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Lesson T62 - Orgasm, Vajroli and the Nectar Cycle  (Audio)

From: Yogani
Date: Mar 5, 2009

New Visitors: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"


Q: Twenty some years ago, I was meditating and I was very surprised, to put it mildly, when I had an orgasm, and nothing came out! It was the most exquisitely delightful and pleasurable I'd ever had, by far, as well you must know. I was also completely dumbfounded because I had never heard of such a thing happening, nor did I know anyone who did. A book I was reading described the vajroli process as being about becoming an urdhvareta (one whose sexual energy is flowing upward), though it didn't even consciously register when I read it. Of course, now, what I wanted more than anything was to have that experience again, over and over, but it seemed that the more I tried, the more it didn't happen.

I've experimented around with Taoist yoga/tantric practices, and those practices seemed similar, but never led to anything close to that first vajroli experience. Mostly, I found them to be interesting, and I knew sexual energy and the ecstasy possible in meditation were one and the same. I guess they could best be described using your terminology: pre-orgasmic. It never occurred to me to try to develop that.

Doing the style of meditation that brought the first experience over the years, sometimes twice a day, usually once, the ecstatic experience came about two more times. Not a lot, that's for sure, but I'd never found another way. When I stumbled upon your writings, I was quite amazed to find my experiences talked about openly by someone who knew about them, and I've gotten the impression that those experiences can be directly sought after, and eventually one can live in that ecstasy all the time. Since discovering the AYP writings, I've found that the I AM meditation is very powerful, and surprisingly difficult. The Kundalini energy does easily activate in the spinal breathing. The style of meditation I have used for many years seems gentler, easier, even though the meditation time is longer - I usually mediate for 40 minutes, or longer if my knees can take it.

I tried, and found, that doing the I AM meditation and my old style of meditation is too much. So, I've reached a point where I have to decide to go one way, or the other. Your thoughts were pretty clear about that dilemma early in the lessons - if you have something that works, stick with it (Main Lesson 19). Now, I know my old style of meditation works, and I have stuck with it. However, I recently retired and decided what I really want to do before I die is to seek with all my energy to complete that vajroli process, to have the experience daily, all the time, and perhaps 3 times in over twenty years isn't enough and won't get me there, although even three times is worth millions.

Any thoughts?

A: Thanks much for your kind note and sharing.

The way we look at vajroli in AYP is as a constituent part of the neurobiology of enlightenment, the part associated with rising sexual essences in the "nectar cycle," as discussed in Main Lesson 304.

We regard vajroli mainly as an effect of core practices, which only then can become an effective cause feeding into the overall rise of ecstatic conductivity (kundalini). Approaching vajroli as a primary cause can lead to excessive focus on "mechanical vajroli." In AYP the focus is on core practices (deep meditation, spinal breathing pranayama, etc.), leading to "natural vajroli," which is the ongoing 24/7 rise of ecstatic energies in the neurobiology, as discussed in Tantra Lesson 60.

So I think you have the right approach focusing on your core sitting practices, rather than pursuing mechanical vajroli.

As for what AYP might add to your process, that is really up to you. If you have a method of meditation that works well for you, cultivating abiding inner silence, then it is not for me to encourage you otherwise. I would caution you not to "double up" with similar practices from different systems, as this can lead to overloads. You found this out about using two styles of meditation already. The same goes for pranayama, mudras and bandhas, etc. However, if you find elements in AYP that are not in your current routine, you may be able to add components that will enhance your progress.

As for nudging the vajroli process along in concert with other practices, do continue your study of AYP Tantra lessons, and also the main lessons on mudras, bandhas, siddhasana (especially), and other "stimulative" practice add-ons that might fit into your routine without doubling up on practices you are already doing. All of these things can accelerate the rise of ecstatic conductivity and natural vajroli. Be sure to self-pace for comfort and safety. Just because you have more time does not mean unlimited practice. There is a limit to what each of us can assimilate in a given time, and you will find out where your boundaries are. The rest of your time can be spent usefully in study, self-inquiry, and service, all which are important components of our path when we become naturally inclined to engage in them without forcing.

Further questions on vajroli and all practices can be covered much more thoroughly in the AYP Support Forums, where many can help and benefit from the discussions. In fact, if you do a few searches there, you will find that many discussions on vajroli and related aspects of practice have occurred there already.

If "dry orgasm" is something you are interested in exploring further, see this support forum topic.

As you will see, multiple dry orgasms are actually a fairly rudimentary stage of the journey. Once established, natural vajroli is something that is going on all the time, and though it could be said to be "orgasmic," it doesn't ever end, so it isn't viewed as a peak experience anymore. It is just life in the ongoing process of ecstatic bliss and outpouring divine love, occurring constantly in our abiding inner silence. In AYP, we also call this "stillness in action," and it brings much joy and goodness into our life, and into the world around us.

Wishing you all the best on your continuing path. Enjoy!

The guru is in you.

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Note: For detailed instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga practices and the enlightenment process, see the AYP Tantra book.  For detailed discussion on the neurobiology of the nectar cycle, see the Diet, Shatkarmas and Amaroli book, Also see AYP Plus.

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