsession.....I just play with it.....it is fun....it is like drowning in myself. It is an attraction to drop into the whole. To be embraced.
Yet - is the ego the center of the circle? No....but the circle is definitely the source of the ego....if you trace it all the way back. Hence the attraction. So...through what we seemingly, limitingly are.....embracing what we seemingly, limitingly are......loving.....dissolves limits......we become see-through......to ourselves. And it makes all the difference.
As long as you realize that you are departing from the conventional yogic wisdom in this matter, I think that is enough. You will be able to see if you are on the right track or not over the long term through your interactions with others. If you find conflict with others arising often, you will know you are on the wrong track, and may have to re-examine your approach. Conflict is a pretty sure sign of ego manifesting itself, as conflict arises through fear based on contraction around an insecure centre (ego). If your interaction with others is coming entirely from love, conflict will not arise, as love comes from expansion, which includes others, not from contraction, which excludes others.
Experiencing grief in the future would be another measure of the success or failure of this approach, as grief is the pain of loss created by attachment to the egoic self.
You will have to be the judge in the long run, based on your own experiences, and the experiences of others who interact with you. But as I say, it is a departure from conventional wisdom, so it is dangerous ground.
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I mean - how can I truly feel love, if I don't express it?
You can truly feel love, whether or not it is expressed. Love is simply overflowing in every moment when there is no conflict in the mind. Love is a power, an energy or force of transformation. When it is flowing, it changes everything and everyone around us, even when we "do" nothing.
Christi
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2008 : 2:57:25 PM
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Hi Christi
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I don't "go towards people" I stay where I am, they come towards me.
*lol*.......
Yes. You are right. This is what happens......( many insidents at the bus for example.....where people (no - not only men....that's different.....I know how to handle that) strangely just sit down beside me and start talking about themselves.....I usually just let them....I don't say much....I am just not closed.)
I will pay closer attention to these daily interactions......at work for example......it happens all the time. I just never experienced any uncomfort in them being close to me. I will keep watching.....not in a biased way.....just in an open way. Thanks for alerting me, Christi.
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There is a very interesting book called “Daughter of fire” written by a Western lady (German I believe) who went to study with a Sufi master somewhere in North India.
When you mentioned this book.....my whole being responded in a surge. I must find it and read it. Thanks for that info.
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But as I say, it is a departure from conventional wisdom, so it is dangerous ground.
You mean the radiance......harming people......
I can tell I must read this book....."daughter of fire".....just a sec....let me see if Amazon has it.....
Yes....here it is: Daughter of Fire: A Diary of a Spiritual Training with a Sufi Master (Paperback)
by Irina Tweedie (Author)
I ordered it.
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Experiencing grief in the future would be another measure of the success or failure of this approach, as grief is the pain of loss created by attachment to the egoic self.
Yes.....
If my daughters died.....I would grieve them, Christi. Just like I grieved the loss of my mother and I grieved the broken marriage. But at the same time I rejoiced in the love emanating from the same heart that felt the sadness. I don't grieve mamma or my ex husband anymore.......it took this amount of time and purification to dissolve them in that. But I will still bond with the one that I love intimately......the one that resonates closely, closely to core....who thrives in own stillness. It is just that the bonding now is different....it doesn't create an inner neediness.......since I am so full of love as it is. Actually.....that is not quiet true.....because there is a need to bring joy. To smitten with joy. To rejoice in common joy. But I realize that it might very well create neediness in others.....I do experience this......there is definitely a balancing point here. It is such a joy to share this journey. And would I grieve such a friend if lost to me? You bet! Yet would that stop me from living a human life...risking the surfacing of ego?....No way. All of my "education" when it comes to wisdom happened through facing life - not avoiding it.
quote:
You can truly feel love, whether or not it is expressed. Love is simply overflowing in every moment when there is no conflict in the mind. Love is a power, an energy or force of transformation. When it is flowing, it changes everything and everyone around us, even when we "do" nothing.
Yes......let me refraze the question...
"How can I truly expand in love if I don't express it?"
It is not enough sitting at home flowing over......this has been so for a while........but the flow urges me to spread it.....and interacting with people in need is deepening the perception of the great compassionate power that love is.
And judging from the light in peoples eyes when we interact....and from the happenings afterwards.....all is well so far.
Thank you so much for your guidence, Christi. And for the book |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2008 : 11:16:15 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
quote:
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But as I say, it is a departure from conventional wisdom, so it is dangerous ground.
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You mean the radiance......harming people......
No, I wasn't referring to using radiance as a healing method when I was writing about departing from conventional yogic wisdom above. I believe that all yogis end up using radiance to help others, they don't have much choice. If it is pouring out of every cell of your being, out of your hands, out of your heart, out of your eyes, then how are you going to not use it?
And it is not just yogis who use it, but all spiritual teachers and guides. Jesus used it, that's how he healed people with his hands in the temple, and it is what was happening when he turned around in the crowd and asked who had touched his cloak.
When I wrote about departing from conventional yogic wisdom it was in response to these lines:
quote:
The person Katrine is pulled out from hiding.......and it is through the person that the greater release is happening. Not outside of it. I find this is the only way the embodyment can happen
The conventional wisdom is that the ego is burnt up like a moth entering a flame. One day you will be able to remember that you used to be called Katrine, that you used to have an age, a body and so on. And you will be able to function in the world knowing that others still believe that to be true.
That's the conventional wisdom, as I understand it. My remarks about conflict and grief were as guides, or ways of measuring any extent to which any departure in this respect is impacting your spiritual progress. "And you shall know them by their fruit" is the best measure of success on the spiritual path.
We are both lovers of truth, so I am sure you won't mind me going on about this. I just wanted to clarify that
I am in an internet cafe as I write this, and on the wall is a picture of an eye, with the words "the eyes are the windows to the soul" underneath.
p.s. Good luck with your new meditation group.
Christi
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2008 : 4:07:50 PM
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Hi Christi
quote:
We are both lovers of truth, so I am sure you won't mind me going on about this. I just wanted to clarify that
Please do go on and on about this! I enjoy it, Christi
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The conventional wisdom is that the ego is burnt up like a moth entering a flame. One day you will be able to remember that you used to be called Katrine, that you used to have an age, a body and so on. And you will be able to function in the world knowing that others still believe that to be true.
Yes...The shine is genderless, ageless and not limited to the body...
But I still am an intimate personal expression. The personal aspect is somehow allowed to be in here. And if it were not....then the embodiment could not happen. I don't think of myself as the person Katrine.....not even when I think do I think that. I experience myself as presence, clarity, love. But it is a personal experience. (Sorry....I don't know if i explain this rightly.....it is still a bit muddled....)I guess what I am saying is that the person is not the same as being personal (on the contrary). If the person is the image/ego.... the personal aspect is that which is unique spirit in all and everyone. And right here...in this lifetime....it is called Katrine.
Today I went to my 3rd Rosen therapy treatment. This woman....she reads the body....and her touch is exquisit. She is well aware of the level of awareness........but my body has inner energetic knots from the brutal cancer operation and also from the trauma of the divorce last year. Now that things are flowing freely...these knots are released....the body responds to the inner transformation. And the thing is...that the traumatized areas have held back the personal aspect of the presence. So....when I say embodiment happens through the person.....what I mean is it happens through the allowence of the intimacy of the personal aspect......and I guess this is the moth being consumed to a greater and greater extent but at the same time - even if the whole moth is consumed - contributing with a particular hue in the light of the flame. A unique timbre. The flame is original in its expression. This is what embodiment is to me.......the blending of heaven and earth resulting in no alike flowers.
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I am in an internet cafe as I write this, and on the wall is a picture of an eye, with the words "the eyes are the windows to the soul" underneath.
That's great!
Your screen is an eye too
It reminds me of
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Imagine all the beauty displayed in this forum!
Thanks, Christi, I always enjoy talking with you.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Sep 12 2008 : 3:29:29 PM
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Hi Steve
Your post is exquisite.... You just made the most beautiful summery of all that is happening.
I thank you from deep, deep down.....I hope there are many in your vicinity that benefits from your own open heart
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Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Sep 12 2008 : 4:19:37 PM
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Hi Katrine, Hi Christi,
Thank you both so much for sharing ... ahhh ... feels so good reading your posts ... Each of you have touched my heart ... so beautifully describing the transition that is now taking place .... between 'healing-doing' with energy and 'being-allowing-sharing' letting the Love work completely without interference.
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I was facinated by the books.....but didn't understand much of it. I read them through and never thought about them until the retreat this summer. When I came back I dug them out from a box in the attic and I read parts of them again. I understand all of it now....but the funny thing is.....that there is too much "doing" in them now.
I just can't function through a method. I must be able to release constantly.....
Does this make sense?
A number of years ago, I too had the opportunity to read the same books and took some preparatory classes with two of the teachers that taught at Barbara Brennan's school. I was not enrolled in the four year program as it was too expensive for me. But I still learned alot from them and from the healing sessions I received. Barbara has certainly contributed much to the healing arts profession.
For me, what you and Christi are describing and becoming is the next step. Beyond healing, I might call it wholing because it constitutes a more direct means of transforming the consciousness and vehicles. As you have so clearly written, it is beyond 'technique and doing' and touches another person, place, event ... existence itself from inside-out from the very core of All-That-Is. It can address whatever is needed in the moment, be it awareness, bodies, time-lines, lifetimes, genealogy, morphic fields etc. in an integral complete manner without one consciously having to know or recognize all the particulars. What is required is surrender of Self to Source and letting the Love work completely in a free and unencumbered way. Inner silence and an open fully functioning Heart are the keys.
In this non-doing and being, in the surrender of Self completely to the 'Source of Self' ... the 'True Source' ... the 'Source of Love and Light' ... magic happens. One becomes an instrument, a sacred space of joy, allowance and acceptance, of being in-love with Source opens a portal spanning all dimensions and beyond dimension to pure Love itself. There is no forcing ... there is no doing ... the pure Love of Source works directly touching the essence of who we are. In addition when necessary, the Love calibrates itself perfectly to what is required and can serve as a carrier wave to bring in any other frequencies needed, in sequence or blending in combination. It works through flow, radiance and resonance. Moreover, the Love can move beyond the sequence and duration of time to bring about the best possible outcome for a given condition or situation by directly shifting our consciousness and morphic field in a way that better reflects a complete accordance with the Love and Will of Source.
Our continuous gratitude and surrender of our life and whole Self to be used as an instrument to freely share the Love with others provides a medium that allows the Love to work. It is a very special opportunity for each of us ... so much joy, light and love for everyone. And remember and realize this is not just energy, it is the Love of True Source which is complete. As this occurs, the Love benefits both the one receiving and the instrument. We begin to learn more and more about the real meaning of Love through the direct realization of our Heart. This pulls us, our real Self, closer and closer to the Source of Self, our True Being, to the Source of Love and Light transforming the pure silent nature of our inner Being into a permanent part of the Love. Borrowing a word from Katrine, smitten and in-love, we now are becoming part of the Love. This is done naturally without effort with a sweetness, joy and gentleness that floods our entire being. The delight of being becomes alive in Love.
Energy and the Light are not the same. Nor are the Light and Love the same. In a very real sense the Light is merely the outermost radiation of the Love. From 'Hands of Light' to an 'Instrument of Love' to 'Love Itself'. The Love of Source is complete and what we truly are. It can transform anything ... condition, place or event ... and when fully freed by our complete letting go can do so in an instant and do so perfectly without doing at all. In Joy and Grace and Love there is no limitation. Indeed, we are truly blessed.
Within the inner silence, the potentiality of all possibilities exist. Given the opportunity by an open Heart, containing all possibilities within itself, the Love of True Source knowingly and lovingly selects and gives the best all ways ... always. The Heart knows the way ... may it be our guide.
We are all learning day by day. Thank you both for being such beautiful expressions of Love and through your posts and sharing teaching each of us through the particulars of your individual journeys. It is deeply appreciated.
Love and Light,
Steve |
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Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Sep 12 2008 : 4:50:21 PM
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Hi Katrine,
Sorry about the out-of-order posting. When you were posting, I was editing and found it easier to just delete and re-post.
It was your and Christi's beautiful dialogue that opened and inspired my Heart to respond. Truly, it is all the Love of True Source and a joy to share with you and everyone. I thank you and the many others on the forum whose wonderful postings continue to inspire me on a daily basis.
Love and Light,
Steve |
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