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Fear as a Cause of
Under-Sensitivity to Deep Meditation (Audio)
November 25, 2009
New Visitors: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the archive, as previous
lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why
Q: It has recently come into my attention that a tendency I have to bounce
between various meditation techniques may actually be an ingrained fear of
letting go, expressing as over-analyzing by the mind instead of favoring the
simple and easy procedure of meditation. I think there may be some truth in
it. There is a wall created by our minds around that fear.
suggested, I read Lesson 366 on under-sensitivity to
deep meditation, and the part on the "finer points" of the technique of
meditation hit home with me. There can be a reluctance to let go and let the
mantra (or other object of meditation) do its thing. It is a subliminal fear
of letting go, of the unknown, of losing control. It can be quite a mental
structure, one that we even are not clearly aware of sometimes. It is really
the fear of losing control!
There is indeed a subtle but powerful gap
between the awake/conscious/controlling/mind state and the vast
unknown/uncontrollable realm of inner silence. And that gap is fear. Now, I
want to cross it! But I have to do some soul searching. I think with
patience and loving kindness toward myself it will happen. It is really a
matter of letting go.
Can you comment on this?
A: I am not
sure that soul searching will help much. Certainly not during deep
meditation. It is just more diversion by the mind. Favoring any sort of
analysis during meditation instead of the easy procedure is the culprit. It
is all about letting go into a procedure we can trust. We will be bouncing
from method to method, sabotaging each method in its turn with the mind,
until we can allow ourselves to let go into a tried and true procedure. If
we are experiencing worrisome thoughts (fear) during meditation, we can
regard them as any other thought that may be coming up, and easily favor the
mantra at whatever level of clarity or fuzziness we find ourselves in the
The essence of the practice is patience, persistence and, yes,
loving kindness toward ourselves. The further we go with our meditation
practice, the more of these qualities we will find naturally arising from
Regardless of what we might think is happening in AYP deep
meditation, if we are following the procedure, the corresponding results
will be there, and we learn to let go by degrees. This is what "baking in
the mantra" means. As the mantra bakes in, the qualities of pure bliss
consciousness flower out. That applies to any effective method of
meditation, as we are refining the object over time. This is the refinement
of attention in stillness, letting it go, coming to reside in abiding inner
silence. It takes time.
The inner workings of deep meditation, or
enlightenment itself, can never be "understood," because they are beyond the
realm of the mind. It is the condition of abiding inner silence, ecstatic
bliss, outpouring divine love, unity, and "I don't know." We can't have
enlightenment without "I don't know." In time, we get used to being the
unknowable behind all that is known.
On the other hand, the procedure
of deep meditation can be understood as well as we can understand any
practical tool, because it works. It is simple cause and effect, if the
procedure is followed. Very scientific. We do a known activity to produce a
known result entering the unknown, awakening the infinite divine unknowing
within us. This does not lead us to oblivion, or to a disconnected state.
The positive changes in our perception and conduct in everyday life are
unmistakable. Those we can know here and now. This is why enlightenment has
been called a paradox. And why Jesus said, "You must lose your life to save
Whatever seems ominous about this sacred awakening is a
fabrication in the mind. How could absolute eternal freedom in our
life be ominous? It is up to each of us to
solve the riddle for ourselves. The easiest way is to settle in and practice
twice each day like brushing teeth. Excessive analysis is clearly an
obstacle in this kind of endeavor. So the suggestion is to just practice
according to the procedure and enjoy the results in daily living. Nothing
more to it than that. Less is more!
not about what the procedure of deep meditation can do for us. It is about
what we can do to honor the procedure. In doing so, we are honoring
ourselves. It's going to be alright.
The guru is in you.
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