Note: For the Original
Internet Lessons with additions,
For the Expanded and Interactive Internet Lessons, AYP Online Books,
Audiobooks and more, see AYP Plus.
Lesson 235 -
Blending Inner Silence and Ecstasy (Audio)
Date: Sat Sep 11, 2004 3:59pm
New Visitors: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the web archive, as previous
lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why
Q1: I was wondering about something: After about the second week, I stopped
having all that sexual energy raging through me when I meditated which I
first wrote you about. (This is day 24 for me)
I recently started using a rolled up sock to sit on since I can't get my
foot under me. And I haven't noticed any difference in my experience during
the spinal breathing or meditation as a result of adding the sock. My
meditation is more peaceful now and, as I said, all that surging energy has
stopped. My head feels lighter when I meditate and I think it's deeper now.
But is the decline of energy rushes something to be expected?
After I read lesson #75 (on
siddhasana), I expected that "bucking bronco" which is what I experienced
the first week or two to repeat itself but it didn't. I'm not complaining.
Believe me, I'm glad that has stopped. It was somewhat overwhelming But I
just wanted to check on this. Do most people who first experience the
"bucking bronco" also have it calm down and stop after a while?
My other question is that sometimes my meditation gets so still and quiet,
that I realize after some moments that I have forgotten to repeat the I AM
mantra. There are no thoughts coming in. I am just blank and enjoying the
stillness. Should I not worry about it when this happens and just allow
myself to be blank and enjoy that stillness or go back to the mantra?
And lastly, sometimes when I go to bed, if I don't take something to help me
sleep, my body, mainly in my head, seems to be vibrating. It's like a low
energy current going through my head. Sometimes I see flashes of color (eyes
closed) but mainly it's just a feeling like I'm buzzing. Is this one of the
chakras trying to open?
A1: So much of energy experiences are due to what I call "friction" in the
nervous system - energy passing through partially loosened obstructions.
This can give the impression of a lot happening (erotic feelings, heat,
vibration, physical movements, mood swings, etc.). Once the obstructions
have been cleared out somewhat, then the experience can be much smoother and
blissful. Same energy - less friction. I mentioned early on that experiences
would change. That is the reason - changing patterns of obstructions in the
nervous system as they are loosened and dissolved. This does not mean you
are on the verge of total purification (though we'd all welcome it) - just
that there is more clarity at the moment. You are seeing between the slowly
dissolving clouds. It will change again.
As for siddhasana, if there is no bucking bronco, that is okay too. Look for
pleasant sexual stimulation in the way you do siddhasana. Not to overdo or
anything. But it is a tantric practice, you know, the essence of which is
preorgasmic stimulation. That, combined with inner silence, is the
enlightenment formula. It takes time to cultivate the appropriate blend.
Make sure to check out tantra lessons #16 and #28.
Both provide additional perspective on siddhasana. It is pretty advanced
stuff, so don't expect to have it all pulled together in a month. It will
take time. You will get there. Everyone will. It is written in our genes.
Quiet meditations are nice. When you realize you have been off the mantra,
just ease back to it in a very refined way at whatever level of thinking (or
non-thinking) you are in. Don't pull it all the way back out to a clear
pronunciation. It can be a very faint feeling of the mantra, and then you
are gone into blissful silent awareness again. That is right practice. It is
correct use of the mantra that got us there, and it is continued correct use
of the mantra that takes us even deeper. Then our whole nervous system is
infused with blissful inner silence when we go out into activity. That is
why we meditate.
On sleep, make sure you are meditating before dinner and having some good
mental and/or physical activity between dinner and bedtime. That way,
releases in meditation will be least likely to interfere with sleep. If you
were inclined toward those energy experiences in sleep anyway, before
beginning meditation, then some other measures may be necessary, like the
pills. If you work the energy out before bed with more activity, that could
help. Over time in yoga, there will be less inner "friction" in sleep also,
and in all of life.
If the inner energy movements become excessive in sleep, or at any other
time, and seem related to practices, then it is time to think about
self-pacing - scaling back in practices a bit until things calm down.
Q2: Before reading the lessons (tantra #16 & #28)
you referred me to, in my next meditation, I sat on my rolled up sock during
my breathing and meditation again. During my meditation, I felt the need to
move one of my crossed legs and not finding a comfortable position for it, I
put it up on top of my crossed thigh near my body. This resulted in more
weight going down on the ball, pressing it harder against that area. Soon my
body started to gently rock back and forth forward and back a little. This
created a preorgasmic sensation. I found it pleasurable and a little
frustrating because of wanting to achieve orgasm. But the main thing is even
though I was thinking I AM my attention was more on the sexual stimulation
than on the mantra. It was almost laughable. My body is thinking of
satisfying this sexual pleasure and my mind is shouting I AM.
So now my question: Should I encourage the rocking to stimulate the sexual
feelings? I had the impression that just sitting still it should happen.
A2: Ah, the bucking bronco!
It is suggested you keep it at a level of stimulation that does not disrupt
your meditation too much. That means staying pretty still with moderate
pressure. Later on the energy can be increased as conductivity rises in the
nervous system, so it will not be so frustrating. It is an evolution that
takes months, or even years. In the meantime, just keep it near simmering
without too much distraction.
If it is too much of a distraction in meditation, you can use siddhasana
more in spinal breathing where energy distractions are not so critical, and
then leave (or reduce) siddhasana during meditation. You will find your
balance, as long as you remain clear about the principle involved - inner
silence balanced and blending with ecstatic energy.
Once you get to be an old hand at siddhasana, you will be able to sit in
total stimulation with no sexual frustration at all. Just a fountain of
ecstasy flowing upward through your nervous system, cascading through
endless realms of unbounded inner silence! That is the fruit of siddhasana,
and why it is such an important tantric practice. It enables us to transform
sexual energy to unending divine ecstasy. All of the tantric practices are
for this. Siddhasana happens to be one that can be done daily in our
scheduled practices. That kind of consistency in practice is not possible in
sexual relations, though plenty can be done with tantric methods when sexual
relations do occur. See the rest of the tantra
Over time, as we cultivate the transformation in sitting practices, we find
the experience of ecstatic bliss coming up naturally from within throughout
the day. Our view of life expands infinitely as this happens, and we find
ourselves in a position to joyously give much to those around us. This is
what we mean by "ecstatic living."
The guru is in you.
See this complete instructional lesson, and all the expanded and interactive AYP Plus lessons at:
Related Lessons Topic Path
Discuss this Lesson in the AYP Plus Support Forum
Note: For detailed
instructions on siddhasana, see the AYP Asanas,
Mudras and Bandhas book.
For detailed instructions on building a
balanced daily practice routine with self-pacing, see the
Eight Limbs of Yoga Book,
and AYP Plus.